As many of you know, last week I went to the printer at work, which I often do, and expected to find a copy of my potential Pulitzer-winning column on the dangers of battery-operated toilet plungers. Instead, I found a nearly blank piece of paper with the following three words:
trust and obey.
Yeah, pretty creepy.
Being a person grounded in hard journalistic reality and not prone to wild speculation, I quickly deduced it was a message from Lawrence Fishburn, trying to reach me from somewhere within the Matrix. And because many of you are also realists, the consensus was that I should prepare for my surroundings to dissolve into a series of green number codes at any moment.
That moment never happened of course! Hahahhaha!
The laughter stopped just a few minutes ago when I received the email above, forwarded to me on behalf of my editor, who — as you can see at the top — naturally assumed it was for me. That is a standard procedure here at the Siuslaw News.
“I dunno. Looks weird.”
“Get it to Ned right away.”
So once again, I’ll be waiting for the newsroom to dissolve into green numbers code…