Rising injury rate causes Olympic Committee to question Met-Life sponsorship

(For those who are wondering how this post could qualify as a Flashback Sunday when, in fact, the Sochi Olympics are still going on, I say to you: Job well done. As I would expect from a reader of this blog, nothing gets past you. For those of you who aren’t even aware of the Olympics, I say to you: It’s time to put down your pirated copy of Flappy Birds and join the rest of us. Either way, today’s post is still a flashback of sorts, to earlier this morning, when I filed this Olympic report at Long Awkward Pause…)

SOCHI, RUSSIA — Already being referred to as the “Ow-lympics” by many athletes, the Sochi games officially became the most injury-ridden winter Olympics ever when, late last night, Ukranian hockey player Watta Jerkoph broke his ankle. According to reports, the incident occurred when Bob Costas was returning to his room with a bucket of ice.

“From what we’ve been able to piece together, Mr. Costas, who was supposed to be confined to his room with an eye infection, accidentally spilled some cubes in the hallway,” said an investigator. “Several of the cubes landed near the room of Russian figure skater Ineeda Cleavitch, who Jerkoph had been visiting to discuss his slap shot. When the athlete was returning to his room, he encountered the melting ice and slipped.”

While the injury wasn’t immediately life threatening, one Olympic physician expressed the need for caution. “You never know how these injuries will go. Especially once his wife finds out.” (Read more here…)