My topic?
Biblical Prophecy and Its Warnings About Miley Cyrus.
At least, that was going to be my topic. But following the advice of my publisher, Ellen, I made a last-minute topic change:
Life Without Humor is No Laughing Matter (Get it?)
But because Ellen is a professional who wants this book to be successful, and because she knows my well-thought-out publicity campaign would involve little more than appearances at Cold Stone locations throughout the U.S., she has urged me to accept offers to speak anywhere, any time, even if it means singing a happy birthday song with bewildered waitresses at Applebee’s (Which was a total bust, by the way, at least until I got a piece of cake.)
So don’t be surprised if I show up at your next Bunko Night, Elks Lodge dinner, church bazaar, AA meeting or Le Maze class. Although the Le Maze class isn’t really, uh… contractual.
Ned's Blog 
Awesomeness. Best of luck with the tour. Let me know if you hit Southern California. I would totally come. We could exchange books!
I would love that. At this point, I have no idea what the parameters of this “tour” will be. It could end next week in a truck stop along I5.
Since I5 runs all the way down to San Diego, I’m cool with that.
I’ll be sure to bring lots of Maple Syrup if you ever make it here!!
I’ll hold you to it. Bringing syrup I mean, not the actual syrup. That would be very sticky.
Do I need to warm up the pom-poms? Writer groupies use pom-poms, right? I think that’s in the groupie handbook, which I think you wrote too, right? Anyway, let me know, I would hate to miss a supportive gig.
Have a great time!
Pom-poms are always a nice touch. But don’t worry about a human pyramid. I can’t cover the medical deductible 😉
hit the road and don’t look back – love the cover too
Thank you! Because it’s my son and his friends, the cover has special meaning for me. Plus, having someone other than me on the front will definitely sell more books 😉
…said george bush senior.
LOL! I’ll make sure to Stay the Course…
Eff you, you eff? Seriously? Not sure why they need a talk on humour when they chose that acronym
You know you have a place to stay should your Grande Tour make a stop in Toronto
If I make it that far, I will definitely be in touch my friend 😉
Caught that too. Hey, Ned, we’re the stalker fans who read the jpegs. Free copies for us, please!
I like the way you think, Ross!
Hahahahah! I KNEW you guys would catch that! I say we all meet up at the FU Church for communion…
Lol! I was waiting to see if you’d notice and you didn’t disappoint! Well done 😉
(On a different note, I posted an apology of sorts to your “about” page over the weekend — I hope you got it. I don’t apologize often. Not because I’m a jerk, but because I’m practically infallible…)
Yes, I replied to you. Didn’t you get it? Oh dear, now you’re interepreting my silence as icy disdain.
Don’t be silly!
You heartless bastard… 😉
You are totally shameless! 😉 Good luck and congratulations!
Haha! Thanks, Lynette 😉
Congratulations and good luck Mr. Celebrity 🙂
Thanks, Jhanis! And I appreciate the Tweet, as well as your good wishes! 😉
How exciting! I know for sure you won’t be coming to my neck of the woods so will have to read about your tour here instead.
U
I’ll do my best to keep you posted 😉
No chances of you coming my way either. Looking forward to reading about your tour on your blog though.
p.s. Still giggling at the contractual obligations at the Lamaze class 🙂 🙂
If co-authors Braxton and Hicks come to town, you know I won’t be far behind 😉
I’ll keep an eye on my local rag for their names in anticipation of you following along closely behind. It will be just like a birthday celebrations! 😉
That’s awesome! If you make it to Toronto, be sure to stop somewhere in Michigan.
I’ll see what Greyhound says…
Hey – you should buy some chicken broth – it’s a really good price! Thanks for sharing the sales page!
Now I’m thinking about including a coupon for Swanson’s chicken broth on the back cover, as an incentive to buy the book…
Ha Ha! Do it!
Have a wonderful tour and congratulations. Don’t forget to get lots of sleep and don’t forget to eat well.
Fortunately, I don’t expect my travels to keep me from my own bed or refrigerator 😉
Just saying…thinking of the old days of touring. 😉
I much prefer the old days in just about every way 😉
😉
Yay!
Ah, to be born with no sense of self respect! Good luck on your tour. TIP: turn down engagements at public restrooms.
I wish you’d told me sooner about the restrooms…
That’s a damn good deal on that chicken broth, BTW!
I’m somewhat of a marketing genius that way.
Congratulations, Ned! Looking forward to getting your book. And reading it. Let me know if your travel plans include NYC or NJ.
Thanks, John! At this point, I doubt I’ll make it out of Oregon anytime soon, depending on what kind of specials Greyhound is running…
Now I’m craving soup…
Congrats and good luck!
That’s generally what I’m going for with my posts: instilling a desire for Swanson’s Soup because it’s so delicious!
(Do you think they heard me?)
A life-time soup sponsorship is what we all strive for!
Yes, I like to dream big 😉
I think everyone getting ready to whip up their Thanksgiving feast will notice the article regarding your speaking engagement because it’s conveniently located next to the 2/$1.00 chicken broth special. 😉
Of course! You think that was an accident?! 😉
If I ever write a book, I want one of my tour stops to be featured near an ad for cupcakes or pie. 🙂
Now you’ve got me thinking I should’ve positioned myself next to an ad for Ding-Dongs…
I guess I should’ve chose ho-hos, huh?? lol
Hahaha! You read my mind! Glad you went there 😉
You can always count on me to go “there”, can’t you Ned?? 😉
Must be an Oregonian thing 😉
I look forward to the western NY leg of the tour!
Only if I plan to hop there… 😉
So, who is the poor kid that’s on the cover of the book/blog?
I actually took the photo about four years ago. He’s my son’s friend (My son is the one in the yellow sweatshirt with his back to the camera.) They were on a carnival ride and his expression just cracked me up. Still does!
My proctologist wants to know if you are available for a butt signing.
What sized Sharpie should I bring?
Bring an ass-ortment.
Sounds like we might want to start with a dry-erase marker.
Unscented.
I don’t think that’s going to be possible.
If ever there was an open-minded audience, I expect UUs would be.
They truly are. It’s only the FUUF church if you piss them off.