For those who follow me on Twitter (and if you don’t, who can blame you), they know I was dealt a “Perfect Storm” of events yesterday, much like the movie with George Clooney, except as a really bad sequel that Clooney turned down in favor of the lead in Gigli 2.
My “Perfect Storm” scenario included the following plot twists:
1) A feverish, sneeze-inducing form of Influenza
2) An early newspaper deadline because of,
3) A mandatory hands-on firefighter skills test to take
My objectives were to arrive at work by 5 a.m. and meet a 1 p.m. deadline, then hurry to the fire station, where I would take a five-evolution skills test in full gear and breathing apparatus, all while trying not to sneeze uncontrollably into my face mask, thus obscuring my view while simultaneously resembling something from the movie Alien, thereby setting off a chain reaction of vomiting by my fellow firefighters inside their face masks.
I’m happy to say I achieved my objectives. Sadly, however, it came at the expense of yesterday’s edition of The Box.
WAIT! Even from here, with my congested nasal passages, the outcry of disappointment is tangible, wafting through the air like cheap fireworks tossed into a portable commode. What does this mean, other than my fever is spiking? It means this week The Box, much like the lining of my nose, will be making a rare, Wednesday afternoon appearance! That’s right! I’m losing the lining in my nostrils! So until then (and by “then” I mean when today’s edition of The Box is posted) thank you for your patience, which I know is nothing to sneeze at.