Study reveals male-pattern baldness doesn’t include ears

(Welcome to this week’s edition of Flashback Sunday, which is when we travel back in time to when my only followers were agents from Homeland Security, thanks to my calling Alabama fireworks “the backbone to our nation’s first strike capabilities.” This week’s flashback is an important reminder to all men that a well-laid comb over will go completely unnoticed if it must compete with ear hair that resembles a family of chinchillas…)

If you are a male over 40, chances are your ear hair has grown 2 centimeters since you read this.

If you are a male over 40, chances are your ear hair has grown 2 centimeters since you read this.

What I’m about to tell you may be considered vain. On the other hand, it could also be considered a responsible act of brushfire prevention. I’m talking, of course, about excessive ear and nose hair. I bring this up because of a recent conversation I had with someone who wanted to express his opinion on…

Something.

To be honest, I can’t remember what it was because I couldn’t overlook the fact that he appeared to have a chinchilla stuck in each ear.

I tried to be a good listener.

Tried to look reflective.

At least until I realized saliva had pooled in my open mouth.

As you might expect, this person was a male over the age of 40, which seems to be about the time follicles in men’s ears and noses begin producing hair at an alarming rate. I say alarming because I’ve heard of men purposely growing enough ear and nose hair to make a comb over. Continue reading

Study reveals male pattern baldness doesn’t include ears

If you are a male over 40, chances are your ear hair has grown 2 centimeters since you read this.

If you are a male over 40, chances are your ear hair has grown 2 centimeters since you read this.

What I’m about to tell you may be considered vain. On the other hand, it could also be considered a responsible act of brushfire prevention. I’m talking, of course, about excessive ear and nose hair. I bring this up because of a recent conversation I had with someone who wanted to express his opinion on…

Something.

To be honest, I can’t remember what it was because I couldn’t overlook the fact that he appeared to have a chinchilla stuck in each ear.

I tried to be a good listener.

Tried to look reflective.

At least until I realized saliva had pooled in my open mouth.

As you might expect, this person was a male over the age of 40, which seems to be about the time follicles in men’s ears and noses begin producing hair at an alarming rate. I say alarming because I’ve heard of men purposely growing enough ear and nose hair to make a comb over. Continue reading