Or maybe you do.
In which case you may want to consider folding up this newspaper right now and going in for an adjustment.
But, unless you mistakenly informed readers that last month was “National Correct Posture Month” when, in fact, we’re all free to slouch until May, I’m guessing you’ve never gotten an e-mail from Angela Kargus, Communications and Public Relations Manager for the ACA.
There are two things I know about Angela:
1) She is very nice.
2) She probably has excellent posture.
I also know she read my column a couple of weeks ago. As Angela pointed out, it proclaimed “National Correct Posture Month” in the wrong month, and provided recommendations on how to avoid slouching that Angela informed me were “outdated.”
It’s true. Even as a trained professional, I somehow overlooked the more recent recommendations made specifically for today’s slouching public. Because of this, I’d like to apologize. Particularly to those of you who, based on my recommendation, are being followed around by someone with a bullhorn yelling “SLOUCHER!” whenever you slump your shoulders.
I think Angela and I would agree you should stop this immediately because, to be quite honest, it’s possible you have more important issues to deal with than posture.
Not that posture isn’t important.
It’s EXTREMELY important.
In fact, I’m posturing right now.
My point is, as a journalist, there’s nothing more important than credibility. Except for maybe having Spellcheck. That’s why when we in the news media make a mistake, we hold our heads high. We step forward. And we admit, through an error in judgement, we hired James Frey as a fact checker.
However, this wasn’t the case when it came to the errors in my “slouching” column. No. I’m taking the burden of that mistake squarely on my shoulders because that’s what columnists with good posture do.
First, because I have no one to blame but myself. And second because, thanks to the ACA website, I now have the name of a good chiropractor. Though I have not gone to him yet, his nickname “Dr. Thunder Thumbs” certainly has me intrigued. So intrigued that I haven’t slouched in nearly a week — and that includes while sleeping or using the commode, which I once did simultaneously. But that was a long time ago in a friend’s dormitory.
I would like to say that even though I was wrong about “National Correct Posture Month,” National Spinal Health Month is fast approaching
And so is Auto Battery Safety Month. My suggestion is to actively participate in both by combining the two and hooking a pair of jumper cables to your…
On second thought, I’m going to check and make sure this idea meets the approval of both the United Spinal Association and someone from Die Hard.
That said, I’d like to thank Angela and the ACA for straightening me out on the whole posture thing.
(You can write to Ned Hickson at firstname.lastname@example.org, or at the Siuslaw News at P.O. Box 10, Florence, OR 97439.)