We interrupt our month-long retrospect of The Door in our newsroom to bring you this breaking news: At this moment, a new piece of journalistic history is being added to our newsroom door with the kind of fanfare you’d expect when someone is using Scotch tape. That’s right, for only the 112th time in the 40-year history of our door (ask Brian Willaims, he was there), we are inducting a new exhibit piece to what Barbara Walters has called “A journawistic tweasure.”
For those who aren’t familiar with the historic relevancy of The Door, it is home to a collection of newspaper faux pas that have been pasted, glued, taped, licked-and-stuck, or otherwise adhered there by reporters at Siuslaw News since the 1970s. It is a shrine, of sorts, celebrating the kind of journalistic shame, blame and brilliance that can only arise through a well-timed typo,
missplelled mispleled a word spelled wrong or, in some cases, chosen specifically for its double entendre.
That brings us to today’s historic addition to The Door, which I’m pretty sure was simply the result of unintentional double entendre thanks to poor word choice. Or possibly a drunken proof reader. Whatever the reason, we are thankful and happy to include it on The Door for posterity — which is especially fitting when you consider there is a commode on the other side.
Before continuing, we must first join hands and repeat the following phrase in a monotoned voice similar to Justin Bieber’s press agent:
The Door is a beacon, guiding us into the jagged rocks of journalism…
Ok, everyone can let go now. I’m sorry if my hands were a little sweaty.
Without further adieu — and quickly, before Joe gives a second curtesy flush — here is the latest addition to The Door…
Before jumping to any conclusions, I should clarify this is a serious medical feature about the connection between fatty weiners and strokes. If you thought differently, well… frankly I’m embarrassed.