…TAT-tat-tat-TAT-TAT-tat-tat-TAT…
[Breaking News: from another strangely irrelevant moment in our newsroom…]
Any journalist will tell you a well-written headline can mean the difference between getting your story at the top of the fold on Page 1, or settling for a small corner next to a press release for the Moose Lodge spaghetti feed. In fact, headlines are so important that some newspapers have editors who do nothing but come up with catchy titles to hook readers.
Not here at Siuslaw News.
We don’t even have a poofreader.
Does that mean we don’t give as much consideration to our headlines? Of course not! We’re professionals! I can’t tell you how many times my editor and I have haggled over just the right phrasing that covers “The Three I’s” of headline writing:
1) Informs
2) Interests
3) Intices Entices
Sorry, I meant “The two I’s and an ‘E'” of headline writing.
Just today, we were faced with creating the right headline for a story regarding a hot button issue. Frustrated (and possibly intoxicated), my editor assigned the task to me…
Sure, at a lesser paper that boring headline would probably fly. I decided to dig deeper…
It was better, but I decided to take another pass at it…
Then, the headline gods spoke! Or maybe slurred…
Clearly, digging any deeper for this headline was unnecessary.
And potentially hazardous.
(Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.)
Ned's Blog 
Lmao priceless. Thanks for the laugh
You’re welcome, Martin! Thanks for reading. By the way, I’m a HUGE fan of wolves 😉
Needs to give a salt? I don’t get it…
I’d actually be more worried about your lead — typos, dropped caps, dateline changes! Who’s in charge here?
It’s a retirement community, so salt is about as spicy as it gets here. Besides, no one but past editors read beyond the headlines anyway…
Damn it, I wish I could think of one to take it to an even deeper level! Ooh…wait…I think I’ve got one…no never mind, it was just wind.
I think that would be under “Breaking News…”
You’re good.
Most enjoyable read!
Sometimes the title says too much.
If it bleeds, it leads.
If it poops, it scoops.
Eat beans,shit happens?
Haha! Bringing you the scoop on the poop!
Away with Depends, Shitty people needed
I can’t compete with that; I’m wiped out.
It must be the rain.
Perfect. And if you follow the fourth “I” guideline for headlines–“Intestinally charged”–it meets that, too.
LOL! I won’t touch that one! (For obvious reasons…)
Definitely. At least not until you’re double-gloved.
You’re one funny cat, Ned.
Or
This Just Out…
You really got all the poop on that article…
They don’t call me “Scoop” for nothing…
LOL!!! Hey, Poulsbo is a retirement community too… you DEFINITELY would spice up our paper. We might even give a S#&% too! Beware of us OLD people!
UH
Is that for “Uncle Henry” or are you just grunting over the septic?
Both, although my stench rivals the septic.
Good job. I rarely tap out immediately.
Tap out… are we still talking about the septic?
Ask not for whom the Taco Bell tolls, it tolls for thee.
Haha! I really try to live my life as Toll Free as possible.
you’ve hit the honey pot with this last one, ned )
You’re so sweet, Beth…
Oh, thank you for the laugh! I needed this today.
Beth’s comment just put me over the edge. Thank you!
I’m so glad, Michelle 😉
And as for Beth, I would seriously consider repeating kindergarten if she we my teacher. Even if I had to sit in one of those little desks.
Oh, I know! Beth rocks 🙂
And thank you for yet another visual. Something about seeing a grown man in a little desk makes me giggle.
It’s probably because I’d be wearing superhero Underoos…
OMG…stick a fork in me!!!
Bwahahaha. I don’t know how your editor puts up with you.
Must share this post of mine from the other day. It might be ‘Door’ worthy. 🙂
http://suzjones.wordpress.com/2014/10/22/backing-up-and-a-laugh/