… This Just In …

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…TAT-tat-tat-TAT-TAT-tat-tat-TAT…

[Breaking News: from another strangely irrelevant moment in our newsroom...]

There’s a reason the term “deadline” starts with “dead,” and not something like “fun,” “happy” or “coke.” Deadline days are stressful. Which is why some conversations with my editor end up like this…

Editor: “Why is it again you can’t make tomorrow’s meeting?”

Me: “My daughter is having a permanent retainer put in.”

Editor: “I didn’t know they did that.”

Me: “Yeah, it never comes out. Keeps things symmetrical.”

Editor: “I need a body retainer.”

Me: “I think you mean a retaining wall.”

Editor: “I hate you.”

Me: “No you don’t.”

Editor: “True — but I really want to…”

(Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available here from Port Hole Publications for Christmas)

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