As some of you know, in addition to this blog, I’m also a contributor at a literary website called Gliterary Girl. It’s an excellent website focusing primarily on women authors, book reviews and the publishing industry. Let’s be honest: I’m not a woman — and I’m pretty sure they know this. Assuming, of course, they are aware I am posting on their website. If not, they’ll find out soon because, in addition to being the only male contributor, I am also participating in Gliterary Girl’s Holiday Blog Hop.
As 50 Shades character Anastasia Steele, would say: “I’ve never done this before, so I should probably stretch first.”
In my case, however, the only stretching required will be revealing my personal holiday wish list. This is technically a stretch for me because I haven’t made a Christmas wish list since I was 9, when I asked for a fully posable Six Million Dollar Man action figure and received, instead, a more financially prudent and fully bendable six dollar art mannequin.
I’m sure at this point, many of you are asking: How much buttered rum has Ned consumed and why hasn’t someone put him to bed?
If not, then you may be asking: Aside from revealing he played with dolls as a boy, what is the point of this post?
In addition to my need to clarify that I played with ACTION FIGURES, not dolls, my point is you can get some totally FREE STUFF and discover some terrific authors by participating in this Holiday Blog Hop by visiting the author websites at the end of this post.
But wait! As if that wasn’t enough, there is also a Grand Prize being given away by Gliterary Girl Media, which includes:
• A Book Bag Filled With Swag and Books (Some autographed)
• A Gliterary Girl Media Holiday Book Sampler
• Your Choice of Two of the Books Within the Sampler
• $25 Gift Card
• GGM Personalized Notepad
All this by just visiting the Holiday Blog Hop.
As for my Christmas wish list, I’m a simple man with simple tastes:
1) A Harley (Nothing fancy; as I said, I’m a simple man)
2) Two round-trip plane tickets to Spain so I can take my wife to see the land of her ancestors (Again, because of my simple tastes, economy class is fine)
3) Lots of participation in this Holiday Blog Hop (Because, like me, it’s really simple)
and lastly:
4) A Six Million Dollar Man action figure (Okay, not that simple but I still want one)
I hope you’ll take the opportunity to visit the link below and discover some new authors, win some gifts and possibly the Grand Prize from Gliterary Girl, as well as win a copy of my new book by leaving a comment on this post. The Gliterary Girl Holiday Blog Hop begins today and lasts through Dec. 20. That means there’s plenty of time to visit by clicking the link below.
And also to get those cookies in the mail…
Ned's Blog 
Ned, I have nothing clever or witty to say but I’d like to win a book so I can tell people, “yes, I do own a book, thank you for asking” the next time somebody asks.
I think that makes perfect sense, Don. And you are obviously clever enough to avoid mentioning it’s MY book, which would negate any level of respect you might’ve gained by actually owning a book…
Don’t be silly Ned. You book will either be placed on shelves all over the country between war and peace and the bible. Or it will be in bathrooms where people can read in peace and quiet. Either way you will be a star.
HahahaHA! I’ll settle for between the Nice n’ Soft toilet paper and Moby Dick, like in our bathroom.
Alright, going to go Holiday Blog hopping…but if I have to sing Christmas carols…I’m going to be upset. I won’t sing actually, I’ll just be that white guy douche beat boxer in the background that can’t actually beat box.
That makes two of us! Hey, if we can find a few more guys like that (shouldn’t be hard) we could make a Christmas album “New Older Men on the Block; Homies for the Holidays”
Don’t tell me you’re not tempted…
I’m in!
Ned, Chris, as long as all that’s required is a willingness to humiliate oneself and not having any actual talent is the entry criterion, I say, count me in! REDdog
The more the merrier!
Maybe for us; those within ear shot may not feel as merry.
That is definitely what we’re saying, REDdog, so grab an instrument you can’t play and we’ll meet you at the studio…
Fun! Not sure what blog hopping is, but if it’s anything like bar hopping, I’m in 😉 I’ve not heard of Gliterary Girl; I like the premise and will “hop” on over just as soon as I get your cookies in the mail. You are a giver, Ned!
Merry wishes — Colleen
Lol! Thanks, Colleen! I’ve never been involved in one before, but the folks at Gliterary Girl are terrific, so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do something I know nothing about.
… Come to think of it, that’s pretty much my life story…
Thanks for giving it a try. I know you’re going to enjoy the GG website 😉
I almost forgot about your G-Spot!! Thanks for the reminder. 😉
It’s not uncommon, so don’t feel bad… 😉
AHAHAHAHAHA!!! tell me more….tell me more!!
Ned, I had no idea you were a gliterary girl, or that you used to play with dolls, Thanks for pointing it out…will check out Gliterary Girls right away.
Here’s to hoping Santa will bring you that Six Million Dollar Man Action Figure!
Yeah, I’m layered, like an onion.
Or maybe more like an artichoke; I don’t like onions.
The older you get, the more you need six million dollar man surgery than the posable action figure. My Christmas list has always included the Jaime Somers blow up doll. That comes from a different kind of toy store.
You do know that the only things “bionic” on Jaime were her legs, an arm and her ears, right?
Good thing. Can you imagine a bionic woman with a bionic tongue?
I’m sure Steve Austin did.
Rumors are that the six million didn’t take care of everything.
Bionics don’t include hydraulics.
Bionics just made Steve Austin faster.
Sadly, according to the show’s opening, they actually made him “better than he was.”
No wonder he wasn’t married.
911 911…can we continue my manly advice here? please? i got ALOT more to ask…
i think i used to blog hop back in the day, and am sure it will all come back to me thanks to muscle memory )
Muscle memory is a powerful thing, depending on how many… uh, curls you did.
I just have to say I am glad I hopped by here. I got a couple of good laughs. THANKS 🙂
Thanks, Crystal! I’m on deadline today but plan to do some “hopping” tomorrow. I’m looking forward to reading your review on Constance Phillips 😉 In the meantime, you’re in the drawing for a copy of my book. Sorry about that. But thanks for stopping in and enjoy the Hop!
I am all signed up. When asked what I wanted for Christmas I said, “All I want is a copy of humor at the speed of life”. Thanks Ned. I can’t wait to read your book sir.
Thanks, Tom. I am sure Santa will bring you a copy regardless of what list you’re on.
i replied. i got nuthin. replying…again….
Did you knock first? I may have been flushing and didn’t hear you…
Did you lock the door…who knocks?
Did you mean you were sittin? That stinks…
I’d wait a minute… or an hour before coming in.
Note to self “Don’t drink your tea whilst reading Ned’s blog posts”… my screen almost wore it all when I reached the quote by Anastasia Steele.
I would love to own your book Ned (not available in stores in the Land Down Under just yet). I could read it whilst I am mixing the fruit for my fruit cake!!
Sorry about that, Suz! My wife had the same reaction when I began stretching. As for the book, I’ll draw a name for the winner of a copy at the end of the week with the help of “Skippy” the wild, blindfolded and potentially rabid squirrel. If it’s not you, and you absolutely MUST get your hands on a copy, you can order one here. They even ship to Australia!
http://www.portholepublications.com/store/product_info.php?cPath=15&products_id=105
Or if you want to get your hands on “Skippy,” that can be arranged as well 😉
I might pass on Skippy. Not sure customs allow rabid animals past the border. Got enough of the real skippys around our place anyway. You might need to google Skippy the Bush Kangaroo….
But will definitely get my hands on your book one way or another 😉
Probably just as well in regards to “Skippy,” Suz.
And I think after today’s post about the perils of using “stuffed beaver” in a cutline, I will lay low for a while and avoid anything to do with the term “Bush Kangaroo…” 😉
Thank goodness, I finished drinking my cup of tea….
I got hung up on hot buttered rum. 😉
Completely understandable 😉
Tried to visit, but the website isn’t working. 😦
WHAT?!? Must be all the hot buttered rum…
You can also click on the “Gliterary Girl” link highlighted in gold if the button at the bottom of the page isn’t working… It’ll be worth the visit — those ladies are good 😉
I tried two of the links. I will try again, right after I pour myself another snort of that rum! 😉
Weird I just tried them all and they worked fine. The rum, I mean.
🙂 Seriously, I had no problem with any of the links.
Try this one: http://www.gliterarygirl.com/holiday-wishlist-blog-hop/
Maybe it was a temporary glitch. . . in my rum soaked brain. lol Thanks for the link–this one worked!!
Haha! Yay! I plan to suffer from a rum-induced glitch sometime this weekend… 😉
Oh, and what gives, it’s a whole bunch of chicks and you. lol
See? I wasn’t kidding when I said I was the only guy. I’m not sure how that happened. Fortunately, I am comfortable enough in my masculinity that it doesn’t bother me.
I’M NOT GAY!
Don’t protest too much! 😉
Hahaha!
LOL! Fun post!
Thanks, Joleene! And I think a Christmas tree with a horror theme would be pretty awesome. Hard to find the ornaments for that, though. I’m actually working on an “ugly sweater” for our contest at work: I want to have an alien popping out of my chest wearing a Santa hat.
I stretched, hopped over and got signed up…didn’t even pull a hami!
Just so you know, I LOVE reading your blog. I’m really starting to like this writing thing and you have had a lot to do with that.
Have a great day! I’m hopping back over to the Gliteray site–may I borrow that hot buttered rum, please?
I really appreciate hearing that, Michelle! And I’m glad you’re checking out Gliterary Girl. Sara O’Connor is terrific, and all the writers and contributors are truly wonderful. Enjoy the hopping, and try not to spill that buttered rum 😉
I hopped around and had a good time. I’m thinking I should probably dump you for some of those sites. 🙂
Well, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been dumped after comparing my blog… 😉
Happy holidays
And Happy Holidays to you!
The title alone was worth the price of admission!
Haha! Thanks!
*smears on the deep heating rub*
The trick is to always stretch first.
I hind sight, I should have spoken with you first. Come to think of it, even that’s sore…
Made me smile a bit when i needed 🙂 Thanks…
So glad to hear that, Kate 😉 Thank you for visiting and following. I hope you’ll stop by whenever you need a laugh. Although that’s not a prerequisite…
Have a wonderful day!
Thanks 🙂 i’ll try to drop by once in a while 😉 Have a great day too, Ned ^_^
I’ll do the same — I think your poetry and verse are terrific 😉
Thanks a lot 🙂 *blush* Your words mean the world… ^_^