The elephant in the room could become your coffee barista

image I actually had an entirely different post planned for today. But when a journalist gets wind of breaking news it takes precident over everything else because no one wants to be the last one to break that wind. Given that this story also involves coffee, I naturally put everything else aside — except for my actual coffee — to pursue a story that took me all the way to the “Golden Triangle” in Asia.

On Google, anyway.

Our newsroom budget could only get me as far as a “Golden Corral” in Arcadia.

Still, what I discovered was the latest development in man’s desire to create the most expensive cup of coffee on the planet. Possibly in the solar system, depending on what aliens serve as their in-flight beverage — although I’m willing to bet it won’t be as disturbing as Black Ivory coffee. I’ll give you the full details in Monday’s upcoming post. However, I will tell you it’s only a matter of time before your local zoo begins offering coffee next to the elephant cages.

In the meantime, here’s an audio preview of this Monday’s post:

No Butts About It, Coffee Choices Are Getting Really Weird


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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

19 thoughts on “The elephant in the room could become your coffee barista”

  1. This is probably the first time I’ve been thankful for my allergy to coffee. You’ll never see tea drinkers looking for someone’s “droppings” and then crushing them into a bag. LOL

        1. From what I understand, it also takes about 15 days, so the longer gestation process is supposed to make coffee less bitter. I usually just solve that problem with cream and sugar.

            1. Actually, we should feed the stuff to giant tortoises and see what happens. I fed my Aldabrans a pumpkin on Thanksgiving, and they’re still pooping out the seeds. Whole. Every time I come in to work, boom. Another pile of seed.

No one is watching, I swear...

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