When I first heard about Volkswagen’s plans to bring back the Microbus, I immediately decided it would become our new family vehicle. That’s because no mode of transportation offers the same level of excitement as riding in a VW bus.
Except maybe riding in a runaway mine car.
But that was always part of its charm, just like the seat belts that had to be double-knotted to the door handle; the innovative heating system that blended engine heat and exhaust fumes with just enough outside air to keep occupants from blacking out; and a horn that never EVER worked — and when I say never-ever, I don’t just mean on mine. To this day, I have yet to meet anyone who has actually had (or witnessed the existence of) a working horn on a VW bus. Remember, this was way before side-impact bars, breakaway bumpers and so many air bags popping out of places that, last year alone, false sightings of Pamela Anderson rose by as much as 64 percent.
It used to be that comfort didn’t have to come at the expense of safety. In fact, the total cost of safety features on an average VW was about $6, which was the price of a bracket for mounting a spare tire on the front. Once it was put in place, that circle of inflated rubber became your vehicle’s most important safety feature.
Because, technically, it was the ONLY safety feature.
Admittedly, this doesn’t take into account the bus’s aerodynamic body design, which was modeled after a standard ACME brick, and therefore created enough wind resistance to keep the vehicle from climbing any grade steeper than, say…
A speed bump.
Because of all this, I was shocked to hear that Volkswagen described their new Microbus as “a vast improvement over the 1950s design.”
This is like saying you have somehow improved on the design of your favorite pair of old underwear; sure, maybe they’re not much to look at, and maybe the muffler’s worn out, but at least you know you’ll get a comfortable ride. At no time since parting with my own VW bus 14 years ago have I ever driven a more comfortable vehicle. And at no time since then have I managed to get in or out of a vehicle without resembling someone failing a yoga exam. That’s because the VW designers of old didn’t see a need to fill every available space with some kind of special feature. Aside from the essentials needed to steer, accelerate, shift gears and slow the vehicle down enough to allow the drag of your foot to bring it to a complete stop, there was nothing else getting in the way of your driving experience.
There was literally enough room in the front for a driver, a passenger and a pair of square dancers to all lock elbows and do-si-do, just as long as they avoided bumping the gear shift.
Not anymore.
You see, the new and improved Microbus has things like an on-board multiplex theater, a DVD/video game console and seven-inch TV screens built into the seats — which, by the way, are covered in white leather. How can THAT be an improvement over the old seats? At least when THOSE cracked they could be fixed with a strip of electrical tape that not only blended perfectly with the seat, but also matched many accents in the black plastic interior.
And if you think you can still save money by working on the engine yourself, you can forget about it. The new and improved version is a computerized, 5-speed, 230 horsepower V6 engine with “Tiptronic” clutch-less shifting. Now, I don’t know what all that means exactly, but I’m pretty sure that my standard VW repair kit, which consisted of gum, duct tape, a beer tab, three rolls of kite string and a copy of VW Repair for the Complete Idiot, won’t do me much good.
So, to set the record straight, we do not plan to buy a new Microbus. At least not until they introduce a new, UNimproved version of the 1950s design. I’d like to stir up a grass roots movement for this idea, so I’m asking anyone who’d like to see the return of the old-style of bus to please honk when they see me.
Of course, if you happen to actually be driving an old VW bus at the time, then you’ll just have to wave.
But don’t forget to swing your partner first.
(Ned is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. You can write to him at nhickson@thesiuslawnews.com, or at Siuslaw News, P.O. Box 10, Florence, Ore. 97439)
Ned's Blog 
Ned! Take all the photos from all of your blogs and with the exception of the one I provided you, This one is by far the most badass
I love this image. My first car was a VW bus, which I bought from uncle for $500. He had rolled it, so I used a bumper jack between the two front seats to pop the sides out again. I bought two red doors from the junk yard to replace the ones on my van, so it ended up being red, white and blue. I drove that sucker all the way to Texas when I left home. Best vehicle I ever had.
Will the new Microbus let you feel as if you are inside a refrigerator lying on its back with the shelves removed? Then I want no part of it!
Haha! Amen, brother!
When my ex and I lived in Germany VW actually came out with an “original” version of the Beetle. I had a Beetle in high school, and let’s just say it didn’t fare well during Kansas winters.
I can imagine the salt was pretty tough on the floorboards, but I bet that thing ran forever. I’ve had two busses, a Thing and a Carmen Ghia. All great cars, back in the day when you didn’t need diagnostics and a degree in computer science to fix your car. I actually used a piece from my key ring to fix my distributor shaft once. It was still in there when I sold the car three years later.
The worst part was the heater—doesn’t work well enough for cold Kansas winters. I had to scrape the INSIDE of my windows!! lol
LOL! My van was the same way. When I lived in Texas, I was driving to work one morning after a snow storm. I had one hand on the wheel and the other was stuck out the driver-side window, scraping the windshield with a hatchet. Good times 😉
The New Coke of automotive design?
Exactly! In either case, hard to swallow and just plain wrong.
Whew! For a second there, I thought you were saying your underwear wasn’t much to look at, had a worn out muffler (??), but still gave you a comfortable ride. Wait, maybe you were?
Putting that aside, I had a lovely ’57 beetle, in which the driver’s side seat supports had rusted out, providing me with a fully reclining seat. Sweet!
That IS sweet! I had a VW Thing convertible, which is still one of my favorite cars. You could take the doors off, fold the windshield down. If I’d had a reclining seat, it would have been the perfect car.
I like to think the non-functioning horn was a philosophical choice. And I like it.
Yes — a reminder of a more peaceful time, and before horns made it necessary to interrupt a drivers texting.
People are so RUDE! Once, someone honked at me just because I pulled in front of him. I mean, how could I have known he was even there, since I wasn’t looking?!
Well, now, there’s an upgrade I can support:make a horn that sends a polite text message letting the offender know s/he is in violation of your roadspace.
“that’s not okay, okay?” [quote from a mom to her screaming kids in a hospital waiting room] I think I prefer the airhorn approach. I guess I would have failed as a VW bus owner
I must applaud the excellent use of the word “false” in the same sentence with Pamela Anderson, who might just be a safety feature if you drive into a lake in your micro bus while giving her a lift to the enhancement specialist.
Considering the bus probably won’t sink with Pamela Anderson’s air bags, coud it be considered an amphibious vehicle?
With her Winnebagos, that would make it an RV.
Oh, like the kind you can rent and then drop off in another state when you’re done.
Exactly, except you don’t have to empty Pamela Anderson’s sewage tanks before you return her to the rental agency.
Remind me to never let you borrow my RV. When I get one.
♫ Oh black water keep on rollin’ ♫
Ladies and gentlemen, the defense rests.
Thank you. This proves that BS reigns.
And just another reason we’re friends.
LMAO!!!
It’s the new Hummer. Every super rich housewife will have one and it will be customized but I don’t mean with shag carpet on the floor and a bean bag in the back.
What’s the point of having a tricked out vehicle if it doesn’t have shag carpet on the floor and dash?
Exactly, some people just don’t get it.
god, i love the old ones. (not men, just the minibuses)
Thanks. That didn’t hurt my feelings at all… 😉
hey ned, no worries unless you are secretly in your 90’s, i think i’m older than you anyway, and that would make me a cougar. and yes,i like men who can be fixed with duct tape and gum as well.
Hmmm. I think “fixing” and “immobilizing” are two different things. By the way, I’ll be 47 later this month, so I think you’re probably safe from the cougar distinction 😉
indeed, you are correct, fixing is quite different . on the other hand, i’ll be 56 in november, so i think i have clearly earned the distinction )
Obviously the distinction wasn’t that clear.
….Cougar.
ah, it’s official now )
It would be ironic if after adding all these new gadgets, features, upgrades, add-ons and such, the horn still wouldn’t work on the new VW.
Absolutely. And even if I did buy one of the new VWs, I’d snip the horn wires anyway, just for nostalgia.
I always thought a mini-buss was something Mikie got. You have given me a whole new outlook on the driving experience. Do these things come in self retracting convertibles like the EOS ? Opps is this a family blog ? Sorry !
Hahaha! Glad I could give you a different perspective, although I don’t expect any offers to write for Car and Driver anytime soon!
Oh, and your “retracting convertible” was a nice, family-friendly way of expressing your, uh… lack of enthusiasm. Well done.
The hippies might like it if the DVD player came with a copy of The Grateful Dead Movie. Now that might be considered an improvement.
Haha! I have to agree with you on that. Just about anything with The Grateful Dead is an improvement! Thanks for reading.
I was stationed in Germany from 1962-1968, and those were good years(other than the COLD war thing)… I owned several VWs and one micro bus, and they were built like the German tanks…So simple, so durable. It seemed you just couldn’t stop em….
I haven’t tried any of the remakes, but doubt if they would hold a candle to the originals…
Without a doubt, depending on your point of view, there’s no improving on the original. I had a VW bus and Thing at the same time, and I could literally drop the engine out of one and put it in the other in 20 minutes by myself. And I’m no mechanic — it was just that easy. I also had a Carmen Ghia. I miss very one of them!
Sounds like an awesome VW bus. We had one also. Such great memories! Love your blog. Thanks for sharing. http://www.segmation.wordpress.com
It was great and I miss it. I know this will probably sound curmudgeony, but vehicles nowadays just don’t have the character they once had. They are so advanced we don’t understand them, and can’t make the same kind of connection with them we once could. Then again, maybe it’s just my junky car 😉 Thanks for stopping by!
I’m laughing… My daughter said to me the other day… Mom did you ever see a convertable VW bus? Yes a LONG time ago… Then she declaimed “can you get me one for when I get my
License? YEAH RIGHT!!!!
Smart girl — you’re going to have to watch that one;)
Yeah! It’s either that or an old baby blue ford pick up… Like really old. Vintage like… I’m a watching and listening…
Reblogged this on a jumble of passions and commented:
I’ve always wanted to go on a road trip in a VW bus!
We were happy owners of a Vanagon (the “brick” as opposed to the Microbus, which was the “loaf”). We had the backward facing seats in the second row, so it was the perfect vehicle for taking the kids skiing when they were small. We’d put a large plastic bin in the center to serve as a table at lunchtime. Terrific on the snow and great on unpaved roads. I drove on dozens of field trips and kids *loved* getting to ride in my car. Happy to share this one on Facebook.
The Loaf — I Love It! So much more accurate. Yeah, I heard good things about the Vanagon. The newer version… eh, not so much. I had a 1973 bus when the kids were little, and they still talk about “The Pickle Van” (It was green).
Born in ’87, I all but missed the VW van era, as in all but a rusted out specimen some neighbor owned when I was just a tiny kid. I never rode in it, but I can remember walking by it and looking in. It was just like a house in there – complete with a couch, a table, and a desk! If it had a bathroom, you could live in it. I used to fantasize about taking one all over the country like a portable playhouse. Just last month, somebody brought a beautifully restored VW bus to a local car show and brought back all those memories. That said though, I’d never want to own one, old or new. Too unsafe, too large, and just not maneuverable enough in the snow. Sigh. Where has all my youthful idealism gone?
Haha! The memories are important. As long as you keep those, the idealism isn’t too far gone 😉 And you’d be surprised by how maneuverable they really are. I took mine everywhere. Lived in it for a little while too, when I left home. Had a bed, refrigerator, stove, table… My home away from home.
Now you are really making me want one again! Think it would tow a Taurus?
Hahaha! Without question. Downhill, at least…
With the Taurus pushing it? I don’t imagine those old vans weighed much more than a Taurus.
I’d have to agree. Although downhill seems to be when a Taurus runs best.
Love! You bring back fond memories of my ’67 Bug. I once fixed the windshield wipers in a horrific rainstorm with a tiny thin key ring. And I am sure I still have my well worn copy of VW Repair for the Complete Idiot somewhere. I could never part with it. Greasy fingerprints and all.
Hahaha! Only with a VW could you do that! And that book is just fun to read, even if you’re not repairing a VW. Thanks for sharing your story!
@ fat bottom girl… Kansas has winters? Try WISCONSIN/Minnesota winters. Yet they are everywhere!!! Maybe you had a lemon?
@ list of x hey if it’s all tripped out? Hook up the iPhone and just play the annoying antique horn “ahoooooga” sound or better yet the Scottish bagpipes and blast it… Who needs a horn to work now? 🙂
I couldn’t handle the non-exsistant horn so I installed an airhorn in mine. And let be honest they never get it right when the bring back these classic cars. Something’s should just be left a lone. Thanks for sharing 🙂
I couldn’t agree more. And the air horn? Fantastic solution — as long as I’m not the one behind you!
I have never heard of the VW microbus. I only remember the navy blue VW navy blue beetle bug car that my Uncle Bob used to drive when I was about seven years old. I loved that car and called it “buggy car”. He used to take me and my father to town in that dear old car. Loved it and I like the new ones that are out.
That’s the only VW I didn’t have, the Beatle. Always wanted a convertible. Maybe someday. Even if it doesn’t have a working horn…
im sure this micro bus was very famous during the 60’s if you know wot i mean lol
More like infamous 🙂
FUN post… I will admit to a secret desire to drive a 1969 VW minibus cross country following the next Widespread Panic tour, but…. ahem. 😀
Reblogged this on muscleheaded and commented:
What could I possibly add to this ?
Magnificent blog I honestly would love to own a VW myself and also to have my friends and my dog on a short or even long adventure~
I’ve often thought a VW van would be the perfect vehicle for living in the post-apocalyptic zombie world. Sliding doors for quick entry/exit, lots of windows for viewing, and with the engine in the back you can ram your way through the hoards if necessary. Plus it would just look cool.
I agree very easy to hold lost of supply’s from food to ammo right below your feet.
The only down fall to this amazing man made vehicle is it gets pushed over by hordes then we have a problem!
Lol! We just can’t let them get close enough!
Lol! Looks like you know the zombie rules:D
Ill be following your blogs more often follow mine so we can engage in interesting topics are minds choose to think about!
I was never lucky enough to enjoy an old VW bus myself, but have been in love with the idea of having one ever since watching Little Miss Sunshine. Great post! Thanks for the laugh!
Thanks so much. And if you ever get the chance to own one, you’ll love it even more 😉
I’m really amazed by this blog. Tons of humorous posts and info on here. Thumbs up,
When we were kids, we used to associate these buses with terrorism. I guess we were profiling before it was frowned upon.
You were just ahead of your time. And I’m just glad I wasn’t driving mine through your neighborhood…
If I’m remembering correctly, it was the Back to the Future movie that cemented what the news footage from the middle east had already begun.
Hahaha! I remember that! I laid low for a while after that movie came out. And shaved my beard.
Haha! Ive always wanted a VW Bus, everytime I see one for sale I’m tempted to buy it!
Buy one — you won’t regret it. It’s the perfect new-mother vehicle. There’s even enough room to add a changing station/breakfast table.
I only had one for a few months at the end of the last century, and I’ve never had a vehicle since that could quite compare with it for comfort and enjoyment (those months never coincided with full winter). I keep promising myself that one day, a fully restored and slightly amended (ceramic core electric heating element!) 23-window Splitty will occupy my driveway.
I’m sorry to report that the horn DID produce noise, at the driver’s command, but the vehicle made up for this defect by slowly filling its oil pan with gasoline– inability to sort this out is what led to the regretful sale.
It sounds like your VW’s affliction was the same as mine. It was a sad day when they hauled her off, but I kept a few remnants that I hope to incorporate into another one some day — sort of like an organ donor. Thanks for sharing your story, and for keeping the dream alive 😉
Reblogged this on beatnikhiway and commented:
MOST COOL
That image is so cute. It looks like the bus should have a red Superman’s cape flapping out behind it while it leaps over potholes in a single bound.
That’s what I thought! There’s a special kind of character a VW bus has that you don’t find in any other vehicles. Plus, I think the fact that the horns don’t work just means they are polite in spirit 😉
Sounds to me like it would have been the perfect car to own (the old one). My mantra for several years now has been ” It’ll be fineeee”, so it’s a perfect match I say!
Haha! I truly believe most VWs — vans in particular — are fueled by their owner’s optimism.
Pretty much like all my (failed) projects! 😛
We share a common bond!
What a great post! I had a 1969 red bug. Loved that car. Started every time I turned the key. Engine purred like a sewing machine. Good times.
I truly think VW owners are more apt to have “I loved my car” stories than just about any other kind of car owner. At the opposite end of the spectrum: Gremlin owners.
My Aunt has an imitation VW camper bus that’s technically an ‘imporvement’ on the original. Ok maybe it doesn’t have moss growing out of the seat, but it also doesn’t set my soul afire and blare the kinks in my mental soundtrack. Practical things just aren’t the same, in the same way that although you think a strangers puppy is cute, you will never abandon your old, obese and hairy hound…. Anyway, as you can tell, really enjoyed the post!
If your car doesn’t have moss and inspire a mental soundtrack of The Kinks, it’s probably a Prius. Either way, your aunt sounds very cool. And you’re so right about the puppy analogy — there’s just something special about the character of something that isn’t always easy to have around or attractive. I suppose those are two good reasons my wife keeps me around 😉
35 years ago I took a road trip across Canada in a VW bus with someone I had met at a party a couple of weeks before. It was our transportation as well as our hotel room.
Sounds like you had the camper version like mine, and for some of the same reasons…
Shared with the family. We had a VW bus as out family vehicle when I was about 6 or 7 – all decked out for camping with the front bench seat converting into a set of bunk beds for my sister and I….those were the days
Sounds just like mine! Had the fridge, a table and a camp stove under one of the seats. I thought it was a port-o-potty at first. Glad I didn’t try to use it for that…
As much fun to read as it was fun to own – there should be a host of American Blues songs about the VW bus we all had before we became old and serious – or Portuguese Fado sung by Amalia about how the world is still a beautiful place even though our VW bus is no longer in it
I love it, David. To complete the circle, maybe we can include the country crossover folks with a Willie Nelson and Yanni duet..?
Is the vw bug that car where you can cook a turkey in the frunt seat then flashfreeze it in the back seat?
I think that was the Delorean from “Back to the Future.”
Awesome blog. You had me reminiscing about my bus. I travelled across Canada and down to New York and I can guarantee we never honked at anyone the whole way there and back 🙂 No heat, 1 seatbelt between us but the pop top beds were a deathtrap if you’d consumed a few too many adult beverages. Anyways, thanks for a great read, I’m glad I stumbled on your blog
Hahaha! Hey, thanks so much. I know exactly what you’re talking about with the pop-top bed — speaking as someone who woke up face down on the foldable table after rolling out of my bed. And yes, adult beverages were involved 😉
Love this post, I am reblogging on Facebook for my son-in-law who has a VW…held together with duct tape…and my son who wants one!
Thanks Joan 😉 I can think of worse things either of my sons could want. Like a Miata, for example! I hope they enjoy the post. Thanks for reading 😉
I definitely can say I have ridden in a VW bus/van and been ridden in one. Oh oh, off color joke, but a lot of people growing up in the 70’s have had that van rocking to the music!
If I said I didn’t know what you were talking about, my nose would grow 😉
This is very very very funny
Thanks, Chris — glad you enjoyed it
Very much so
Reblogged this on キャメロット英語塾 live and commented:
Good stuff
We’ve had a Kombi in the family for 30 years. The first one went up in flames one day when the engine started smoking and dad made the mistake of opening the cover to see what was wrong. The fire was visible from space. We learnt from that so whenever its replacement played up we walked away and left it alone for a day before atempting any bush mechanics. That one still works.
That’s fantastic! Say what you will, but you can’t create lasting memories like that with a Prius…
Or cook marshmellows.
Lol! I rest my case.
I had a VW bus in high school, orange on bottom tan on top. Loved that thing.
Mine was red, white and blue — two red doors from the junk yard. Loved mine, too. I also had an orange Thing. Crazy fun car I would have again in a heartbeat! Thanks for reading 😉
Never had a van, just a baby blue, ’66 Square Back that I dearly loved. Best car I’ve ever owned bar none and believe me I’ve had many cars. Been thinking at my age (so close to 70 it’s scarry) that I should get a van. I always wanted one. Maybe it’s time!
My parents had two Square Backs — one black and one blue. Called them The Bruise Brothers. Spent a summer traveling across the country in the blue one. Great cars. And yes, if you get the chance at a van, don’t pass it up 😉