Admittedly, I feel like that guy who has every intention of being a good boyfriend but still ends up being a shmuck. Not because he’s cheating or manipulative or always eats the last strip of bacon without even offering to split it. But I have definitely allowed everything else in my writing life to take precedence over this blog, which was the cornerstone to so many of the good things that transpired IN my writing life since we first met back in 2004.
But like a lot of long-term relationships, we’ve grown and changed over the years — some of it resulting from the daily, monthly and yearly challenges of life, some from a shift in friend circles and constantly evolving social and cultural pressures, and some because (sigh…) I found myself attracted to younger, flashier platforms.
See? Schmuck.
Truth be told, my needs have changed. And while I will always find comfort in this blogging relationship, I recognize that neither of us are the same as when we first met. Not that it’s a bad thing. In fact, if I was still the same person I was 20 years ago, I’d be worried. Or at the very least a case study at mental health conventions. A lot has happened since those first blog posts. I was two years away from divorce and hiding my unhappiness beneath layers of humor — something that was both my fallback position and coping mechanism. Certainly better than drinking, lashing out, withdrawing or binge-watching Wrestle Mania reruns. Or all of the above for that matter.
The humor provided me a space to process my life in a way that was safe, acceptable and encouraging. These were things I wasn’t feeling in my “real” life then, and this blog was the relationship I needed. I’ve now been remarried for 16 years to my true soulmate and best friend, whose love has inspired my humor to be deeper and not a crutch or mask. When I’m silly, it’s because I want to be rather than need to be.
Also, after 23 years in journalism — including editor-in-chief through the tumultuous divisions of the 2016 elections and world-changing events of COVID — I retired two years ago and, in some ways, am still unpacking some of that baggage. I don’t see that as a negative as much as I see it as an opportunity to reflect on a very important question I call “WTF happened?” In the meantime, as some of you know, I’ve published the first book in a Pacific Northwest-based crime fiction novel series that’s been doing well on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, and also started my own manuscript editing and author coaching business.
As I said, things have changed since 2004 and so have I.
So have you.
But this isn’t a breakup talk. If anything, it’s my attempt to re-kindle this relationship by putting all our cards on the table, recognizing who we are now compared to then, and accepting each other for who we’ve become since first meeting 20 years ago.
Will I start reaching out every day or week? It’s doubtful.
Are you important to me anyway? Absolutely. You always will be.
Though this relationship has become something different than it once was, we still know enough about each other — and have shared enough together — that we’ll always have a connection to rely on and grow from, regardless of how frequently or infrequently we see each other. I don’t know what happens from here, other than knowing I want us to have a “from here.”
I hope you do too.
Oh, and this last piece of bacon? It’s yours…
— Ned
PS: To make sure there are no secrets between us, you can visit my author website to see what I’ve been up to in the fiction-writing realm by clicking HERE. But my feelings won’t change if you don’t.
Ned's Blog 
Retired, happy, writing, publishing … Ned, you are awesome! Congratulations on being just where you want to be in life. I hope you do find time to add to your blog. Your posts always bring a smile to my face when they pop up in my reader.
You think I’ve changed? You bet I have. It’s been twelve years since I first sat down and tried my hand at writing. I was so green and naive then. And life has certainly taken some curves. But I’m persevering.
I signed up for the Goodreads Reading Challenge this year. I want to read fifty books. This morning I finished #35. Book number 36? I just bought it. No Safe Harbor by Ned Hickson. Had no idea it was out there. Thanks for mentioning it! 😉
They really need to add a “love” button on WP, Maddie. I recognized the “MC” in that circle of pink immediately and was so happy to see it! Hard to believe it’s been 12 years (that’s in dog years, right? Please?) since your first posts and likes graced your blog and mine.
Thank you so much for being a wonderful part of this blogging relationship, and one of the reasons — despite my deep love of bacon — I’d offer my last strip.
And a special thanks for ordering a copy of “No Safe Harbor” as your 36th read! It certainly has light moments, but IS a crime/suspense novel, so not a lot of laughs lol! Please let me know what you think. I really value your opinion.
And thanks again!
So enjoyable!! It might take a minute to show on Amazon, but here is my review:
Ned Hickson has written an engaging story that definitely leaves you wanting more – in a good way. The main characters are likable and easy to root for. The suspense level is high with many twists and turns. This is an overall great read which I devoured in two settings. Great job, Ned!
Thanks so much, Maddie! Really glad you enjoyed it and I truly appreciate you taking the time to post a review! Hard at work on the sequel, which comes out this August.
Again, I really appreciate it — and you!
You’re welcome. I’m definitely looking forward to the next installment. And the review at Amazon should correctly say I devoured the book in two sittings. Gotta love typos! (Although two settings is accurate – the sofa and the bed.) 🙂
Hahaha! Spoken like a true writer 😉
Good to see you back in the old neighborhood! Sounds like life is going gangbusters. I’m beginning to think that life doesn’t really begin to cook until the fifties (or is that menopause?), but I’ve thought that with each new decade I’ve entered (not that you asked). 😉 Your latest read is fantastic and I’ll join you in having some bacon – just make mine turkey (I know it’s not nearly as good). Cheers to you and your beloved.
I have to agree with you — and maybe we’re in the minority — but each decade really has gotten better since my 40s. It’s so great to see you here, Susan, and I’m glad to hear your life is cookin’ (even if it means turkey bacon).
So glad you enjoyed the read, and cheers back at you ❤
Thanks for sharing and no need to explain, it’s a reflection of life, pleased that you are not breaking up with us!
And…. Thanks for making me think!!
Here’s to the future …
Hahaha! Thanks, Gillian! So glad we’re still “good.” Salud!
Thank goodness this wasn’t a break up blog post. Some of us who have been around for a while would be disappointed if you were to give up now. Especially since we have hung in there waiting for your next post…even if they do come 5 years later. 😁
I’m very proud for you and your published book and feel honored I know a published author. I pray you continue in your successful ventures. Looking forward to your next book! And post!
“I can’t quit you!”
Seriously, thank you, Kim, for your continued encouragement and support — of both this blog and my writing pursuits in general. You are very much appreciated ❤
💜
well, sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same. I’m still working on everything. And 2 jobs. So I don’t have the time to dedicate to a lot of reading, but I did get very excited to see your post pop up in my email, even if I didn’t get a chance to read it immediately. I’m finding myself a little melancholy lately, missing some people and things I love. Thanks for turning up when you did!
Julie, that means a lot, and it’s really great to see you here. I’m wasn’t exactly sure what drew me back to my blog… at least not until now.
It’s true that there’s a pretty terrific group that we all fell into back in “the day.” Thanks for being a part of that and serving as a reminder that “the day” can be any day we want. ❤