Ned’s Low-cal holiday treats that won’t cause vomiting

imageUnless you’re a hyperactive nine-year-old fueled by Pixie Sticks and Hostess Cupcakes without an ounce of concern for weight-gain because concern is the ONLY ounce you’re going to gain this holiday season, then you’re like the rest of us trying to get through the next six weeks without looking like Jabba the Hutt’s stunt double.

What this means is finding a healthy balance between satisfying your God-given right to partake in all of those delicious holiday treats while, at the same time, adhering to the God-given Commandment to avoid gluttony.

Yes, the Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways. Take fruitcake for example…

No, seriously. Please take mine.

That’s because over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing quick and easy holiday recipe tips that are both low-calorie and delicious! And not just because “quick and easy” is my pet name.

Today, I am going to show you how to make a cup of hot chocolate that you can drink as an alternative to buttered rum or egg nog, which are not only high in calories but also lead to drunken fights about that time you — again, after too many buttered rums — made a snow angel in the front yard wearing nothing but a Santa hat.

In August. 

So avoid the awkwardness — and calories — with this hot and delicious alternative! (A pet name I’ve never had, by the way.)

 

Step one: Grab your favorite holiday mug!

Given that Star Wars comes out Dec. 17, this qualifies as a holiday mug

Given that Star Wars comes out Dec. 17, this qualifies as a holiday mug

 

Step 2: After filling your holiday mug with water and heating it in the microwave until you hear the ceramic crack, add a packet of Swiss Miss low-calorie hot chocolate. Only 60 calories!

Only 70 calories because there's no flavor... I mean SUGAR added!

Only 60 calories because there’s no flavor… I mean SUGAR added!

 

Step three: Add one packet of chocolate mix, depending on the size of your wasteline  mug

Hear that? It's the sound of you getting skinnier! Without the diarrhea!

Hear that? It’s the sound of you getting skinnier! Without the diarrhea!

 

Step 4: Stir liberally (or conservatively, depending on where you stand on the issue) to distribute the ingredients evenly!

Yes, it's a pink spoon and I'm man enough to admit it.

Yes, it’s a pink spoon and I’m man enough to admit it.

 

Step 5: Take your first sip!

There's nothing the satisfaction of knowing you are drinking responsibly, at least in terms of calories

There’s nothing like the satisfaction of knowing you are drinking responsibly, at least in terms of calories

 

Step 6: WHAT THE @#$%!

It's missing something... oh yeah, FLAVOR!

It’s missing something… oh yeah, FLAVOR!

Step 6.5: Add Hersey’s Dark Chocolate Syrup while no one is looking

Hey everyone! Look over there! Is that a new Star Wars ornament?!?

Hey everyone! Look over there! Is that a new Star Wars ornament?!?

Step 7: Enjoy your beverage, and the satisfaction of knowing everyone is jealous of your amazing “willpower.”

Sometimes, one ingredient can make all the difference

Sometimes, one ingredient can make all the difference

Ok, fine. So this wasn’t exactly as low-calorie as I’d planned. But at least you won’t have to worry about ending up in the yard making snow angels again.

Next tip: How to eat holiday fudge without the guilt (or any memory of it)

(Have a low-calorie holiday recipe you’d like me to improve or otherwise ruin? Leave it in the comments box or contact me through one of my links. Except the sausage link. I’m not sharing that…)

______________________________________________________

 

Like what you’ve read here but STILL want to buy Ned’s book,”Humor at the Speed of Life?” Click the icon below! (Yes, that one down there…)

image

 

 

Advertisements

28 thoughts on “Ned’s Low-cal holiday treats that won’t cause vomiting

  1. You had my hopes so high, only to be dashed! I was quite honestly thinking about revisiting Swiss Miss no sugar hot chocolate, until I read the ingredients and found whey on the list. Damn! I’m allergic to dairy (whey, casein, etc.). I don’t know whether to be thankful that a number of food allergies limit my Turkey Day dinner, or to be grateful, because it drastically simplifies my meal prep: turkey, pan drippings (no traditional gravy) thickened with corn starch, veggies (but no green beans), salad, potato or rice, and fresh fruit for dessert. No dairy or eggs, and a handful of other ingredients (including sugar) are severely limited. Hope you and your family have a warm and wonderful day together.

    • I’m so sorry about that, Susan! I should probably open with a “non-dairy” disclaimer to save any future disappointment 😉

      And my best wishes to you and your family today!

  2. Well after not one, but TWO Thanksgiving dinners, I have to do something to get through the next few weeks. But I am having surgery on my mouth the 18th of Dec. I’m sure that will hamper some calorie intake *groan* but it is not the way I would recommend anyone use as a diet method. LOL! 😛

No one is watching, I swear...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s