While walking through the carnival today, I saw this “help wanted” sign posted in the elephant ear booth. The sign makes it clear that the standards for this position are high. But don’t worry. For those with a blood alcohol above .30, there’s always The Scrambler or Squirrel Cages operator position.
Higher standards for being a carnie
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Ned's Blog 
Ned,
Le Clown accepts carnies from all walks of life. Even you.
Le Clown
Thanks, Le Clown. If I necessary, I hope I can put you down as a reference. Once I sober up.
Dammit….I’m out!!
Ah-HAA! I KNEW you weren’t 18 yet!
I could only lie for so long. 🙂
(I guess if I were to make my being under 18 more believable I should have used many more ummms and likes in my sentence structure.)
Chee-ah, like totally. 😉
I used to work with a guy that had ridiculously short arms for his body…..T-Rex short!! We actually played golf with him once and I’ll never forget the image it burned in my mind. From that moment on, his game was called “Carnie Golf”.
I will never hear or read the word Carnie without thinking about him. Sad, but true.
Perhaps you should have considered miniature golf? 😉
LMAO…..why did we never think of that?? Although it was akin to watching “Dorf on Golf” when my buddy did his imitation of Carnie Golf.
It still is a form of flattery, is it not?
As long as he doesn’t know, sure! Haha!
LOL BEST photo I’ve seen all day! Who knew there were such strict rules for being a carnie!? You need a SS card AND an ID? Whatever happened to the good ol’ days when all you needed was a jug of moonshine and a shoddy trenchcoat?!
I blame it on Homeland Security.
….well crap. Me no speaka no englia yoquirotacobell. Damn Jose. And I think I lost my id somewhere too. You know carnies want cash money. Wait…I might be thinking of another cash up front business….
I don’t think you have to be sober OR 18 for that business…
Right? But….I didn’t think you had to have an ID or a SS or actually be sober to be a carnie. Your friend Jason is playing jokes on you…LOL
Lol! That sounds like something he’d do! The prank part, not the male prostitute part…
I wouldn’t want to live the life of a carnie but I am very curious about the people who do. I actually met a carnie at a bus station, a year or so ago, and pestered the poor man until he talked with me. I like to believe there is a compelling story in every person I meet, in spite of the fact that experience has proven otherwise. Apparently, I am a slow learner.
It’s been a while since I’ve had to apply for a job. I didn’t realize sobriety had become a prerequisite for employment. Thanks very much for keeping me apprised of expectations in the world beyond the flat screen.
Yes, the job market has apparently gotten pretty competitive, even in the elephant ear manufacturing industry. Being sober gives you an advantage over other, potentially more qualified applicants now.
hahahahahahaha! Really, I should pay you for making me laugh; a rare talent on a miserable Monday morning.
Hey look I’ve been a carnie, well a corporate carnie that is, and I can say that if any of you have interest in a carnie job and meet all of these requirements with the exception of being sober, you can come work with me.
http://thecubicleviews.com/2012/07/24/doing-time-as-a-carnie/
PS-do you only need to be sober when you apply or like all of the time? If that latter, that’s kinda hard in my experience.
The more I look at that sign, the more I think it means you only have to be sober if you’re 18 or older. If you’re 17 or younger, you can work there intoxicated.
That’s the exact job I was looking for back in high school. Yet another missed opportunity.
Stupid alcohol! Now who will appreciate my scarf juggling. Oh well, off to Vegas.
LOL! Good plan. Maybe you can open for Clay Aiken?
That is one responsible Carnival! hahaha. I have yet to see a non-questionable sober person operating the rides at the Fair here in Miami.
We’re a classy bunch here in Oregon. We don’t just let ANY questionable person run potentially hazardous thrill rides. They may look like serial killers, but at least here you know they are sober.
hahahah. . . I love the fact that they underlined the word “sober” too!!
Apparently, that’s the most important criteria. Who knew?
Especially Friday through Sunday, I would not qualify for this job! lol Monday through Thursday is questionable also.
Haha! At least you’re honest. That should count for something.
The Carnival Industry has become so conservative.
What’s next? Can’t operate Pharaoh’s Fury if you’re high??
Exactly. Or the Scrambler just because you’re sniffing glue? I totally hear you. The best ride I ever had at the carnival when I was a kid was when the guy operating the Ring of Fire walked off to get his fix. That was the best hour of my life!
You submitted your application? I would think it might be a promotion.
I already work at a circus — clowns, fire breathers (after lunch), tight rope walking, a ringmaster — and no rules about drinking. Why would I leave that? Although the free elephant ears are hard to turn down.
You would have a shot at the bearded lady position. Once you’re on staff, getting the cushy jobs is usually easier.
I did note that the requirement is that you APPLY sober. Once you are hired, apparently that requirement is no longer important, even when dealing with hot oil.
I’m hoping to work my way up to washing the elephant lady, which is a full-time position. That, I would definitely have to do drunk. And by “do,” I mean washing…
Only the elephant man can “do” the elephant lady. I’m not qualified, either. My describes me as a quality guy, not a quantity guy. That there is reason to be proud.
Hey, I’d be proud too, but don’t rub my nose in it.The elephant woman already tried that.
Quit pooping on the carpet and she’ll quit rubbing your nose in it.
The last few comments have proved how quickly things go south. Which, well, ……
When she dropped her robe and said she wanted to introduce me to “Argentina,” I couldn’t help but make a mess…
Evita the Elephant Lady. I won’t cry for her. But I bet you did.
Oh and UNCLE.
Fine…That’s all I wanted; that much to ask for.
OK. Time in. UnUncle.
Oh, and Thank God! I wasn’t prepared to go any further south.
♫ Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow ♫
I must have gone to the bathroom during that part of “Evita,” Uncle Henry…
That’s the part where Evita meets Doctor Zhivago.
I must’ve gotten back right after that, when all the cats start coming out and singing “Mammaries.”
That part was tittilating.
It’s the ONLY part I remember, really.
There was another part?
Yes, but it was at the end.
I should clarify; It was the big end finale.
There were Kardashians in that movie?
That one was just Kim and Ray J, singing Queen’s “Fat Bottom Girl.”
I saw them sing that with Ellen on her show.
“GET ON YOUR DIKES AND RIDE!!!”
I wonder if anyone reads these comments?
What comments?
Fortunately, paint and methamphetamines don’t cause insobriety, otherwise the traveling carnival industry would grind to a halt like a poorly maintained carousel
With my luck, that would be in front in my house.
god there is just something about the carnies, they live a rough and tumble life on the road, no one to answer to, love that there are standards. – when i was 12 and my sister 13 i remember going to the local carnival over and over just to gaze at the tilt a whirl guys. we imagined them as macho cowboys. most manly group of ‘men’ we’d ever laid eyes on. apparently we lived lives that were a bit sheltered…
You guys must’ve gone crazy when the hot train hobos came through town, glistening with sweat and smelling of diesel fumes and Colt 45. Talk about macho cowboys 😉
we lived a pretty quiet suburban existence, this was the most exciting thing to happen in our area each year. bring on the hobos!
Hahaha! Word is spreading through the hobo network as we speak.