To celebrate the completion of my book, I decided to contract what I’m pretty sure was ebola

My whereabouts since Saturday night. Well, here and kneeling in front of the commode. (No photo available)
My whereabouts since Saturday night. Well, here and kneeling in front of the commode. (No photo available)
After completing the final draft of my book on Saturday, I decided “What better way to celebrate than to contract a stomach virus?!?” Between Saturday night and this morning, I have spent equal time between laying in bed and kneeling at the commode until, Sunday morning, I hurled up what I believe was a penny I swallowed when I was seven. This morning I feel a little better, in that I have kept half a donut down. I had every intention of posting Flashback Sunday yesterday, but I couldn’t get my iPad to balance on the rim of the commode. Because of this, I’ll be posting a special Flashback Monday edition this evening, more than likely from a seated position in bed β€” which is a real improvement from most positions I’ve been in during the last 48 hours.

To everyone who left comments inquiring as to my whereabouts, I appreciate your concern and am comforted to know, should I ever come up missing, it will not go unnoticed by my wordpress friends. At least, not until Sunday.

Seriously, thanks for asking πŸ˜‰

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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

56 thoughts on “To celebrate the completion of my book, I decided to contract what I’m pretty sure was ebola”

    1. Haha! Actually, we have some of his donuts sitting on the table πŸ™‚ But that was after the fact. I’m definitely feeling better and have been drinking a lot of juice and water. You know, so I can get back to drinking the good stuff πŸ˜‰

    1. I have to agree with Ross. It was either that or all the time you spent in intimate contact with the multiple user mouse at the library. Ick. And I definitely suspect weird finger guy…

    2. I think it was the guy with the missing digit. He was also in front of me at the salad bar. I ate what I thought was a garbanzo bean. Now I’m not so sure…

    1. No, I got sick immediately and built up a tolerance over time. I think it may be a premonition about how my book is going to do once it’s published.

  1. oh you poor, sweet man! i hope u have a nice cool cloth for your head and a fluffy pillow to rest it on. please get better soon. its no fun trying to type through a haze of blood as every orifice tries to act as a funnel for your internal organs to liquefy and expel themselves, through. gentle hugs and hair stroking…”soft kitty, warm kitty…Little ball of furrrrr…”

    1. Lol! Yes, the bed has been its own Hot Zone for the last two days, but not in the way I’d like. Thanks for the kind, descriptive thoughts. Now… where’s my soft kitty…

  2. Deceased authors have better sales in any event! You are now a practicing commodian.

    If you still have problems writing from the john, check out the latest from Poison Apple: The iPuke

    Get feeling better, so you can make the rest of us nauseous with your writing.

    In the meantime, I’ll be up North here, hacking up an obvious case of BC TB.

    1. I actually thought about how my dying could elevate the book’s marketing potential. Then I thought, “Eh, I’ll just cut off an ear.”

      I settled for just clipping my toe nails.

  3. I must have been celebrating the completion of your book early when I had one of these back in May. It’s comforting to know there was a reason why I suffered through that experience: your book completion. Congratulations! I look forward to buying it and/or reading it.

    Maybe someday soon you can do an interview with that penny you puked up, I bet it has a story to tell!

    When I’m sick like that, I tell people “My bowels are full of something, and it ain’t grace or mercy!” The Bible is a good reference for every aspect of life.

    1. Thank you for channeling my pain, Paul. And yes, I refer to The Bible often, particularly as a parent. For example, “Holy crap, what were you thinking when you poured Shredded Wheat down the toilet?”

  4. I know you are on the opposite side of good ‘ol Mercia here but everyone is sick! The good news is your still witty, even after an extended period of time tossing your cookies. Welcome back.
    But most importantly Congrats on the book!!

  5. Here’s a thought to cheer you up, Neddles … you still look like a filum star … even when your insides are down the drain. Get well soon …

    And I must tell you I am seriously hacked off that you can still make me laugh even when you have a communicable disease.

    Is it anything like necrotising fasciitis? I once commented on that disease having such a peculiar name and my son said, Well, it’s better than calling it β€˜Bob’. Strange boy!

    1. Your son sounds strangely brilliant! Glad I can still make you laugh even with a high fever and no stomach content πŸ˜‰ It’s back to work today, so wish me luck. Actually, you should probably wish my fellow reporters luck…

    1. I’m so sorry to hear that, Lynette. Lots of fluids and light foods like dry toast and crackers until you can keep it down. And for those of you who are reading this, I swear she didn’t get it from me…

    1. Thanks, Dadicus! My humor can run a little sick anyway, so it’s not much of a stretch πŸ˜‰ Definitely glad to have the final draft done and ahead of schedule. A rarity for me!

  6. glad you are starting to feel better. That I will eat a half of donut stage but not brave enough to eat a whole one. I know that stage all to well. Here’s to you being a 100% by today! Hugs!

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