To celebrate the completion of my book, I decided to contract what I’m pretty sure was ebola
My whereabouts since Saturday night. Well, here and kneeling in front of the commode. (No photo available) After completing the final draft of my book on Saturday, I decided “What better way to celebrate than to contract a stomach virus?!?” Between Saturday night and this morning, I have spent equal time between laying in bed and kneeling at the commode until, Sunday morning, I hurled up what I believe was a penny I swallowed when I was seven. This morning I feel a little better, in that I have kept half a donut down. I had every intention of posting Flashback Sunday yesterday, but I couldn’t get my iPad to balance on the rim of the commode. Because of this, I’ll be posting a special Flashback Monday edition this evening, more than likely from a seated position in bed — which is a real improvement from most positions I’ve been in during the last 48 hours.
To everyone who left comments inquiring as to my whereabouts, I appreciate your concern and am comforted to know, should I ever come up missing, it will not go unnoticed by my wordpress friends. At least, not until Sunday.
I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...
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56 thoughts on “To celebrate the completion of my book, I decided to contract what I’m pretty sure was ebola”
Get well soon Ned. I hope it wasn’t your own cooking 😉
Haha! Actually, we have some of his donuts sitting on the table 🙂 But that was after the fact. I’m definitely feeling better and have been drinking a lot of juice and water. You know, so I can get back to drinking the good stuff 😉
I have to agree with Ross. It was either that or all the time you spent in intimate contact with the multiple user mouse at the library. Ick. And I definitely suspect weird finger guy…
I think it was the guy with the missing digit. He was also in front of me at the salad bar. I ate what I thought was a garbanzo bean. Now I’m not so sure…
oh you poor, sweet man! i hope u have a nice cool cloth for your head and a fluffy pillow to rest it on. please get better soon. its no fun trying to type through a haze of blood as every orifice tries to act as a funnel for your internal organs to liquefy and expel themselves, through. gentle hugs and hair stroking…”soft kitty, warm kitty…Little ball of furrrrr…”
Lol! Yes, the bed has been its own Hot Zone for the last two days, but not in the way I’d like. Thanks for the kind, descriptive thoughts. Now… where’s my soft kitty…
I must have been celebrating the completion of your book early when I had one of these back in May. It’s comforting to know there was a reason why I suffered through that experience: your book completion. Congratulations! I look forward to buying it and/or reading it.
Maybe someday soon you can do an interview with that penny you puked up, I bet it has a story to tell!
When I’m sick like that, I tell people “My bowels are full of something, and it ain’t grace or mercy!” The Bible is a good reference for every aspect of life.
Thank you for channeling my pain, Paul. And yes, I refer to The Bible often, particularly as a parent. For example, “Holy crap, what were you thinking when you poured Shredded Wheat down the toilet?”
I know you are on the opposite side of good ‘ol Mercia here but everyone is sick! The good news is your still witty, even after an extended period of time tossing your cookies. Welcome back.
But most importantly Congrats on the book!!
I’d be glad to help. If you’re serious, drop me a line via my email. I also write for http://www.gliterarygirl.com, which is a website for — and about — writing and publishing. Check it out 🙂
Here’s a thought to cheer you up, Neddles … you still look like a filum star … even when your insides are down the drain. Get well soon …
And I must tell you I am seriously hacked off that you can still make me laugh even when you have a communicable disease.
Is it anything like necrotising fasciitis? I once commented on that disease having such a peculiar name and my son said, Well, it’s better than calling it ‘Bob’. Strange boy!
Your son sounds strangely brilliant! Glad I can still make you laugh even with a high fever and no stomach content 😉 It’s back to work today, so wish me luck. Actually, you should probably wish my fellow reporters luck…
I’m so sorry to hear that, Lynette. Lots of fluids and light foods like dry toast and crackers until you can keep it down. And for those of you who are reading this, I swear she didn’t get it from me…
Thanks, Dadicus! My humor can run a little sick anyway, so it’s not much of a stretch 😉 Definitely glad to have the final draft done and ahead of schedule. A rarity for me!
glad you are starting to feel better. That I will eat a half of donut stage but not brave enough to eat a whole one. I know that stage all to well. Here’s to you being a 100% by today! Hugs!
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Get well soon Ned. I hope it wasn’t your own cooking 😉
Lol! I don’t think it was food related. It was more like an alien species trying to have babies in my stomach.
Oh no!! I hope you get well soon! I hope you weren’t eating one of the biker man’s donuts! Rest up and remember… liquids, liquids, liquids 🙂
Haha! Actually, we have some of his donuts sitting on the table 🙂 But that was after the fact. I’m definitely feeling better and have been drinking a lot of juice and water. You know, so I can get back to drinking the good stuff 😉
😉 Oh the good stuff…. I hope you mean hooch and not coffee, we don’t want to worry people again with the lack of blinking.
Although I haven’t been scared away from coffee completely, the Good Stuff will always be clear, Russian and goes good with orange juice 😉
NICE! 🙂 Well get better soon so you celebrate appropriately 😀
How many times did your mother tell you: don’t lick the library books!
I have to agree with Ross. It was either that or all the time you spent in intimate contact with the multiple user mouse at the library. Ick. And I definitely suspect weird finger guy…
I feel like this is quickly developing into an episode of “House.”
I think it was the guy with the missing digit. He was also in front of me at the salad bar. I ate what I thought was a garbanzo bean. Now I’m not so sure…
Get better fast! I have tummy viruses. But, congrats on finishing the book!
Thanks Granny K! I’m hoping my illness has no connection with how my book will do 😉
good point! If I read it and start vomiting, I’m comin’ for ya….
Hahahaha! I’ll send you an air sickness bag ahead of time, just in case 😉
I am pretty sure that what you are experiencing is a delayed reaction from reading my blog.
No, I got sick immediately and built up a tolerance over time. I think it may be a premonition about how my book is going to do once it’s published.
Oh, so your book is a combo of humor and Karen Carpenter diet.
Or it could be a tumor.
Or the result of being tazed too many times in one day.
Is there such a thing as too many tazings?
I personally have never had enough, at least above the waist.
That goes without saying. Seriously. I wish you hadn’t.
Now that I look at my comment, I agree with you.
Or the side affects from an alien probe. Or from sleeping with your Bruce Jenner action figure.
Alien probe. Bruce Jenner. Let’s not split hairs…
Or hair plugs.
oh you poor, sweet man! i hope u have a nice cool cloth for your head and a fluffy pillow to rest it on. please get better soon. its no fun trying to type through a haze of blood as every orifice tries to act as a funnel for your internal organs to liquefy and expel themselves, through. gentle hugs and hair stroking…”soft kitty, warm kitty…Little ball of furrrrr…”
Lol! Yes, the bed has been its own Hot Zone for the last two days, but not in the way I’d like. Thanks for the kind, descriptive thoughts. Now… where’s my soft kitty…
😉
When you cough up Pinocchio, pictures are expected.
I just hope he comes out nose first. No lying.
Dang, you’re good even when you’re sick. Wait.. I should probably clarify that.. when you are PHYSICALLY sick.
Deceased authors have better sales in any event! You are now a practicing commodian.
If you still have problems writing from the john, check out the latest from Poison Apple: The iPuke
Get feeling better, so you can make the rest of us nauseous with your writing.
In the meantime, I’ll be up North here, hacking up an obvious case of BC TB.
I actually thought about how my dying could elevate the book’s marketing potential. Then I thought, “Eh, I’ll just cut off an ear.”
I settled for just clipping my toe nails.
As every good writer knows, save your clippings
I must have been celebrating the completion of your book early when I had one of these back in May. It’s comforting to know there was a reason why I suffered through that experience: your book completion. Congratulations! I look forward to buying it and/or reading it.
Maybe someday soon you can do an interview with that penny you puked up, I bet it has a story to tell!
When I’m sick like that, I tell people “My bowels are full of something, and it ain’t grace or mercy!” The Bible is a good reference for every aspect of life.
Thank you for channeling my pain, Paul. And yes, I refer to The Bible often, particularly as a parent. For example, “Holy crap, what were you thinking when you poured Shredded Wheat down the toilet?”
Moses said that to Aaron, right?
I believe it was Mary to a young Jesus, in one of the missing scrolls.
I know you are on the opposite side of good ‘ol Mercia here but everyone is sick! The good news is your still witty, even after an extended period of time tossing your cookies. Welcome back.
But most importantly Congrats on the book!!
I really appreciate that! And glad to know I wasn’t singled out with my cookie tossing 😉
I think i should ask you how to start writing a book?
I’d be glad to help. If you’re serious, drop me a line via my email. I also write for http://www.gliterarygirl.com, which is a website for — and about — writing and publishing. Check it out 🙂
thanks ned, i just saw the site i’ll be visiting the site every once in a while.. thanks.
You’re more than welcome. If you every have any questions, feel free to drop me a line.
Here’s a thought to cheer you up, Neddles … you still look like a filum star … even when your insides are down the drain. Get well soon …
And I must tell you I am seriously hacked off that you can still make me laugh even when you have a communicable disease.
Is it anything like necrotising fasciitis? I once commented on that disease having such a peculiar name and my son said, Well, it’s better than calling it ‘Bob’. Strange boy!
Your son sounds strangely brilliant! Glad I can still make you laugh even with a high fever and no stomach content 😉 It’s back to work today, so wish me luck. Actually, you should probably wish my fellow reporters luck…
I’m suffering with something similar myself …
I’m so sorry to hear that, Lynette. Lots of fluids and light foods like dry toast and crackers until you can keep it down. And for those of you who are reading this, I swear she didn’t get it from me…
brings ‘going viral’ to a whole new level
Hahahaha! As long as I don’t have a recurring cold sore, I’m OK with that.
Even in sickness you have a sense of humor–love it. Congrats on finishing the book!
Thanks, Dadicus! My humor can run a little sick anyway, so it’s not much of a stretch 😉 Definitely glad to have the final draft done and ahead of schedule. A rarity for me!
glad you are starting to feel better. That I will eat a half of donut stage but not brave enough to eat a whole one. I know that stage all to well. Here’s to you being a 100% by today! Hugs!
I was so ready for that whole donut! Thanks for the good wishes 😉