BREAKING NEWS! • • • MEDIA ADVISORY! • • • ANYTHING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION!
Emboldened by their success thwarting the release of Sony Pictures’ controversial comedy The Interview, North Korean hackers issued another threat just moments ago warning of an attack “should anyone ever play a Justin Bieber song again. Ever. Anywhere.”
In an unprecidented move, world leaders from 120 countries immediately met and unanimously agreed to sign a pact keeping the digital airwaves “in all its forms, including our kids’ iPods and Smartphones” free of Justin Bieber music.
“It’s just not worth the risk,” said one world leader. “Gee, I sure hope they don’t make a threat about the new season of ‘American Idol’ or another ‘Hangover’ movie.”
(Ok, fine.)
(This didn’t really happen.)
(But it’s worth a shot…)
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(Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.)
Ned's Blog 
Don’t get my hopes up like that.
Sorry. I guess it’s like one of those fake “winning lottery tickets.”
I feel bad now.
You’re a mad genius, Ned Hickson.
That’s a real compliment considering the source of madness 😉
I said it before… Use those mad skills for good instead of evil!! Right??
Somebody has to stop the Justin Bieber madness.
hah i love this and the cdc has issued a warning that their beiber fever vaccine may be useless against this year’s mutation.
Hmmm.
Ironic that it should coincide with the big finale of The Walking Dead…
There’s a ranch, that advertises in farm publications around here, that has a “Bieber Fever” fall bull sale. I believe the bulls wear gold chains and backwards baseball caps also.
Just the thought of that almost made me consider becoming a vegetarian.
Almost…
For cryin’ out loud, I meant to include the link. Sheesh.
http://www.bieberredangus.com/
I have two words for you……if only!!
LOL! 😉
It is unlikely that the North Koreans are capable of such an act of kindness.
Hahaha! Good point! That would be an act of humanitarianism on a global scale.
I rushed here thinking this blog was going to be your announcement that Justin Bieber is your secret love child.
Only if this was my obituary.
Ahhh.. OK.. everyone has a few chimps in their closet.
Not funny man. Justin Bieber os the John Lennon of his generation.
I’m with you on that, as long as you don’t include the talent, integrity or personal conviction.
Thank you. I hope this goes viral or gets freshly pressed..maybe both would be good!
I’d even settle for Freshly Viral.
Lol! That works!
Yeah! Especially because my fake Justin Bieber follower un-followed me! I will never take him back – no matter how many times he pleads, Baby, Baby, please!
That had to hurt. Finding out he was a fake, I mean. Ouch…
Yeah, I know what you mean about the fake. Take your new picture. I had to double-check it was really you without the jurnalist credentials you used to display, but the then the hair height was reassuring. The world was righted.
Haha! I just figured new year, new photo. The “jurnalism” one was about three years old. I’m glad you could still recognize me by my hair, though.
Hey! The bieb is a Canadian, don’t forget. Of course.you can have him if you wish, please. You know they could cast him as the killer of Kim in the movie and then send him on a promo tour to NK – that would solve multiple problems at once. Ahhh, elegance – ya gotta love it. use one problem to solve another.
Hahahahaha! Let me guess: you’re an efficiency ecpert, right?
How did you guess? 😀
As you can see, I’m even more efficient by leaving off letters in words, such as “ecpert.” geez…
I will say it one last time, unless of course you bring Bieber up again, you secretly want to be him, don’t you?
You’re right, I want him back in Canada where he belongs. Preferably somewhere it’s too cold to sing.
Re: Justin Bieber: I decided to take this approach when confronted with yet another viral opportunity. “I’ll Mature When I’m Dead” ~ Dave Barry
…and then I woke up.