Zombie apocalypse or writing world: survival skills are essentially the same

image Before we get to this week’s Nickels Worth on Writing, I have been told by the U.S. Postal Service that sending me your nickels taped to postcards is not acceptable. Apparently, it really messes with the sorting machines, which mistakenly re-direct them to the “Clothes for Miley Cyrus Fund.” So, until we get this figured out, hold on to your nickels; my NWOW is on the house!

Does that mean my advice, gleaned from 15 years as a columnist and referred to by some of today’s most influential writers as “the fertilizer in the garden of writing,” will be any less insightful?

Of course not.

Money or no money, I promise you my weekly advice could not be any less insightful — which is why authors like Stephen King, J.K. Rowling, John Grisham and E.L. James receive this post in their spam email every Friday, and why this weekly feature was recognized by Writers Digest magazine as “One of the few blogs that illustrates, with absolute clarity, why writers such as Hemingway became alcoholics.”

OK, enough with the accolades! Time for this week’s NWOW, which can also be found at Gliteray Girl. I realize it makes no sense mentioning that since you’re already here, yet makes perfect sense in a situation such as this, when I am attempting a shameless plug for a terrific writing website I guest post for. I also think it’s worth noting that I am the only male at Gliteray Girl — a situation that may change once they discover I have a beard. Until then, come see me there!

As a columnist, I’m often asked what it takes to survive. While this is often a rhetorical question posed by my editor, usually in conjunction with a “possible assignment” in the middle of the Mojave Desert, it got me thinking about the parallels between traits needed to survive the writing world and the world following a zombie apocalypse. As you will see, there are some eerie similarities. And not just between agents and brain-eating zombies.

First, you have to accept the fact that, like zombie apocalypse survivors, writers are in the minority. The odds often seem overwhelming — because they are. Only the strongest writers survive the hoards of unsympathetic editors and publishers, many of whom have an unquenchable appetite for the next serving of hot… intellectual property. As a writer, you must arm yourself with the resources necessary to survive the threat and also surround yourself with a support network you can count on.

Owning a crossbow doesn’t hurt, either. Especially when it comes time to negotiate your book contract.

But let’s say you don’t have a crossbow. Keep in mind that whether your support network is made up of other writers or simply people who have your best interests in mind, what matters is that someone has your back whenever you put yourself at risk as a writer — someone who can dress the wounds and be willing to tell you if you’re beginning to turn. And by “turning” I mean losing your “humanity” to a writing world that can harden you over time. Usually without you even knowing it. Once that happens, it’s only a matter of time before you begin to rot from the inside. Oh, and wear really outdated clothes.

Finally, as with any true zombie apocalypse survivor, you must make time to revel in the small victories and appreciate the things that make you a writer. In the same way the characters of The Walking Dead have come to recognize and savor the smallest things that define the living — warmth, a heartbeat, aromas, tastes and a thoughtful whisper — writing world survivors must remember to do the same.

The joy of turning the perfect phrase, communicating an idea in a unique way, discovering something about yourself or a character you hadn’t anticipated — these are just a few of the pleasures that define the writer who lives in all of us.

Whether it’s the zombie apocalypse or the writing world, being a survivor means never losing hope; it means always believing in tomorrow; and surrounding yourself with people who share those notions.

And again: a crossbow is never a bad idea, just in case…

(Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. Write to him at nhickson@thesiuslawnews.com, or at Siuslaw News, P.O. Box 10, Florence, Ore. 97439)

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21 thoughts on “Zombie apocalypse or writing world: survival skills are essentially the same

  1. If only I had a nickel for every time I read Ned’s Nickel Worth on Writing. Are we supposed to give you five cents? Or is the advice worth five cents to us? Either way, after taxes, whoever’s getting that coinage is coming away with three cents, tops.

    • I can’t offer cash refunds, Michael, but I can send you something of similar cash value. Just let me know: 1) where you’d like me to send your Taco Bell hot sauce packets, and 2) if you prefer mild or hot.

  2. Does that mean I can’t take showers and have to eat worms or bugs? And, I can’t have a decent night’s sleep? I’ll just remember I will only take what I can use. I don’t know if that applies to anything at all, Ned! I now have faith I can survive, at least the night.

    • Surviving the night is probably a good enough start for now. As for the bug eating and not taking showers… I’m sure there may be others who will want to weigh in on those 😉

  3. and what’s to become of us when we come face to face with the vampires and werewolves? i suppose i should add a wooden stake and doggie treats to my arsenal?

  4. Pingback: Never Trust a Zombie – Chapter 2 | PaulBrodie.NET

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