In short, things are back to normal here at Siuslaw News.
Morley Safer has resumed the relentless faxing of his booty, threatening to continue until “YOU CRACK and I am given the EXCLUSIVE! Or my next scheduled proctology appointment, whichever comes first.” Barbara Walters is once again leaving angry phone messages, including just a few minutes ago when she whispered, “I will Bweak you, and that’s a pwomise.”
And as I mentioned, Geraldo Rivera is now after an exclusive and has been attempting to infiltrate our newsroom by using his investigative journalism skills. In one attempt, he disguised himself as a construction worker to gain access. He would’ve made it if not for “Misty,” our observant receptionist, who stopped him for an autograph when she thought he was one of the Village People. Since last Tuesday, we have thwarted no fewer than six attempts by Rivera to reach The Door — including trying to tunnel in from the sewer. Frighteningly, he made it to within only a few feet of The Door but came up short, breaking through the restroom floor while “Joe” was on the commode. Being trained journalists, we quickly surmised that two men screaming in the bathroom meant something was wrong.
Needless to say, we remain on high alert here in the newsroom as I bring you this week’s entry. For those who might be stumbling into The Door for the first time, at least in terms of finding this blog, you should know each week we feature a clipping from among those that reporters have been pasting to The Door since the 1970s. Each is an example of print journalism “Shame, Blame or Brilliance.” But mostly the first two.
As always, before we reveal this week’s clipping, we must all join hands and, in a monotoned voice similar to any member of Will Smith’s family after watching Miley Cyrus, repeat the following chant:
The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.
Today, we are featuring one of the oldest clippings on The Door. It is from 1973, and is what we call a “wild photo,” which is a photo that runs with a brief description beneath it instead of a full story. In addition, it usually includes a catchy title as well. In this example, which I consider the epitome of the term “wild photo,” the title only makes things worse…
At this point, it’s probably best that I don’t offer any additional commentary.
Besides: I’m just happy to see you…