Me.
Sexy.
Poetry.
Those are three words I never expected to be associated with. Especially that second one, which I’m still scratching my head about. But tonight, I’ll be joining seven other men for Round 2 of the “Who Is the Sexiest Number?” at The Public Blogger.
The objective is to write your sexiest poetry.
That’s right: Me, a humor columnist, bringing on “the sexy” against young rappers and artists. Let’s be honest, bringing “the sexy” is hard enough by myself. Believe me, I know.
Wait… not that I know what it’s like being sexy by myself. I just meant when I’m by myself it’s already hard… I mean tough! It’s tough writing poetry!
*sigh*
This could be really ugly.
Anyway, the polls are open and the poetry is posted HERE. Vote for your favorite or simply come to watch my horrible poetry trainwreck. I’ll warn you that I tried to be provocative with my own type of… uh…
“Sizzle.”
I’ll let you be the judge…
Ned's Blog 
Loved the build up. I laughed at the last word in your poem…. humor is sexy, though. Good luck. 🙂
Thanks so much! And I’m counting on the sexiness of bacon to carry me through 😉
Voted for #8 – when does my bacon arrive? ha!
*licks fingers* Wrapping it now, Paul!
OMG! Could not believe what I was reading… oh soooo tantalizingly unexpected! And then.. and then! That big finish. Sigh…. lucky, lucky, Alicia…
“Big Finish” is my middle name *cough cough*
Sorry, too much?
Bahahahaaa!!!!!! Oh man… yeah….Sunday funnies are the best.
My other middle name… (And thanks, Robyn 😉 )
Bacon! I’m in! That was less awkward than I imagined.
Hahaha! Just what a man wants to hear… 😉
Innit bruv!
Going to sizzle. I mean check it out and vote.
Rumor has it you can do both, Gibber!
I’m down with that. I voted twice. Bahahaha bacon!
yeh, you had to pull out the bacon, your secret weapon…)
That’s the only secret weapon I can pull out.
Good to stay within the law )
Wow. Who wants bacon?! I need a cold shower.
I’d even eat cold bacon.
OMG! I loved your poem! So well done… *fans face* you need to put some of that in a book?? I think you would be very good at writing erotica! 😉
Haha! The world’s first bacon erotica book!
Exactly! Everything “tastes” better with bacon!!! Right/? 😉
Just like bacon, you’re a girl after my own heart.
😉
Heading over there to read and vote right now.
This might be one of my favorite posts of yours…*falls onto a fainting couch
Bacon has that kind of power…
And darn it! I missed the voting. Loved your bacon poem…sizzling indeed. What a cool competition. Is there more? Just seeing if I need that second fainting couch. 🙂
Lol! Thanks, Michelle. I’m honestly not sure what happens next. If I make it through, there’ll be another round this Sunday — whatever it is. And the final is June 2…? I’m just having fun with it. No pressure. It’s only my sexiness on the line, right?
Good luck, Ned.
Thanks, my friend. I’m just having fun this round, and whatever happens happens. As long as I have actual bacon, I’m a winner.
True enough.
The only thing sexier then a yummy plate of delicious, smoky, melt in your mouth porky deliciousness called bacon (and you of course) would be a big heart shaped tin filled with delicious yummy artery clogging bacon dipped ever so lovingly, gently and deeply in mood setting, pheromone turn on rich, velvety , sweet milky chocolate!!! Maybe several small packages of that porky goodness dip in different flavored milk chocolate! Add a bit of hit pepper to the chocolate for some spicy deliciousness.. Or dipped in half white and half milk chocolate… Add in a package of yummy porky, smoky, spicy bacon dipped in… Heart healthy deep dark chocolate! I’m not a doctor, but I do believe the dark chocolate will probably counter act the artery clogging properties of that tasty porky bacon!!!
Next year for Valentine’s Day, the love of my life is getting a huge tin filled with chocolatey, porky yumminess… delicousness and lovingly hand dipped by me in all sorts of of velvety smooth and chocolates all wrapped in pretty and porky paper… He gave me his heart.. Hopefully I don’t give that loving heart a heart attack!!!
Keep up the bacon poetry and it will make you famous for more then just being sexy!
I honestly almost had a euphoria-stricken heart attack just reading this, Judy!