Reasons even a straight man can benefit from watching The Bachelor

image (I had the laps in judgement distinct privilege of being a guest contributor over at Long Awkward Pause today. Here’s an excerpt, along with a link at the bottom. Sorry it’s not the sausage kind…)


My name is Ned and I watch The Bachelor.

I’ve been a heterosexual for 17,155 days and counting.

I can see the looks of confusion but that’s okay; I’ve gotten used to it. In fact, I used to hide my Bachelor/Bachelorette watching…

“Hey Ned, how about that Trailblazers game last night?!?”
“Yeah, man! They really dominated the paint!”
“What are you talking about? They LOST!”
“Oh, right. Uh, I got tapped out for a house fire and missed the second half.”
“Was everyone ok?”
“Yeah, but the girls who didn’t get a rose were pretty upset.”
“Wait… what?”

(Read the rest at Long Awkward Pause…)

7 thoughts on “Reasons even a straight man can benefit from watching The Bachelor

  1. Just once, I would love to see a season of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette where everyone is in their 70s.

    Her: I’m giving you a rose
    Him: *wiping* What about my nose?
    Her: No, no. The flower
    Him: I dunno. 5 o’clock, maybe
    Her: What baby?
    Him: Pat’s got rabies?
    Her: Who the hell is Pat?

    Bachelors aren’t eliminated so much as die.

No one is watching, I swear...

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