Unless you’re a hyperactive nine-year-old fueled by Pixie Sticks and Hostess Cupcakes without an ounce of concern for weight-gain because concern is the ONLY ounce you’re going to gain this holiday season, then you’re like the rest of us trying to get through the next six weeks without looking like Jabba the Hutt’s stunt double.
What this means is finding a healthy balance between satisfying your God-given right to partake in all of those delicious holiday treats while, at the same time, adhering to the God-given Commandment to avoid gluttony.
Yes, the Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways. Take fruitcake for example…
No, seriously. Please take mine.
That’s because over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing quick and easy holiday recipe tips that are both low-calorie and delicious! And not just because “quick and easy” is my pet name.
Today, I am going to show you how to make a cup of hot chocolate that you can drink as an alternative to buttered rum or egg nog, which are not only high in calories but also lead to drunken fights about that time you — again, after too many buttered rums — made a snow angel in the front yard wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So avoid the awkwardness — and calories — with this hot and delicious alternative! (A pet name I’ve never had, by the way.)
Step one: Grab your favorite holiday mug!
Step 2: After filling your holiday mug with water and heating it in the microwave until you hear the ceramic crack, add a packet of Swiss Miss low-calorie hot chocolate. Only 60 calories!
Step three: Add one packet of chocolate mix, depending on the size of your
Step 4: Stir liberally (or conservatively, depending on where you stand on the issue) to distribute the ingredients evenly!
Step 5: Take your first sip!
Step 6: WHAT THE @#$%!
Step 6.5: Add Hersey’s Dark Chocolate Syrup while no one is looking
Step 7: Enjoy your beverage, and the satisfaction of knowing everyone is jealous of your amazing “willpower.”
Ok, fine. So this wasn’t exactly as low-calorie as I’d planned. But at least you won’t have to worry about ending up in the yard making snow angels again.
Next tip: How to eat holiday fudge without the guilt (or any memory of it)
(Have a low-calorie holiday recipe you’d like me to improve or otherwise ruin? Leave it in the comments box or contact me through one of my links. Except the sausage link. I’m not sharing that…)
Like what you’ve read here but STILL want to buy Ned’s book,”Humor at the Speed of Life?” Click the icon below! (Yes, that one down there…)
28 thoughts on “Ned’s Low-cal holiday treats that won’t cause vomiting”
This is just like Calista Flockhart’s hot chocolate recipe, with chocolate syrup instead of the ExLax.
I’d try her recipe if Ex-Lax came in a squeeze bottle. But that’s just how it looks coming out.
UH oh UH UH UH UH
Haha! My best wishes to you and your family for a wonderful Thanksgiving, Steve
you are a wonder. enjoy the holiday!
You too, Beth — on both counts 😉
I’m glad I’m not the only one who adds chocolate syrup to my “sugar free” hot chocolate. 😛 Marshmallows too.
Great minds, as they say, right? Cheers and Happy Thanksgiving, Rebecca!
Happy Thanksgiving to you too! ❤
You had my hopes so high, only to be dashed! I was quite honestly thinking about revisiting Swiss Miss no sugar hot chocolate, until I read the ingredients and found whey on the list. Damn! I’m allergic to dairy (whey, casein, etc.). I don’t know whether to be thankful that a number of food allergies limit my Turkey Day dinner, or to be grateful, because it drastically simplifies my meal prep: turkey, pan drippings (no traditional gravy) thickened with corn starch, veggies (but no green beans), salad, potato or rice, and fresh fruit for dessert. No dairy or eggs, and a handful of other ingredients (including sugar) are severely limited. Hope you and your family have a warm and wonderful day together.
I’m so sorry about that, Susan! I should probably open with a “non-dairy” disclaimer to save any future disappointment 😉
And my best wishes to you and your family today!
“Ned Hickson: Thrall of the Empire”?
Do you ever look at the suggested serving sizes they print on those things and feel like you’re being trolled?
I know! Same thing with cereal, bacon, cookies, rice, mac and cheese… crap, the world is trolling me!
I’m trying to catch up after a week with no interwebs
It’s a tangled interwebs we weave… or something like that…
when first we practice to conceive…
… unless she reaches for a bottle a Alieve
If she overdoses, I will grieve…
… and blame it on my sexual prowess for others to believe…
for that which we are about to receive…
…assuming she doesn’t as for a reprieve.
or leak like a sieve
Well after not one, but TWO Thanksgiving dinners, I have to do something to get through the next few weeks. But I am having surgery on my mouth the 18th of Dec. I’m sure that will hamper some calorie intake *groan* but it is not the way I would recommend anyone use as a diet method. LOL! 😛
Yikes, me either! But hey, maybe you can still have some of that delicious “low-cal” hot chocolate?
Oh yes! I have a box already in my pantry!! ha ha ha!! 😉
Don’t forget the “secret” ingredient that makes it palatable (chocolate syrup, and lots of it…)
Oh yeah… I have a big bottle of that too 😉