Don’t bother giving your coffee an extra stir, or rubbing your eyes in disbelief, because you read it right! This week’s retrospective of The Door is offering THREE … Three…three (that’s an echo) examples of journalistic Shame, Blame and Brilliance!
For those of you knocking on The Door for the first time…
Go Away!
Haha! Just kidding! The more the merrier! In fact, “the more the merrier” is what the fire marshal has deemed to be the maximum occupancy level in our newsroom, depending on whether anyone in the group has eaten lunch at the Enfermo Taco.
Before we begin, as always, we must join hands and repeat the following mantra in a slow, monotoned voice similar to any character played by Kristen Stewart:
The Door serves as a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.
OK, come with me now as we go back in time through The Door, where journalists here at Siuslaw News have been taping and gluing their favorite newspaper faux pas since the 1970s.
This week, we begin with a fellow Oregon coast newspaper — The World — which seemed, like a lot of newspapers back in 1994, to have rediscovered the word “probe,” and how it can be used as an action word or noun, depending on how it’s, um… inserted. And while most newspapers “probed” sparingly, The World appeared to relish any opportunity for a good probing. As you will see, this is actually a collection of headlines that appeared in The World all in the same week — earning it a hallowed place on The Door.
To be fair, we at Siuslaw News aren’t infallible. It’s just that our infallibility doesn’t involve any probing.
Exhibit A: Below is the work of yours truly. Needless to say, I had some explaining to do. I just thought it was worth noting that, in a town where half of the population is made up of retirees, no one had died since Friday. WOW! Sadly, my editor didn’t share my enthusiasm…
Exhibit B: Because the reporter who pieced together this brilliant work of investigative journalism is still here, I will refrain from using Ryan Cronk’s name. Not that he’d mind, especially since he’s on vacation this week…
And there you have it! Tune in again next Wednesday for the final installment in this month-long retrospective of our newsroom door, assuming my editor hasn’t replaced my computer with an air conditioning unit…
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(Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.)
Ned's Blog 
I think that the staff at The World should probe-ly use a dictionary more often.
Ha! Yes, it would elminate a lot of probe-lems
Squeezing O.J.??? While probing??? Are you sure this is a family paper??? 🙂
Haha! I think it depends on the family…
Well, what else would shoppers do at shops?
Good point. Besides, journalism is about facts; we wouldn’t want anyone jumping to conclusions.
Or assuming Ryan Cronk hasn’t hired a hit man. lol
i love the ‘to the point’ with not a word wasted, obit and the clever shoppers shop line – brilliant.
It’s kind of like journalistic haiku!
yep keepin’ it short
journos waste not with their words
no dilly dally.
(my haiku gift to you)
I stink at Haiku
But yours absolutely rock
My car needs more gas
your sweet wife has said
ned needs not anymore gas
too much already.
I can’t argue that
About my wife being sweet
Or the other thing
Is that the ONLY door to your newsroom? I don’t see a food slot. Probing minds want to know.
Thank you for your deep interest.
OK. Y?
No reason — just making a crack…
Good. I was worried. I think I will have a beer. I need some lubrication.
Probe is one of my favorite verbs. It gives me goose flesh and an occasional erection. Do you have a problem with probe?
Not unless my proctologist is involved.
“Shoppers shopping at shops”: When the editor has lost the will to go on.
“The editor was editing an editorial about shoppers shopping at shops. The there was a gun shot…”
Never mind the shoppers shopping at shops. I want to know what that poodle was fixing to do! I think the obit is to be celebrated. Maybe you should have ended it with “Yay!” ?
“Poodle ponders making a puddle”
I know that’s not exactly the same, but you have to admit there’s a very strong “p” thing going on there…
I’ve served O.J., Ned.
He’d love that headline.
Ha! I’m sure he would! It reminds me of something a comedian said the other day: “Ron Pearlman’s last words were, “Hey, aren’t you OJ?”