(Some of you may have noticed the new Long Awkward Pause badge off to the right. Go ahead and look… See? And although I would have put it there simply because it looks cool, it actually means I’ve become a regular contributor there beginning today. What follows is a snippet from my first hard-hitting assignment, which included driving to North Carolina to interview Clay Aiken. Here’s a snippet along with a link to the post at LAP. And I promise to never again say “snippet” and “link” together in the same sentence…)
RALEIGH, N.C. — My interview with singer and 2003 American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken began with a tour of North Carolina’s second Congressional district. As I sat on the back of his bedazzled Vespa motor scooter, Aiken seemed to take pride in his city, as well as take corners so sharply I had to squeeze his waist. Though he formally announced his bid for Congress a week ago, Aiken told me more than once that he’s no politician.
“I’m no politician!” he shouted over his shoulder, then swerved to avoid a cloud of mosquitoes. “Woooo! Shields down!”
Some speculate that his run against Republican incumbent Renee Ellmers is a publicity stunt aimed at putting him back in the spotlight for the release of his next album, Aiken for Change, which coincidentally happens to be his campaign slogan. When asked about this, the American Idol star abruptly brought the scooter to a stop in a rundown South Raleigh neighborhood known for its high crime rate and low employment. He removed his helmet and raised a finger, prepared to reply with a well-thought rebuttal, then quickly put his helmet back on.
“Oh darn,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to stop in THIS neighborhood!” (More here at LAP)
Ned's Blog 
oh god.
you heard.
I saw your Aiken for Change bumper sticker.
yeah man.
Raleigh is parading.
with rainbow flags. and such. Westboro was invited. Its gonna be a huge turnout.
I bet there will be a lot of people coming out. To the parade, I mean…
Is a political race really good for promoting a publication? What do you say you and I team up for 2016, Ned?
Count me in, Paul! I say we run as the first tag-team-style presidency; whenever one of us makes a bad policy decision, we get to tag off to the other.
my head just exploded (from your brilliance).
I’m going to write about this, or draw it in a cartoon, or write a song about it, or do an interpretive dance, or a mime act.
How about singing a song about a guy drawing a mime doing an interpretive dance about it?
Did I mention my head already exploded?
I thought I heard something. I thought it was one of my kids stomping on a milk carton.
How tightly did you squeeze his waist?
It was more of a wrap-around actually, but it was pretty tight; he drives like a maniac. He still gets my vote, though.
You had me at “bedazzled Vespa”.
I had to dig deep for that.
‘achin’ for aiken?’ congrats on the new gig, you really get around )
Haha! I almost went with that, then ‘achin’ got me thinking about “achey,” then Achey Breaky Heart, then I tried to hang myself… so I went a different direction 😉
i absolutely follow that line of thought. and that kind of scares me.
Save yourself; it’s too late for me.
Congrats on the appointment. I think…
Thanks, Pieter. I think… 😉
Great to see you are posting at LAP. That’ll save me a click. 🙂
Anything I can do to make your life more efficient 😉
I think EVERYBODY has signed up for a seat at the LAP cool table. Except me, of course.
Well done, Ned.
Well done, indeed.
Aiken has given writers everywhere a gift, hasn’t he?
Thanks, Robert! It should be a lot of fun.
And yes, Clay may not be God’s gift to women, but he’s a gift to humor writers everywhere 😉