I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, many of which I can’t say here because of this blog’s questionable G-rating.
However, until a few weeks ago, I’d never been called “Elfis,” which is the name of an Elvis-obsessed elf I’m playing in our community theater’s production of “Ho-Ho-Hollywood.”
In fact, being involved in this show has introduced me to a lot of firsts in my life. For example, wearing a bell-bottomed jumpsuit with a teddy bear embroidered on the cape.
Also, I’ve never stuffed mini Christmas lights down my pants so that I can “light up” when necessary — something that caused one theater goer to ask another, “I wonder what Ned has in his pants?”
Yes, for those in the front row, I can hear you.
While we’re at it, having someone wonder what’s in my pants is also a new experience for me.
We began rehearsals not long after I became editor at Siuslaw News. So, between being the editor-in-chief of our community newspaper by day, and stuffing mini lights down my pants at night (for the show), things have been pretty hectic as I try to find a balance between my new responsibilities at the newspaper, my continuing ones as a columnist and author, and life in general as a husband and father. Plus, I’m discovering that turning 50 has put a crimp in my ability to get by on just four or five hours of sleep.
In fact, we had a terrible and unintended re-creation of Elvis’ tragic death one night when someone found me asleep on the commode in my sequined jumpsuit.
Fortunately, the show wraps up this weekend, which means the end of late-night rehearsals (and Taco Bell). At the same time, our transition in the newsroom has been terrific and I couldn’t be happier — or more proud of — the team of journalists I get to work with each day. The response from readers and the community has been terrific and truly inspiring.
I have to say, not being able to respond as quickly to people’s comments here, or being able to post as regularly as I have in the past, has left me feeling guilty at times. I don’t want any of you to feel that I take your visits, comments and support for granted. For that reason, I wanted to take a moment to fill you in on things, even if it meant sharing an image like this…
Thanks so much for your patience these last couple of months.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some pants to stuff…
Ned Hickson is a nationally syndicated humor columnist with News Media Corporation and the editor of Siuslaw News. He is also the author of Humor at the Speed of Life, a collection of more than a decade of humor columns; and Pearls of Writing Wisdom: From 16 shucking years as a columnist, a writer’s survival guide. Both are available from Port Hole Publishing.