[Breaking News: from another strangely irrelevant moment in our newsroom…]
Each week, our entire editorial staff — all four of us — gathers for a meeting to discuss what we’ll be reporting on, any upcoming news-worthy events, and individual assignments. After 15 years, my editor has learned to stop asking why I attend these meetings. Case in point: Today’s editorial meeting…
Editor: So we have the Coastal Conference going on this weekend. Ocean biologists, scientists and others will be conducting workshops on algae and sea weed identification. Sounds a little boring, but they WILL be dissecting a shark in the parking lot on Saturday.
Me: THIS is no place to perform some half-assed autopsy on a fish! And I, for one, am not going to stand there and watch that little Kintner boy SPILL OUT ALL OVER THE DOCK!
Editor: How many times have you seen Jaws?
Me: I stopped counting after 25.
Editor: Thanks for that dramatic and entirely useless input. Now, let’s talk about our annual Pet Guide section. Apparently, sales have dropped considerably. We need some ideas to freshen it up and get more interest.
Me: What if we made it only about obese pets and called it the Heavy Petting Guide?
Editor: [rubs temples, looks at calendar] Six months until my next vacation…