This just in: New headline failure inducted on our newsroom door

Standing next to our journalistic Mecca... hey, is Ronald Reagan smelling my hair?
Standing next to our journalistic Mecca and… HEY, is Ronald Reagan smelling my hair?!?
We interrupt our month-long retrospect of The Door in our newsroom to bring you this breaking news: At this moment, a new piece of journalistic history is being added to our newsroom door with the kind of fanfare you’d expect when someone is using Scotch tape. That’s right, for only the 112th time in the 40-year history of our door (ask Brian Willaims, he was there), we are inducting a new exhibit piece to what Barbara Walters has called “A journawistic tweasure.”

For those who aren’t familiar with the historic relevancy of The Door, it is home to a collection of newspaper faux pas that have been pasted, glued, taped, licked-and-stuck, or otherwise adhered there by reporters at Siuslaw News since the 1970s. It is a shrine, of sorts, celebrating the kind of journalistic shame, blame and brilliance that can only arise through a well-timed typo, missplelled mispleled a word spelled wrong or, in some cases, chosen specifically for its double entendre.

That brings us to today’s historic addition to The Door, which I’m pretty sure was simply the result of unintentional double entendre thanks to poor word choice. Or possibly a drunken proof reader. Whatever the reason, we are thankful and happy to include it on The Door for posterity — which is especially fitting when you consider there is a commode on the other side.

Before continuing, we must first join hands and repeat the following phrase in a monotoned voice similar to Justin Bieber’s press agent:

The Door is a beacon, guiding us into the jagged rocks of journalism…

Ok, everyone can let go now. I’m sorry if my hands were a little sweaty.

Without further adieu — and quickly, before Joe gives a second curtesy flush — here is the latest addition to The Door…


Before jumping to any conclusions, I should clarify this is a serious medical feature about the connection between fatty weiners and strokes. If you thought differently, well… frankly I’m embarrassed.



(Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, or Barnes & Noble.)

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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

48 thoughts on “This just in: New headline failure inducted on our newsroom door”

  1. Be very embarrassed for me (and I always forget the 2 “r”‘s in that word)….

    I think you have a problem with Ronald…he seems very into your hair. But I can understand that, it’s pretty awesome 🙂

  2. I enjoy holding The Frank as much as the next guy. No, I don’t actually know the next guy, but I assume he enjoys it as much as I do.

  3. As a fellow journalist, I can’t help laughing my ass off at these things. The double entrendres get me laughing the most, though the well-timed typo has been known to have me rolling.

    1. These kinds of flubs get me laughing the hardest. I think it’s because journalism is supposed to be so serious most of the time. Unless it’s FOX News…

  4. Headline writer allowed to keep job; hotdog!

    Only following a frank discussion about the merits of stroking the rim guy’s ego and asking for a second read.

    Oh, Ned, the Door, the Door, long live the Door.

  5. First time I read the title, I read it the way it’s supposed to be read, and had no clue why the image was up…until you spoke of your double-entendre; you guys have a dirty mind.

  6. Brilliant. The best part is that Dr. Fuhrman is going to be immortalized for this boner, and not the editor responsible. (Yes. Yes, I did.)

No one is watching, I swear...

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