Two things we Americans shouldn’t have to argue about over the next four years

This will be my only post regarding the election. I decided early on that I will not give a place in my heart or head for the vitriol that has already begun. Therefore, this is not a rant or a finger wagging, but rather a clarification of two principles I believe we all share and I hope will support when the time comes.

First, every American, political party, president and administration has the right to pursue changing policies that they deem have failed, be it immigration, health care, foreign policy or abortion rights. It has been that way from the beginning and is the foundation for the “living document” that is our U.S. Constitution. Changes to policies are done through Congress which, ideally, represents the majority will of the people, for the people and by the people.

However (and this is a big however), the two most important founding principles of our Constitution — and primary reasons our forefathers risked everything to establish this nation — were:

1) Eliminate dictatorship to allow the pursuit of happiness, and
2) Escape religious persecution by assuring the freedom of religion

Regardless of where you stand on policies and amendments, these two beliefs are fundamental to our nation’s identity and are what separate us from just about every other country in the world, particularly Russia, North Korea, China, and much of the Middle East.

And yet the 47th president of the United States has made it clear that he wants to end presidential term limits and utilize total immunity from any illegal or unconstitutional acts while president. In addition, he has said he would use military force against “the threat from within.”

I’m sorry, but that sounds like a dictatorship to me.

He has also made it clear, particularly in his choice for Secretary of Education, that he wants to end public schools in favor of an all Christian-based education curriculum. I have no problem with anyone who wants to have their children be educated about Christ, the Bible, Christian values and the Ten Commandments. However, there’s a good reason our forefathers were clear about the separation of church and state: Pursuing your religious freedom means not being forced to adopt one doctrine over all others — and teaching children there is only one religion is the same as saying it is the ONLY “correct” religion. This plants the seed for the kind of religious intolerance and violence we have seen for hundreds of years in the Middle East. I would prefer we avoid that here in our country.

Regardless of where we stand as individuals on policies that impact how we deal with immigration issues, how we receive health care, our stance on foreign policies, and a woman’s right to choose, I would hope that we can all agree on the importance of keeping our most fundamental principles: The right to vote for a president every four years, and the right to religious freedom.

Republican or democrat, liberal or conservative, Christian or Buddhist, we need to stand together to protect those rights for ourselves and each other.

I’m not interested in support for or against these points. I have no interest in “winning over” anyone or starting a debate. And if the previous paragraph is true, then there shouldn’t be a need for debate anyway.

Thank you for reading.

— Ned

Then and now… Holy cow!

Apparently your characters aren’t the only things who change over time…

Eight years ago this Monday, I signed my first book contract (above left). It was for a collection of my syndicated humor columns called “Humor at the Speed of Life.” I was still a journalist at the time and had finished a 16-year run of my column in 50 newspapers.

Just LOOK at that guy! The youthful joy and hope in the face of a budding author! His eyes are bright! Full of anticipation for the future! I have ARRIVED! he’s thinking. The world is my oyster! Sure, I actually hate oysters because they initiate my gag reflex so bad I can launch one onto the wall from 6 feet away with surprising accuracy. But still… it’s my oyster to gag on!

Ahhhh, it seems like a lifetime ago. Especially when you include the COVID vortex that bent time and aged us all 20 years like when you leave half an avocado out over night.

Continue reading Then and now… Holy cow!

I know we’ve changed, but I’m not ready to break up with my blog

Admittedly, I feel like that guy who has every intention of being a good boyfriend but still ends up being a shmuck. Not because he’s cheating or manipulative or always eats the last strip of bacon without even offering to split it. But I have definitely allowed everything else in my writing life to take precedence over this blog, which was the cornerstone to so many of the good things that transpired IN my writing life since we first met back in 2004.

But like a lot of long-term relationships, we’ve grown and changed over the years — some of it resulting from the daily, monthly and yearly challenges of life, some from a shift in friend circles and constantly evolving social and cultural pressures, and some because (sigh…) I found myself attracted to younger, flashier platforms.

See? Schmuck.

Truth be told, my needs have changed. And while I will always find comfort in this blogging relationship, I recognize that neither of us are the same as when we first met. Not that it’s a bad thing. In fact, if I was still the same person I was 20 years ago, I’d be worried. Or at the very least a case study at mental health conventions. A lot has happened since those first blog posts. I was two years away from divorce and hiding my unhappiness beneath layers of humor — something that was both my fallback position and coping mechanism. Certainly better than drinking, lashing out, withdrawing or binge-watching Wrestle Mania reruns. Or all of the above for that matter.

Continue reading I know we’ve changed, but I’m not ready to break up with my blog

The year of living danglingly

My writing and editing partner, Ella, is really great at attacking dangling participles

A year ago today, I received my official Oregon business license establishing Easy Writer Editing Services as an LLC and, most importantly, a source for the IRS to tax. It was a big leap, especially for someone whose best mark in the long jump was about 4 feet. But sometimes you have to take a risk in order to follow your passion and do what you love rather than just doing what you must.

I’d spent 23 years as a journalist, columnist and eventually newspaper editor before semi-retiring and taking a job as a postal worker delivering mail and packages for the next year-and-a-half. During that time, I met and worked with some amazing folks who perform a very difficult job. I learned — and delivered on — nine different routes, getting know which dogs (and people) would bite and which ones just wanted a cookie. But all along, I felt something was missing. My mind wandered a lot. Story ideas kept nagging, along with my love of working with others who lived there lives in pursuit of utilizing words to communicate, educate and inspire.

I spent the last 6 months as a postal worker formulating and laying the groundwork for my exit strategy. I needed a business name, logo, alcohol a brand, website, alcohol a list of services and a fee structure, not to mention state and federal licensing, a business bank account (can’t cross the money streams without a good money launderer), a computer, business phone, printer, more alcohol an invoicing and payment system — so many details. And what if, after that investment of time and money, it failed?

Continue reading The year of living danglingly

Book launched! Um… now what?

A subtle reminder that my retirement may be in jeopardy.

Writing and publishing a book is a lot like making a pizza. You decide on what kind you’re going to make, then knead it until it’s ready to rise. Next comes the secret sauce, followed by the intricate layering of perfectly placed ingredients (and don’t you dare say pineapple) in order to give it just the right flavor — and finally, sprinkle it with herbs… like it’s fairy dust!

All DONE!

Well… sort of.

I mean, technically, you could eat it at this point.

But you really should bake it first. So, now you need to decide what temperature? How long? Pizza stone or sheet pan? And after it’s done baking, should it be cut into 12 pieces? 10? 8? Folded over and eaten like a giant calzone dripping down your shirt? What about ranch dressing? Pepper flakes? Parmesan?

Your completed book manuscript is like the uncooked pizza; all the ingredients are there but, until it’s baked and cut into publishable slices, no one is going to read it without running the risk of salmonella. (Did I mention I was a chef for 10 years back in the ’90s?)

On Aug. 16, my Northwest-based mystery/suspense novel No Safe Harbor officially went from pages of paper manuscript to 297 pages in a hardcover novel. It was initially met with the level of fanfare one would expect for a humor columnist releasing his first self-published crime novel [insert crickets here]

[NOTE: No crickets were harmed in the making of this blog post]

Continue reading Book launched! Um… now what?

After 20 years, it’s the publication countdown to my first suspense novel

Am I appropriately suspenseful looking?

When I retired from journalism and started my own book and memoir editing service last October, one of the primary reasons was to binge-watch Yellowstone try new vodkas become a TikTok sensation get back to my roots of fiction writing. At the top of the list was dusting off an original manuscript for a suspense novel I had written a draft of back in 1996 called No Safe Harbor.

I was living in Atlanta working as a chef, but spent the better part of a year interviewing detectives, crime scene technicians, and members of the Smyrna Police Department’s Internal Affairs office in my free time. Among those I interviewed was a private investigator named JR Noland who would only speak with me from pay phones. To this day, I still have no idea what he looks like. And since the book was set in Seattle — my absolute favorite big city — but I was in Atlanta, I had to research it the old-fashioned way: by catching a stagecoach to…

Ok, I’m not THAT old. But I did contact the Seattle Chamber of Commerce and lied pretended I was moving there and needed all the information I could get.

Hey, Google Maps and internet searches weren’t things back then.

Continue reading After 20 years, it’s the publication countdown to my first suspense novel

My reasons for being sleepless in Seattle

Seattle’s famous gum alley, where you can try literally millions of different types of gum for FREE!

I honestly believe I was a resident of Seattle in a past life. And not just because of things like free gum, fish tossing and some of the coolest graffiti I’ve ever seen (although those are all good reasons). There’s just something about Seattle that strikes a chord in me more than any other place I’ve lived or visited — from Dallas to Atlanta, NYC to Anchorage. Without question, it’s the main reason I chose Seattle as the setting for my crime novel while I was still living in Atlanta back in the late 1980s and early ’90s.

I’ve been to Seattle four times over the years, the most recent being last week as part of a writing road trip that included stops in Cannon Beach, Ore., for a special three-day conference for writers to “Get Lit at the Beach,” (That’s “lit” as in “literary,” folks) and then on to Seattle for some final research as I finish my book AND to attend a Chemical Brothers concert with my oldest son. (Warning: If you click on that link and have ingested any type of Mary-ju-wanna, you’ll be sitting there a while.)

Continue reading My reasons for being sleepless in Seattle

Exercising ye olde inspirational muscle

Barbed wire always catches my eye… (see what I did there?)

As I mentioned a few posts ago, each morning I find a photo I’ve taken — sometimes for the sole purpose of creating these daily memes, other times to the chagrin of my kids — and turn them into a meme offering advice or an inspirational thought to share with other writers. After 25 years, I have acquired a lot of baggage wisdom on the subject of writing. I share these daily affirmations to my editing service’s Facebook and Instagram pages for multiple reasons.

Aside from the opportunity to offer a thought or insight that a fellow writer might be needing that particular day (it happens), it’s also a great way to jumpstart my creative day, whether working on someone’s else’s manuscript or my own. Though some celebrated writers like Hemingway had a different approach to finding their creative muse, I have found it beneficial — and this is just me — to not be passed out drunk by 11 a.m.

So, I make memes, blending images with a kernel of inspiration, knowledge, insight or occasionally popcorn. But generally it’s the first three.

Continue reading Exercising ye olde inspirational muscle

No peeking at my stuff until tomorrow

It’s Chapter Three, not porn! Sheesh!

In the highly competitive world of unpublished mystery novel manuscripts (it’s a thing), one can never be too careful. Which is why I keep each chapter of my new book, No Safe Harbor, under wraps, cellophane and occasionally my bed until… well…

Saturday mornings at 9 a.m., when I post it for the whole world to see (apparently it really IS a small world.) So, sure, maybe I am overreacting. And maybe the teddy bear I gutted and stuffed with a Go-Pro aimed at my desk 24-7 is a bit much. But hey! It’s a M-Y-S-T-E-R-Y novel! Doesn’t this add an element of M-Y-S-T-E-R-Y by making it a secret until it’s posted? It’s so secret, in fact, that I make our dog leave the room while I’m writing each chapter in this final draft.

Sure, drafts one through three — who cares? I even let a stray cat into the room for that.

But the final draft? No way.

Continue reading No peeking at my stuff until tomorrow

A photographic mind… sort of

Even if this train will never leave the station, it doesn’t mean it can’t take us somewhere

Photography has always been a big part of my life, stemming from my early love of cinema and continuing through photography classes in high school, my many years in journalism and, now, as a way to tap back into my creative roots.

Part of the journey in this new chapter of returning to creative fiction, conjoined with helping writers through my editing services, has been a daily effort to blend the two into inspirational opportunities. The result has been a routine of beginning each day by taking one of my photos and utilizing it to illustrate an important point, tip or simple encouragement for my fellow writers. What started out as a promotional tool has developed into something I hadn’t anticipated: a morning meditation of dovetailing two of the things I love most.

It’s kind of a version of haiku, challenging myself to find the just the right words, within a limited space, that embellish a photo in a very specific way.

Continue reading A photographic mind… sort of