In my email this morning were 15 messages from “Psychic Source” offering me 50% off their online psychic readings. If they were REALLY psychic, wouldn’t they already know I don’t want their crap?
I know I’m not psychic, but…
I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity... View all posts by Ned's Blog
44 thoughts on “I know I’m not psychic, but…”
Ned, I gotta know, do you used VO5 hairspray for men on that gorgeous mane of yours? You always seem so perfectly coiffed. I am asking this because: 1. I am not psychic. 2. Because I am not tall enough to see in your bathroom window. 😉
Lol! Premature baldness is definitely NOT a trait in the Hickson lineage 🙂 Aside from a little Suave gel and some hair spray, I don’t do much to it. I get razzed at the fire station about it, but only because most of them are going bald 😉
i feel inspiration: mane vs bald and the merits of both
It’s definitely a draw with benefits to both, I’m sure. As someone once told me, “Less hair to style but more face to wash.” Always glad to inspire 😉
Hair spray is highly flammable, as I’ve seen the results some big 80’s banged hair, teamed with half a can of Aqua Net and one of those cheap Pump Stop lighters can have on a ‘do!! lol
Hahaha! As much as they’d like to tell me they lost their hair fighting fires, I know better. But I make sure my hair is inside my helmet and shroud, just in case!
Mine were all for penis enlargement…I think someone’s been talking
Lol! For some reason I knew that. Maybe I AM psychic? 😉
Can I say, Fat Bottom Girl just read my mind. That’s all.
I wonder if SHE works for Psychic Source…?
Either way…she’s damn good!
Maybe the messages were meant for the person who’s reading your email, you know, to help them keep up with your passwords.
That’s great; another reason to be paranoid…
Psychic Source should meet my husband. Whenever anyone asks him if he’s read his horoscope, he always says, “We Scorpios don’t believe in that crap.”
Lol! My wife’s a Scorpio, and she’s optimistically skeptical.
Good point! Maybe they need to go back to school…
That’s my prediction as well 😉
Sorry about about that. I thought I gave your email address to PSYCHO Source. My bad.
No worries, Henry. Unfortunately, it’s an all too common mistake.
I will sign you up for Psycho Source. It’s worth it for the free Ginsu knives.
Just don’t use them in the shower.
Do you have pencils stuck in your ceiling?
… You were part of the military’s “astral projection” project, weren’t you…
Yes, and I was crappy at it.
Either way, thank you for your efforts to wipe out the enemy.
Or maybe they knew that if they send you 15 messages, you’ll have another topic to write a blog post about…
Damn, you’re almost as good as the Psychic Friends Network.
And unlike them, I can give you 60% off.
That settles it. You’re 60% better than they are.
Think my old man would rather have the psychics pestering him than the Viagra ‘doctors’ … he’s beginning to get a complex. Think yourself lucky …
With my luck, my psychic will say, “I see Viagra in your future.”
Good point. Maybe THEY should invest in some magic 8 balls. I’ve been perplexed lately as to WHY I receive almost daily emails from a company that is pimping out lonely married women that would like some discreet fun…
“Ask Again Later.”
Perhaps you have another super power you have yet to tap into? I’ll have the spirits start making your cape. 😉
I can’t wait! Maybe something with a big question mark on the back? I’ll have to take out the Riddler first, though 😉
I’m not psychic so I have to ask this question…where do you get that cool Mr. Kotter Roman head pedestal pen holder thing over your right shoulder?
And to answer your question, yes I am odd. But, then you already knew that didn’t you? 😉
Hahaha! Yes I knew that, which is an attribute in my book 😉
As for the pedestal pen holder thing, it’s actually a ceramic piece a reader made and sent in. That’s my head (I was younger then) on top of a roman-style column. The piece is called “Ned’s Column.” It just so happens the pen I signed my first book contract with sits perfectly on it, so I keep it there so I won’t lose it. Kind of like my head in general.
I’ll Tweet you a photo of it — it’s pretty cool…!
It’s awesome. All I have on my desk is a baseball that I like to throw at coworkers that piss me off.
It’s well worn.
I’m familiar with the satisfaction of a well-thrown knuckle ball… 😉
Or…even without the ball.
Hahaha! I keep a jar of pigs knuckles at my desk for that very reason.
You never cease to surprise me.
That’s exactly what people say after getting tagged by a pig knuckle.
I’ll send you a jar! 😉