… This Just In…

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…TAT-tat-tat-TAT-TAT-tat-tat-TAT…

[Breaking News: from another strangely irrelevant moment in our news room…]

Editor: “It says here that this year’s Holistic and Psychic Fair is going to be…”

Me: WAIT!! Don’t tell me….

[An anticipatory silence in the newsroom]

Me: “… Sorry β€” I got nothin'”

Editor: “Just for that, it’s your assignment now.”

Me: “Somehow, I knew that.”

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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

112 thoughts on “… This Just In…”

                1. Ned. Steve and I have slept together. Even Steve can’t publicly deny it. My husband knows. I even think other people saw us.

                2. So let me get this straight, both of you crapped in a urinal together. I can’t sleep with either of you. In fact, I may never sleep again…

                3. There may even be photographic proof, which may accomplish the seemingly impossible task of scarring you even more.

                  Of course, I did forget that we slept together, or at least, Sandy slept and I wrote drew a smiley face across her butt cheeks in permanent marker.

                4. I know this is a little off subject, but it reminded me; I had a Furby once.

                  For some reason, it just seemed important to mention…

                5. Very true. In fact, I never knew where the batteries on my Furby were supposed to go. Thanks to you and Sandy, I think I know where to look now.

                6. A) We did not crap in a urinal together. He fauxpeed and I fauxpood and my mom took the picture.
                  B) You could totally sleep with me. Look outside your window.
                  C) My furby only burps.

                7. A) Your Mom sounds very understanding
                  B) My office window has an air conditioner stuck in it, so I can’t see you but you could talk to me and sound like Darth Vader
                  C) I’ve heard it called a “barking spider” but never a burping Furby.

                8. Out of kindness and courtesy I will post a blog so you two can blow up my comment sextion, and possibly improve my Klout score.

  1. I have been to a psychic fair. I sat down and got a reading. He said a man was going to come into my life who I was going to really like, but I was going to feel like putting a boot up his a**. Hmmm. . .that’s every boyfriend I’ve ever had, how did he know???

      1. I am sitting here at my desk laughing my a** off on that one Ned!! Yes, it was kind of like the brains/trains joke. . . . when I said I wanted winners, he thought I said wieners. . . .story of my life!!

No one is watching, I swear...

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