When it comes to 50 Shades of Magic Mike, let me be the voice of reason

image Ask just about any man, and he’ll tell you this past week has been a tough one thanks to the triple-threat of Valentine’s Day, the release of 50 Shades of Grey AND (What’s my safe word!) confirmation of Magic Mike XXL — which I assume means the other 29 sequels to Magic Mike must’ve gone straight to DVD?

Whatever the case, producers say Magic Mike’s plan for a major release everywhere in July is firm, and any talk of an earlier release would be premature — and only through a soft opening.

My point is, all this talk has many men a bit shellshocked from trying to measure up to the unrealistic standards set by Christian Grey and Magic Mike. Especially while trying to compete with the experience of IMAX 3D and THX Surround Sound. Sadly, this has prompted some men to try duplicating the movie experience by using a Mr. Microphone and providing their lovers with a magnifying glass.

So before this gets any more out of control, I will attempt to be the voice of treason… oops, I mean reason!… in this Monday’s upcoming post:

After 50 Shades of Magic Mike, men are trying to recover their manhood

As with every Friday, here’s an audio “sneak peak” of this Monday’s post:


So I hope you’ll join me here or at Long Awkward Pause on Monday for an informative look at the average man’s psyche which, as most men will confess, is exceptionally large…



(Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.)

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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

32 thoughts on “When it comes to 50 Shades of Magic Mike, let me be the voice of reason”

        1. Actually, my 15-year-old son has a couple of pair for football. He calls them “compression shorts.” I told him he has nothing to compress unless it’s his farts…

  1. ha! Reminds me of a WWII joke about the Russians. The Americans were sending war materiel to the Russians fighting Hitler in northern Europe. It was pretty much a carte blanche as Russians soldiers were dying keeping Hitler busy while Anericans made inroads on other fronts. So, the Americans received an huge order for 15 inch condoms to be shipped to the Russians. They manufactured the condoms, packed them, stamped them “MEDIUM” and shipped them to the Russian front. Ha!

    As an aside Ned, i just did a guest post over at Cordelia’s Mom. I would be honored if you had the time time to drop by for a read. http://cordeliasmomstill.com/2015/02/19/the-learning-curve-guest-post-by-paul-curran/#comments Thanks so much. 😀

    1. HAHAHA! What a great story! If they were ribbed they might’ve been useful as tank tracks.

      And thanks for the heads-up, Paul! I’m on deadline today but will definitely pop over later today or this weekend 😉

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