As many of you know, giving up coffee was one of my New Year’s resolutions. I made this decision because I felt it was a healthy thing to do and that, by cutting down on coffee and caffeine, I would be a better, stronger and healthier person.
I was wrong.
After a week without my coffee, I was simply crankier. I missed the ritual of making the coffee, smelling the coffee and getting the perfect amount of cream and sugar as much as I missed the caffeine.
Ok, that’s not entirely true; I missed the caffeine more. How much more? Here is a sequence of photos taken this morning from our security/productivity camera in the breakroom at Siuslaw News. After seeing these, I’ve decided to no longer deny myself the simple pleasure of having my coffee. If for no other reason than to keep this from happening again…
So yes, I am back to drinking coffee. Do I consider myself a failure for giving in to my lust desire enjoyment of drinking coffee even though I know it isn’t entirely healthy for me? Of course not. It’s certainly healthier than the risk involved with swallowing dried coffee grounds.
The truth of the matter is, I love coffee and there are worse vices I could have other than a few cups each day. I’ve never smoked and am a responsible drinker, i.e., if someone has alcohol I’ll respond! Haha! Just kidding. But seriously, coffee brings me joy and has become an important part of my mornings and my writing process. Although supportive of my decision to give it up, many of you voiced your opinion that I should reconsider my resolution — and that I shouldn’t deny myself coffee if I enjoy it so much.
As my friend Ross Murray so eloquently put it: Are you nuts? Swear off coffee completely? Didn’t think about, I dunno, just cutting back? (Says the sugar addict…)
Or as Kevin at Kevin’s Blog of Worthless Advice suggested: Why would you want to give up coffee? Cut back to one cup a day and you’ll be fine. Or make that cup more exciting with various creamers that are extremely bad for you (but taste so good)…
Although I think Kim Ulmanis at Witty and Hilarious Tagline Pending said it best: You’re a writer. Drink the damn coffee. Writers do not do sissy drinks like postum or decaf tea…
I’d like to thank everyone for their comments and support. I appreciate you helping me wake up and smell the coffee.
Cheers!
Ned's Blog 
Coffee actually has anti-oxidants that are good for the body. You just need to limit yourself to one or two cups a day and maybe reduce the sugar a bit….you’re sweet enough!! 😉
Aww, thanks, Susan 😉
Alas, this morning I woke up and smelled the coffee. And drank some. I’ll give up something else more toxic. Like cable TV…
That is a much better idea for long term health and well-being! 🙂
Wow, I missed that one. I don’t drink coffee but I could have told you that was a bad idea. No, you may not have one of my Diet Cokes. Happy New Year!
Hahaha! Wait, Diet Coke has caffeine, right?
Happy New Year, Maggie 😉
Mmmm. Coffee.
Exactly.
I may never recover psychologically from knowing the time I wasted not drinking it.
Overheard at the coffeeshop:
Q: “how do you take your coffee?”
A: “seriously.”
: )
Hahaha! Perfect 😉
Huzzah! I don’t know which made me laugh more, the photos or the time it must have taken to create them.
Actually, making a fool of myself takes less time than you might think.
I don’t know you but sometimes I forget I’m an adult.
It’s getting others to sometimes forget you’re an adult that’s the tricky part 😉
Reblogged this on Welcome to xHibit Magazine Network.
Welcome back to the dark side! 🙂 Or rather the dark side with cream and sugar.
Ha! It’s good to be back!
Hey, how did you know I take cream and sugar?
Welcome back Ned! We, the coffee drinkers of the world, have missed you. That series of pictures has got to be the funniest thing i have seen for a long,long time. I laughed out loud. Thank You.
And I missed you!
Yikes, I also think I missed a few of the coffee grounds in my teeth…
Cheers, Paul!
Since technically coffee drinking reduces your risk of head and neck cancer, cardiovascular disease, and other illnesses, think of it as medicine. You’re welcome! 😉
They also say caffeine raises your blood pressure but I disagree; my blood pressure was higher without caffeine. Mostly because I was cranky.
And thanks, Victo!
Nah. Any blood pressure elevation from coffee is negligible. It is the high dose energy drinks and supplements with caffeine that are the issue. AND, they don’t do jack for head and neck cancers, cardiivascular disease, etc. …
OMG! Laugh out loud funny!
Thank goodness you came to your senses…I was having a hard time keeping the sharp objects hidden.
Those pictures….dude…my laugh brought the dogs to the office.
“My laugh brought the dogs to the office.”
Haha! Perhaps the highest compliment I have been given, Michelle!
Now, back to my coffee.
My precious….
Bwahaha. Those pics are awesome! I’m glad you have come to your senses and started drinking the coffee again.
Thanks for setting me straight, Kim!
Cheers!
Oh my. . . I haven’t had any coffee all week. Not on purpose. I’m just too lazy to go to the store. 🙂
I’m glad you are back in the high life again. Now I’m going to print those pics out in color and make a little flip book like in days of yore.
The photos might make better coffee coasters instead!
Ooh, good idea!
The fact that you set this series of shots up speaks to how far you have fallen into despair without your caffeine fix. Seriously Dude…laughing my ass off! That is my over-sized ass, due to the amount of chocolates I consumed over the holiday season. No, I will not be submitting photos!
Haha! The magic of my iPod’s new timed exposure setting. It’s opened up a whole new world of ways to embarrass myself.
By the way, laughing burns calories. Glad I can help 😉
My arse thanks you!
Congratulations for giving up Postum for the new year!
LOL! Thank you for that perspective. I didn’t fail at quitting coffee, I succeeded in quitting Postum!
I’ve only tried coffee a few times, and didn’t like it, but I understand the feeling. I’m a Mountain Dew man myself.
I toitally understand that.
I’ve tried Mountain Dew once… which is why I started drinking coffee.
Yeah, give up something else, not coffee 🙂 1 or 2 max cups a day is totally fine.
Exactly! I mean, it’s not like I’m one of those people who constantly sucks coffee down. That’s crazy! When would I sleep?
Totally impressed you lasted a week. That’s a win in my book. Cheers. Gotta run, off to make another cup myself.
Hey thanks! Just think, you’ll always have had a week’s worth more coffee than I’ll have had. So go ahead, rub it in.
Toasting you with my own fresh cup! I had to laugh at the “smelling the can” photo – I used to actually do that during my no-coffee phase, but thankfully I never resorted to actually eating the ground coffee. However, I have in the past eaten chocolate-covered coffee beans – delicious!
Cheers!
If they had made coffee grounds into something like Skoal Bandits tobacco, I may have lasted longer.
As my drug of choice, I could not live without it. Also, much evidence on the medical benefits for heart and as a free radical (Not decaf. That shit will kill you) Got to drink at least three cups a day for the benefits. I choose 18 oz cups
Coffee is a wonder drug; I wonder why I ever thought of giving it up?
Raising my cup to you, John!
I live for coffee, Ned. I’m a happy addict! Good decision. I especially couldn’t write without it.
I am a member of that same club. It’s a “vice” I can live with. And apparently one I shouldn’t live without 😉
As for writing about it, it was the only way to get through my pain 😉
Going without coffee gives me diarrhea. Either that or going without artificial sweetener gives me diarrhea. Or going without cream gives me diarrhea. Heck, pretty much everything gives me diarrhea.
Congrats. You made it longer than most.
Thanks, Steve.
I discovered coffee grounds give me diarrhea. Probably all the fiber. So I’ll stick to the liquid.
Coffee, not diarrhea.
Now there is a new coffee creamer flavor….
Eat the coffee grounds and all your coworkers will love the aroma after you visit the room behind the Door. Maybe a famous coffee purveyor will name a coffee blend after you — StarButts.
StarButts.
Kim Kardashian’s new business venture.
lmAo
Hahahahahahaha! I love it!
Smart man, Ned. Congratulations to your return to the grounds.
Great pictures!! Cracking me up
Thanks so much. Coming from a guy whose Gravitar includes a nice Cannon, I’ll take it as a real compliment!
Yep… Used to hire myself out as a photographer few years back. I couldn’t make any money selling any other parts of me… I tried.
I’m so happy you caved and are once again back to the land of caffeinated coffee living. I was wondering how your day was going. Apparently going a bit ape shit and masticating coffee grounds. That’s like chewing cigarette butts rather than smoking. Cringe, shudder…hork 😉
At least no one had chewed the grounds and put them back before I did! Ha!
Oh God, at least I hope so…
thank god!
I think I could give up chocolate easier than I could coffee! Yikes! I don’t just need the caffeine, I actually really enjoy a great cup of joe! With just the right amount of cream and sugar… uh huh! Mmmmmm!! Ok, now I want a cup of coffee!!!! LOL! and I gotta go to bed! Gee..thanks Ned! 😛
That’s exactly how I feel. It’s not just the caffeine, but the whole ritual of making it, smelling it, wrapping my hands around the warm cup, the taste of the perfect blend of cream and sugar on my lips…
Wow, now it sounds like coffee porn. Maybe I DO have a problem.
Uhm… err… uh….. maybe you do?? LOL!! But I sooooooooo agree!! ha ha ha ha!!! 😛
So now you won’t need tootsie pops anymore.
I’ll always need Tootsie Pops.
So they’re like coffee..
Mmmmm. Coffee-flavored Tootsie Pops….
There you go! Coffee flavoured jelly beans exist too!
Must be from Harry Potter.
Or possibly from Jelly Belly.
Awesome. Coffee may have been the only thing you and I had in common, so now I can go back to being friends with you again. No more awkward silence in the room.
I’m SO glad to hear that!
And hey, I was 32 years old once, too, so we have that in common as well 😉
Then we have 32 things in common, no? Years 1-32 and then maybe some more!?
Excellent point, Anawni. Here’s to many more years of things in common 😉
Touche!
Haha!
Wait, why do you have surveillance cameras in the break room? Shenanigans!
They say it’s for safety purposes, i.e., as long as you don’t spend too much time there you’re job is safe 😉
Giving up coffee? Noooo even the title made me gasp! Thanks for the laugh with those photos.
What can I say? It was a moment of weakness. Like the time I tried Shawarma.
This is hysterical. 🙂
Really, why would you give up such a sacred ritual such as the morning coffee break. The one that truly keeps us human, and reigns us in from the Dark Side. (plus, why would you do that to your family and co-workers???) Enjoy this last bastion of human ritual that should never be challenged. Just give it a few months and the medical journals will praise the benefits of excess caffeine. They are a fickle bunch…
Lol! That is so true, Mary Michelle. ALL of it!
My grandfather wanted to make a T-shirt that said:
“Mom’s Apple Pie Causes Cancer.”
I will never part from coffee again. Especially with my apple pie.
Amen friend! Stay strong, and keep with the things that make you strong. Funny stuff on your blog- i am really enjoying it.
So glad you came to your senses. Although that mug doesn’t leave me optimistic for your longevity.
What? I LOVE that pirate mug!
Oh wait…do you mean my face? 😉
You poor, weak bastard…
Popeye had his spinach; I have my coffee.
I win.
Leave him ‘lone Robert!! It’s ok he likes coffee!! You got your Spider Man Underoos… we have coffee!! Right Ned!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! 😉
Fine, Courtney!
Don’t put me in a virtual headlock!
Especially if he’s only wearing Underoos.
OH!…ew…. you are so right Ned! Sorry for that! Eye bleach please!! ha ha ha!!
No no… no headlocks! virtual or otherwise! LOL!
I could’ve done without that visual
*hurriedly makes more coffee*
LMAO!! That was a good giggle for a Friday morning!!! 😉
Sniiiifffff!!! Mmm… that coffee smells good!
Don’t sniff too hard; remember that Robert is only wearing Underoos…
Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!
Oddly, If I heard that in a porn movie I wouldn’t think twice about it…
I’m surprised your hair still stands up without all of that coffee. I didn’t realize it was a style choice, I figured it was a really strong caffeine buzz.
You’ll know I switched to decaff if I have a comb-over.
Sexy.
Funniest thing I’ve seen all day! Cheers, friend!
Thanks, Sandy.
I can laugh now that I’ve had my coffee 😉
Cheers my friend!
I decided to go on a 12-week body makeover thingy, which is not the point of the comment. Part of this challenge is no alcohol. Discussing this idea with my family I raised the concern that the most difficult part would be to give up red wine. I LOVE red wine.
My dad replied flatly: “So do you have a problem we need to know about?”
I flushed red, like the wine I was holding at the time.
Dads.
And they wonder why we drink… 😉
Awesome! Glad you’re back on the sauce. I was beginning to think there was something wrong with you.
That makes two of us 😉
I ❤️ Ned Hickson!