Last week, we said goodbye to our weekly feature The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance) and introduced The Box: a collection of odd, unidentified photos which — just like many items in our break room refrigerator — have remained unclaimed for 10 years or more. Each week, I will utilize my journalistic training, combined with the full extent of our 1980s computer technology, to explain the circumstance surrounding a randomly chosen photo from The Box. This random selection process is achieved by me quietly dumping the photos onto the floor and then, just as quietly, releasing a wild, blindfolded squirrel into the newsroom. The photo nearest the first reporter to scream is the winner!
I have to say, the selection process went extremely well for this first edition of The Box.
(In an entirely unrelated matter, if anyone is interested we are seeking a new intern.)
Now, let’s get to this week’s photo…
What we know:
This photo is from the late 1980s. This was determined through meticulous scrutiny of items within the photo, such as the make of screwdrivers and watch design on the subject’s left wrist. Also, the manilla envelope this photo was found in said “Late 1980s.”
Results of my investigation:
Thanks to my trained eye, the lack of a wedding ring on the subject’s hand helped me determine that the photo was taken in his mother’s basement where, based on what appears to be a small cot and bag of McDonald’s fries next to a wood stove, he spent much of his free time assembling his own earth-friendly spaceship (remember, this is Oregon). Armed with that irrefutable assumption, I turned to our newspaper’s morgue, where we keep issues dating back to the late 1800s, and searched through the 1980s for any stories pertaining to someone launching themselves into space from within the Florence area…
Because I wasn’t able to find any stories regarding a manned space launch from Florence, it’s logical to assume, from a journalistic standpoint, this man, now in his 40s and who we’ll just call “Norman,” is still in his mother’s basement putting the final touches on his hemp-fueled spacecraft.
I’ll update you if anyone leaves our air space…
28 thoughts on “Another random moment from “The Box” of unclaimed photos”
Are you crazy?
THAT IS JERRY BRUDOS.
As long as HE’s not out, you should be good…
…that is some crazy mess on that wall.
naw…he gots people, they gots people that gots people…its an underground.
that duded is building massochism.
Im ready for next week already. HELL-O
He looks so content to be doing what he’s doing, whatever that may be, it must be the hemp.
I get that same look when I’m writing.
About hemp I mean…
hahahahahaha! I have been too busy with my day job to write or to read. What about the book??? Did it launch, did I miss it?
Lol! No, it’s not being released until December. When I get a specific date, I’ll put the word out. I did attend my first book festival a few weeks ago
It was pretty fun, even without a no-host bar 😉
Oh phew, I hate to miss these important milestones! I’ve been seeing your posts in my email, thinking I have to read Ned’s stuff but I am working too damn hard because the universe HATES ME!
Hahaha! No worries!
And thanks for checking 😉
I believe this was the ad photo for “Breaking Brad”.
I think it was actually “Breaking Brad: An inside look at a budding serial killer/upholsterer”
Yep. Can’t you hear him saying ‘You’re my free pass, STITCH’?
LOL! Actually, I can—which is more than a little frightening…
Oooh, I like your random way of choosing a photo. I wonder if that would work next time we have a raffle at work. Of course I’d have to substitute some other Australian marsupial (or feral cat) for the squirrel. I could see it working….
That’s right! It’s all about building the excitement!
And then scooping up the excrement, which is why I went with the squirrel approach.
i think you may have been chasing a red herring, with the spacecraft angle. have you checked the archives for a missing relative or neighbor or pet perhaps ?
Haha! That seems to be the resounding consensus with this photo. I may have to dig deeper. Like maybe in his back yard…
how’d you get a photo of my dad from 1986? diabolical!
Lol! I have connections. The other end of those connections are hooked to a battery, but still…
Bidding “adieu” to “The Door” was sad, but I’m looking forward to more on “The Box”!
You know, closing The Door was actually harder for me than I anticipated, but as they say: when one door closes, there’s always a box to trip over… 😉
Worst toddler car seat ever.
I suppose that’s true, depending on the toddler.
The box? Yikes! I hope you don’t have t move on to a vat … 😉
Maybe a wine vat… 😉
I hear ya!
His smile is a little disturbing. Did you also check missing persons records?
Everyone seems to have reached the same conclusion, which is essentially that he was removing the passenger seat from his VW bug.