No, that’s not a photo taken inside an empty office at Chernobyl. It’s what I look at every time I glance up from my desk in the newsroom here at the Siuslaw News. It is The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance). As any reader of this weekly feature will tell you, it is a shrine, a journalistic Mecca, a print media Wailing Wall to which we make a pilgrimage each Tuesday and, with deep introspection, ask ourselves that eternal question:
How did THAT make it into print without someone noticing?!?
The Door has been a work in progress since the early 1970s, when journalists began taping examples of the best and worst headlines, typos, cutlines and correspondence to it as a way to 1) keep a healthy perspective on what we do, and 2) keep The Door from falling apart since the budget won’t allow for a new one. In addition to its significance as a sentinel of journalistic history, it also contains enough tape, paste and glue to withstand the blast radius of a backfiring 1967 Volkswagen Beatle.
Which brings us to this week’s entry. However, as always, we must first join hands and, in a monotoned voice similar to Kristen Stewart’s audition tape, repeat the following mantra:
The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.
Today, we have two examples of how a single missing letter can change the entire meaning of something otherwise well-intentioned.
Our first piece is an open letter to the community, inserted into 6,000 copies of our newspaper, inviting them to attend an open house to meet the college’s new president.
Thanks to a slight typo, it was the largest turnout for an open house in school history…
Our second offering is from 1998, when District 10 Oregon State Representative Alan Brown sent a blanket “Letter to the Editor” to every newspaper in his district, thanking the voters for re-electing him to his position.
His closing paragraph — though certainly unintentional — could be one of the most truthful statements to come out of our state’s capitol in decades.
No wonder he got re-elected…
Ned's Blog 
LOVE the Kristin Stewart dig….made my day. (and also made me glad I had not begun eating my muffin!!)
Lol! Thanks, Susan! Yeah, you gotta watch those muffins…
I like your theme this morning, Ned. Horny issues and teats. 😉
Yeah, it as kind of a package deal; couldn’t include one without the other…
Package?
:: blink blink ::
A trifecta! 😛
Not only is the first example a typo, but “teats and entertainment” is also a redundancy issue 🙂
Lol! But you know, it seems to be the one redundancy no one complains about 🙂
These invariably make me giggle at my desk.
Glad to hear that, Ross. I really pulled out all the stops with “teats” and “horny.” I’m nothing if not classy 🙂
Way to hit me where I live.
Lol! In know my audience 🙂
Could those typos be deeply Freudian slips illustrating the American dream in education and politics? Or just a good dirty snigger? 🙂
Haha! It’s hard to say. I didn’t attend the open house, so there could’ve been entertaining teats I just don’t know about. As for Mr. Brown, it’s entirely possible he was just using that “transparency” thing we keep hearing about 😉
I love Tuesdays with the door! Also, I saw the word “probe” in 2 headlines the other day and it made me snort! (In laughter, not with illicit drugs).
Hahaha! I told myself, “If I can help just one person recognize a good ‘probing,’ it will have been worth it.” Thank you for being that person.
Wow. If those were actually written by secretaries, they were totally fired after that.
Or given a raise…
The boor is a deacon, dragging us into the jagged rocks of journalism.
My next family vacation will be to Wh-Oregon.
You know, I honestly wait in anticipation of your turn of phrase on my mantra. Which, I swear, only SOUNDS homosexual…
The goatee doesn’t help that image, but we all know you’re not even curious, not even in anticipation. And I swear, saying “we” only SOUNDS like I am Sybil.
I anticipate your anticipation.
OK, now I’m beginning to question my sexuality… oh, wait. That’s just a Sharpie in my pocket. Scratch that. Never mind, I’ll scratch it myself. All this anticipation has me flustered.
That’s remarkable. Pass me a tissue, please.
I should mention that it was the Wide Tip, not the Fine Point, which explains the confusion. Not to put too fine a point on it.
I won’t needle you. Your size of marker is your own business.
I’d say I get your point, but that just makes it more awkward.
I was going to back out of this one, butt then someone would be sticking it to me.
This is a sticky situation if I have ever seen one.
I understand. Stay away from the soap bar and I’ll see you when you get out.
Wait, that only SOUNDS…..
… like a prison flashback? Shake it off, man. The flashback, I mean.
MOMMY!! Oh wait, that’s a different flashback.
(Tangents R Us)
LOL! UNCLE! Wait, just to clarify, that’s not a flashback.
*heh heh heh heh*
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
That is all.
Excellent. Right to the point. They could learn a lesson or two from you…
Why thank you! *amb curtsies* Tell them I accept payment in caffeine, chocolate, and of course, margaritas.
I’ll let them know about the caffeine and chocolate. Too many margaritas could lead to something involving teats and entertainment…
Good point. Are you available for hiring as a manager/publicist/damage control guru?
Possibly as a damaged guru.
i think you could some up these 2 stories with one short phrase – ‘teats and ass.’.
Brilliant!!!!
well, not too brilliant when ‘some’ stands in for ‘sum.’ ) see above –
We know what you meant. It just works out that way sum times.
apparently i’m suffering from a bad case of dim sum )
lol! I’d wait to open your fortune cookie if I were you.
Hey I missed that the first time so you are in good company
Damn it. Where were you when I was coming up with today’s headline!!
Ohhh Alan Brown…No girl likes it when you lay things out like that, and apparently neither do other men. LOL! Great way to end a Tuesday!
Teats AND entertainment? Now that’s hospitality at its finest.
I lived in the Deep South for about 10 years, and even Southern hospitality can’t touch teats and entertainment. Actually, considering there’s a large retirement community here, I wouldn’t WANT to touch these teats, no matter how entertaining. But it’s the thought that counts, right?
A teat is of no sexual interest, as they are officially descriptive of animal mammary exit holes. Now nipples, well, that’s another story…unless you like teats for another reason altogether. But that is a slippery slope, heh heh.
I agree. Eve hamsters have teats. What’s sexy about that? Feel free not to answer that…
Teats’ are sweet treats? My teats meet my feet? (they about did when I was pregnant). Turn down the heat to see the teat peek? I could keep going you know…..
I think I remember those from Dr. Seus, right?
THE MAN! Luv the Seuss! My best work is Seussian in nature…..but, to answer the question, only if Dr S lived in Universe B, where up is down and right is wrong and Dr S is a pedophile.
Haha! Hey, he did write “Hop on Pop…”
Ewww….(snort). He can also Lick 30 Tigers.
“I won’t eat these green eggs and teats, Sam I Am, not in those seats or these seats, not with beets, not with my feets.” It’s coming back to me now…
HAHAHAHA. Brilliant. Checkmate. You are one of a kind….