I know The Box was absent yesterday, but I have a note from my mother

After my deadline, fighting the flu, preparing for my firefighter skills test and the likelihood of vomiting..
After my deadline, fighting the flu, preparing for my firefighter skills test and the likelihood of vomiting.
Much like when I was in middle school, and told Mrs. Taskmaster I didn’t have my homework assignment or a written excuse because “my dog ate my mom,” I have an equally ridiculous excuse as to why this week’s edition of The Box wasn’t posted yesterday.

For those who follow me on Twitter (and if you don’t, who can blame you), they know I was dealt a “Perfect Storm” of events yesterday, much like the movie with George Clooney, except as a really bad sequel that Clooney turned down in favor of the lead in Gigli 2.

My “Perfect Storm” scenario included the following plot twists:

1) A feverish, sneeze-inducing form of Influenza
2) An early newspaper deadline because of,
3) A mandatory hands-on firefighter skills test to take

My objectives were to arrive at work by 5 a.m. and meet a 1 p.m. deadline, then hurry to the fire station, where I would take a five-evolution skills test in full gear and breathing apparatus, all while trying not to sneeze uncontrollably into my face mask, thus obscuring my view while simultaneously resembling something from the movie Alien, thereby setting off a chain reaction of vomiting by my fellow firefighters inside their face masks. Continue reading I know The Box was absent yesterday, but I have a note from my mother