The sound and the furry (or why my cat may kill me)

imageThose of you who have a cat, please raise your hand…

WOW! Look at those scratch marks! But we’ll get to that in a minute.

Sadly, many of you probably noticed yesterday that I didn’t post this week’s Nickel’s Worth on Writing, which is when I share pearls of writing wisdom gained from 16 years as shucking a columnist.


Anyway, the reason was because our office server was down the entire day. That left me with some idle time, which I spent learning how to use a new sound recording app. For me, this is like calculating a trajectory to Mars. I’m not a technological thinker. In fact, even with those little symbols in our TV remote, I still get the batteries in backwards half the time and end up turning off our neighbor’s pacemaker.

So, what does any of this have to do with CATS, you ask? First, if you still have your hand raised, feel free to put it down now.

Secondly, just for fun, I thought I’d try something a little different by giving a short audio preview of this Monday’s upcoming column/blog post:

Just What We Need: Intoxicated Cats

Without giving away too much, the column is about a new Japanese wine made specifically for felines. In this snippet, I’m comparing the names of cat foods to dog foods as an example of how we’ve already accepted a certain level of servitude to our cats, who are already indifferent while sober…


Will I make this a regular thing? Perhaps. Or maybe more importantly, will my cat hear this and attack me in my sleep?

Both are distinct possibilities…

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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

66 thoughts on “The sound and the furry (or why my cat may kill me)”

  1. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!! I snorted coffee through my nose, which made the cats run for cover. I will definitely be back to read your post about cat wine. I heard of this a few weeks ago and, in an instant, decided my male cat doesn’t need to be any more loopy than he already is. By the way, I feed my cats Blue Wilderness. Hmmmmm…what’s your take on that?

    1. Coffee snorting is always my comedic yardstick, so Thanks! Looking forward to seeing you monday πŸ˜‰

      Blue Wilderness: Because cats originally came from the wild and they’re not going back.

  2. Raising my hand, here…FOUR times! I love this post, Ned, and I really enjoyed hearing your voice! I sincerely hope you’ll have more sound bites for us in future posts…it was FUN! Reblogging on The Write Stuff, just for the heck of it, and because I think it will make make everyone smile today.

      1. If you ever change your mind, I know where you can get a couple…cheap. I won’t part with Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden or Sgt. Karrin Murphy, but Smelly Cat and Ancient Decrepit One would love a change of scenery. I’m sure Suislaw would be just their cup of cream. πŸ˜€

        1. Haha! As enticing as “Ancient Decrepit One” and “Smelly Cat” sound, I think I’ll stick with the comfortable ration of animals here in the Hickson household = 1 cat, two dogs.

          Even then, we’re still outnumbered by our cat.

          1. Dang. You figured it out. You’re smarter than you look, Young Ned! Most people have to take a look at those two cats…or catch a whiff…before they run away. πŸ˜‰

              1. People figuring out you’re smarter than you look? Or taking one look and running away? On a side note, I once told someone who was obviously lying to me that I was smarter than I looked, and they were profusely apologetic. “Oh, I know that!” Like, “No one could be THAT dumb.” πŸ˜€

  3. Best. Title. Ever. I was afraid to read the post for fear it wouldn’t live up to the promise, but recorded sound bites of funny? You’re a techno guru!

    1. It’s good you kept your husband, Lynette. And I’m glad they went to a good home, but as much as I kid about it, cats are cool πŸ˜‰

      Don’t tell them I said that…

  4. Amazing! Not so much your post…but that 33% of commenters have SNS
    (Shooting Nostril Syndrome). We could be facing a epidemic. I’m reporting this to the ABA (American Booger Association).
    I recommend others who haven’t contacted this dubious disease keep their jetty pot on full alert, and of course your hands for 20 minutes every time one sneezes. Stay healthy. – Jim H.

  5. not sure that nacho my cat not the food, would do well on the wine, he is already a bit off, like most creatures i enjoy in the world. i think listening to yoko ono’s solos might have the same effect.

  6. That was hilarious. I never thought about the pet food names. I suspect whoever came up with Old Yeller as a name either never saw the movie and is only vaguely aware it had a dog in it, or is a cat fan.

  7. I actually heard them *crickets*! Yes, sir, I do love the power of words! And as a cat and dog lover (a rare breed in itself am I), I think those food names are apt. Dogs can be trained to do what we want them to and cats? Cats will give us ‘the look’ and let us know what we can do with the training idea.

  8. This was awesome on so many levels. First of all, I’m glad that I can lower my hand now as the only question on my mind was “Where was NWOW? I have a book to finish, gosh darn it!”
    Secondly, cats will forever provide ample content for future posts, photography and internet memes…I even accidently put one in my tomorrow’s post.
    Finally…how did you get your voice to draw those squiggly line bars that resemble a Richter scale graph? I’m kind of impressed!

    1. Thanks, Michelle! And make no mistake, a cat being in tomorrow’s post is no accident. You have been manipulated. Possibly even hypnotized. I’d start pulling the catnip from the garden.

      And those squiggly bars? You should see what they do when I make fart sounds!

  9. HIGHLarious! I’m Laughing… Because only true cat owners can relate. We just put our last kitty to sleep back in November and he was– ahem.. 19 1/2 years old! Yes you read that right! I still have my two puppy dogs but we are done with kitty kats. He was my daughter’s kitty and she went away to college in 2008, we had custody. I wouldn’t/really couldn’t let her have him at school. Never really been a cat person but we have had a couple of good cats and the first one we lost at just shy of 16 was amazing! Loved him! But no more kitties… that really your voice?? if so, that is kind of cool!!! Got a face and now a voice to go with it! πŸ˜‰

    1. Truth be told, I’ve always had a dog and cat; never been without one of each. I have to say, though, 19 1/2 years?! That’s worth at least 18 cat lives! Amazing!

      And yes, that’s my voice; raw and unplugged. Well, actually, my nose was a little plugged…

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