… This Just In …

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…TAT-tat-tat-TAT-TAT-tat-tat-TAT…

[Breaking News: from another strangely irrelevant moment in our newsroom…]

Coming back from lunch, I walked into the newsroom to find a fellow journalist and three individuals in mid-interview. As I took my seat across the room, I felt my blood run cold as I overheard their accusations about the nightmare scenario our government shutdown is leading to.

“Dear GOD!” I said, sending my chair against the wall as I stood. “How can this happen here?! In AMERICA?!? Men being sterilized in processing plants! We have to tell people!”

After an awkward silence, one of the individuals exchanged glances with the rest of the group. “Um, we’re talking about MAIL sterilizing and processing plants, not male sterilizing plants.”

Sometimes, there’s no graceful way to exit a room…

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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

41 thoughts on “… This Just In …”

  1. snicker giggle…its so funny how men get immediately freaked out when certain words are combined…i am glad no men were accidentally sterilized in the writing of this post.

    1. Lol! Thanks!

      The book show was really fun. Thanks for asking! I’m going to write about it for Friday’s “Nickel’s Worth on Writing.” I got a few speaking speaking engagements after I did my readings, and 22 pre-orders. It was my first one of these, and I think offering a free bite of scone with each purchase was β€” if I say so myself β€” marketing genius… πŸ˜‰

      1. ..ah. see. you shoulda just stuck with yo quiro taco bell. that flippin tequila will duck you up every single time. however, sometimes i myself wonder about the taste of that green mt dew.

  2. Ha! Good one. I can picture the whole scenario in my mind. Thank goodness I live in Canada where I don`t have worry about sterilization (postal or otherwise)!

  3. I’m trying to explain why I’m doubled over laughing, it’s not going well … apparently pointing at the screen and saying the words “mail sterilization plants” between giggle fits just makes your husband uncomfortable which makes it funnier.

No one is watching, I swear...

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