As I mentioned yesterday, I am at the Festival of Books here on the Oregon coast, stirring up a level of excitement over my book that fair organizers have called a frenzy “similar to a Peaches and Herb concert…”
Doing my best to keep a handle on the pandemonium.
I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...
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76 thoughts on “Breaking news from my booth at the book fair!”
Omg, if I weren’t in Canada I would be standing in line for hours to have you sign a copy of your book for me.
I would rather be there than where I was all day…at least I could keep you entertained with my sad dating stories (and perhaps some provocative ones too)…
Well, at least you’re still at your table in the booth. Looks like whoever was to your left, Tom Cherones (or something like that…hard to read the sign) just up and left.
Wow, you have good eye sight! That’s exactly who it was. He’s actually an Emmy -winning director of Seinfeld. Super nice guy. He went for a bite and I told him I’d watch his stuff. I also signed all of his books with my name.
Haha! It actually went pretty well. It was a lot of fun. And my booth mate was Tom Cherones, the Emmy-award winning director of Seinfeld. Super nice guy. Oh, and I sold some books.
I suggested this to another blogger who had a similar photo of themselves at an empty book signing table – next time, every time someone is anywhere near your table, casually hold your wrist and start flexing your fingers to make it look like your hand is aching from doing so much book signing – this is guaranteed to get the hype going. GUARANTEED.
Come to a book signing in Florida, Young Ned, and I’LL be your pom-pom carrying, short skirt-wearing cheerleader! Of course, it won’t be a pretty sight, what with me being an old lady, and all…but we might get the sympathy buyers. Or the ones who’ve helped themselves to several of your Margarita Big Gulps.
Until that day, I promise to post about your book on The Write Stuff, and then tweet the heck out of that, as well. We’ll find you a buyer or six. Probably. 😉
It actually went really well, but I couldn’t help it when things got off to a slow start 😉 But thanks for the offer! I will hold you to it when I come to Florida some day 😉
I’ll join Blog Woman and do a whole cheerleading thing! (Provided you dispense the margaritas.) I’ll even get Mandi to teach me to do a hurkey!
If that doesn’t work, I’ll just quote Silence Of the Lambs in a creepy voice. On a megaphone.
I say go for the whole package. A short- skirted cheerleader doing the Hurkey while reciting lines from SOTL will definitely get people ‘s attention. I’ll make the margaritas top shelf Cadillac style for the occasion. Heck, I won’t even care if people show up!
1). It appears that you have passed out due to California wildfire smoke, not unlike the filter Liz Taylor used in White Diamonds commercials. 2) Herb was the only Herb in “Peaches & Herb” but seven different women have filled the role of “Peaches.” So Herb and seven peaches is probably more fun than you can fathom.
1) Actually, there were a lot of gassy seniors there even a filter couldn’t stop, and 2) They should’ve gotten Herb instead of Bob Dole for those Viagra commercials.
Omg, if I weren’t in Canada I would be standing in line for hours to have you sign a copy of your book for me.
Hours? Looks like seconds would suffice.
Are we still talking about the book fair?
Why yes, Ned. Yes we are.
Whew… just checking 😉
I wouldn’t make you wait that long 😉
settle down!
Thank God you woke me up!
I would rather be there than where I was all day…at least I could keep you entertained with my sad dating stories (and perhaps some provocative ones too)…
Without a doubt, that would be entertaining 😉
As would the blushing I’d be doing, no doubt 😉
Entertaining and endearing 😉
It might be hours, the author is asleep.
LOL, that really is a great photo. I wish I could come down and see you. A book fair sounds lovely compared to the things I’ve had to do today.
I asked my wife to take it. The photo’s obviously an exaggeration; I have more books available than that 😉
I use peaches and herb scented shampoo. It’s very exciting.
I needed you today, Larry.
Crap, and I was looking for an excuse to use up that last quarter tank of gas this weekend.
Oh, wait, it’s in Florence? Make that two tanks of gas.
Hey, Ii’s the thought that counts. I’d be willing to meet you halfway. Or loan you my scooter.
Well, at least you’re still at your table in the booth. Looks like whoever was to your left, Tom Cherones (or something like that…hard to read the sign) just up and left.
Wow, you have good eye sight! That’s exactly who it was. He’s actually an Emmy -winning director of Seinfeld. Super nice guy. He went for a bite and I told him I’d watch his stuff. I also signed all of his books with my name.
Hey Ned… At least you got invited to go the book fair. I’ve sold 3 of my books and I bought all 3 copies myself. Hahah.
I think that’s called investing in yourself, right? 😉
Too bad I’m in Canada. Wake up dude your fans await…
*wipes slobber from mouth*
Wwhhaat?
Fan,dude,Canada,wait
Lol. You’re doing great. That’s insanity.
Haha! It actually went pretty well. It was a lot of fun. And my booth mate was Tom Cherones, the Emmy-award winning director of Seinfeld. Super nice guy. Oh, and I sold some books.
I love how you used your head to hold down the books when gravity failed. Nice touch.
Sandra Bullock came floating through right after that shot was taken.
You scared off your tablemate.
He went for a bite (so he said). So I told him I’d watch his stuff. I also signed all of his books with my name.
Cool note: It was Tom Cherones, the Emmy-award winning director of Seinfeld. Really nice guy. Until he found out I signed all his books…
*Sigh* My work is never done. Throwing on the cheer-leading skirt and socks as I type. Get ready for the draw ’em in, pom-pom action (from afar).
Word must’ve gotten out. Soon after, I got pretty busy. Free margaritas didn’t hurt.
Good, and good thinking about throwing in the drinks! Nothing makes my moves look better than the blur of happy hour spirits.
Haha! I have a feeling the margaritas have nothing to do with your moves 😉
I suggested this to another blogger who had a similar photo of themselves at an empty book signing table – next time, every time someone is anywhere near your table, casually hold your wrist and start flexing your fingers to make it look like your hand is aching from doing so much book signing – this is guaranteed to get the hype going. GUARANTEED.
Hahaha! Either that or they’ll think I’m having a stroke. Either way, they’ll want a copy!
Come to a book signing in Florida, Young Ned, and I’LL be your pom-pom carrying, short skirt-wearing cheerleader! Of course, it won’t be a pretty sight, what with me being an old lady, and all…but we might get the sympathy buyers. Or the ones who’ve helped themselves to several of your Margarita Big Gulps.
Until that day, I promise to post about your book on The Write Stuff, and then tweet the heck out of that, as well. We’ll find you a buyer or six. Probably. 😉
It actually went really well, but I couldn’t help it when things got off to a slow start 😉 But thanks for the offer! I will hold you to it when I come to Florida some day 😉
I’m really glad to hear it went well. Good on ya! I have my first one coming up in January, and I’m already nervous. 😯
No need to be nervous. People are there because they WANT to be there. Or for the margaritas. I’ll come cheer you on wearing a short kilt.
Ooooooh…Men. In. Kilts. Now THAT’S what I’m talkin’ about!! Lovely to look at, delightful to…well…look at. (I’m old, remember.) 😀
Haha! You should probably wait to see my legs first… 😉
Legs? You’re wearing a short kilt, and you think I’ll be looking at your legs? *snort*
LOL! 😉
LOL! The most brilliant are rarely recognized until they’re dead. Next time, maybe you should stage your death — lots of blood and gore. That sells. 😉
LOL! I tried the “sex sells ” approach by dressing seductively and you can see where it got me… 😉
I’ll join Blog Woman and do a whole cheerleading thing! (Provided you dispense the margaritas.) I’ll even get Mandi to teach me to do a hurkey!
If that doesn’t work, I’ll just quote Silence Of the Lambs in a creepy voice. On a megaphone.
I say go for the whole package. A short- skirted cheerleader doing the Hurkey while reciting lines from SOTL will definitely get people ‘s attention. I’ll make the margaritas top shelf Cadillac style for the occasion. Heck, I won’t even care if people show up!
“His pulse never got above 85, even when he ate her tongue…”
Get out the good stuff, Ned.
Until the word “tongue,” I thought we were talking about a different kind movie.
They must have all been in Dallas for the Dallas Pen Show…my booth was hopping!
Show off…
1). It appears that you have passed out due to California wildfire smoke, not unlike the filter Liz Taylor used in White Diamonds commercials. 2) Herb was the only Herb in “Peaches & Herb” but seven different women have filled the role of “Peaches.” So Herb and seven peaches is probably more fun than you can fathom.
1) Actually, there were a lot of gassy seniors there even a filter couldn’t stop, and 2) They should’ve gotten Herb instead of Bob Dole for those Viagra commercials.
Is that true about Herb?! Dang.
Yes, I looked it up. I don’t think I can go on…
Wikipedia knows everything.
Well, it IS “Peaches and Herb,” not “Peach and Herb.” So funny that their 1-hit is “Reunited.” Think about that.
Ha! The irony wasn’t lost on me…
Good point.
Next time try signing shirtless. Sure the frenzy would be security clamoring to escort you out, but it would still be pandemonium.
I couldn’t live with myself if someone got hurt. Or had a heart attack.
I read the title of this blog a bit too quickly. I could swear the title was ‘Breaking news from my butt’.
That would be more of late-breaking story sometime after dinner.
I hope you don’t drool on that top copy. If you think they’re hard to sell now…
That’s a really funny pic. Good on you for having the fortitude to post it. I’m too thin-skin and sensitive for that kind of publicity.
Given the choice, I’d rather make fun of myself than anyone else. Except for Justin Bieber.
I would have been there, but I already have my very own signed copy. Best bucks I ever spent 🙂
I’m so glad to hear that, Michelle! Especially since I already spent my royalties on a new pair of socks… 😉
(Seriously though — thank you!)
Hang in there, Ned! I think this is how TS Eliot started. In fact, I’m sure of it:).
Ha! Thanks Kay! But it’s his ending I’m more worried about!
It’s lonely at the top, isn’t it?
And as this photo proves, I’m at the top of my game!
You’re kicking my ass!
My last royalty check was three dollars.
Lord knows if I’ll ever finish my second book…
You’ll finish it or I will literally be kicking your ass.
As a friend…