And who could blame you?
I had every intention of writing a short post for Friday morning, explaining how I would be off the grid and away for a family reunion (Mine, not just some random family), and how when I got back it would be on a deadline day (today) — which is like walking into the middle of a circus fire.
But I didn’t get the chance to write that post. Instead, I just disappeared without a word and left everyone in state of panic, wondering: My GOD! Will cranberry chutney leave a permanent stain?!?
So, I’d like to offer a sincere apology to everyone for what may have appeared to be a thoughtless act of self indulgence. The truth is, I put a lot of thought into indulging myself. So much so, that I ran out of time to write a post before I left. But I did bring you back a few photos and a short video. There’s also a T-shirt in the mail to all of you from Sun River, Ore.
And by that I mean one T-shirt, so you’ll have to share…
Unfortunately, my lovely wife wasn’t able to make it. Having her around always makes things better, so my laughter wasn’t quite as deep, and the beautiful surroundings were a little flat. On the other hand, after seeing me in this golf video wearing socks and sandles because of blisters on my feet, she wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere near me anyway.
[Warning: Sun glasses are recommended due to the glare from my legs]
Again, my apologies for the disappearance. And also for those legs.
As I mentioned earlier, it’s deadline day. So I really need to pretend like I’m working…
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(Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation and a member of the writing team at Long Awkward Pause. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. Disclaimer: Even if you choose Ned’s book for summer reading, you should still use sunscreen.)
Ned's Blog 
Well, at least the socks weren’t the classic blue-and-yellow stripes at the top, white athletic socks, pulled up to your knees.
I would have worn those, but I didn’t have the 1970s basketball shorts to go with them.
Good choice. They are an inseparable set. You’re ever the fashionable one, Ned.
Ahhhh, I can feel a release of tension in your writing – analogous to the smooth flawless delivery of the mini-putt ball to the hole. You are on top of your game, in the groove – I feel like the little guy watching with awe from the side of the mini-putt. No doubt the vacation was just the ticket. It may have been the “washers” game – although I’m not sure why you don’t use dryers, they are lighter and don’t require plumbing.
Fun post Ned, great pics of the family and relatives
I look so forward to these reunions, Paul. And not just to play washers. Although I think you have a point about the dryers. A lot lesss back strain.
Did Skippy stow away in your suitcase? Your family didn’t disown you after the thong video?
Those are the burning questions of the day.. which reminds me that I have to get that prescription filled….
I think the burning question is how my shins got sunburned when white is supposed to reflect light!
Shin screen
lmao — the background music was priceless. You crack me up. WB
I always feel like one of the apes in “2001: A Space Oddysse” when I play golf.
The look on that kid’s face…
Hahaha! I didn’t notice him until I watched the raw video… then relaized I had probably traumatized him.
LOL
Forget about missing a deadline, you got some ‘splaining to do. Few fashion felonies are so heinous…
As you can see, I take my golf very seriously, Greg.
I want to know how on earth you played washers on concrete! When you play washers, the first thing you do is walk off the distance and dig three holes in a bare patch of dirt for each side. Unless you have some way of making concrete soft enough to dig…. 😜
We have a set of special boxes, with carpeting on top. Each has three holes. You throw from one box, then to the other until someone wins.
We’re too lazy to dig holes…
All these years, I’ve been calling something completely different “Deschutes”…although the water volume looks the same. Although in my case, the water velocity was a bit more like the firehose scene from Weird Al’s movie “UHF”.
It must be French.
I think that’s how I caught it, yes.
Despite the fact that upon your disappearance we called in the troops to find you, and the blinding legs, and the socks and sandles (Sigh). What the heck is with the “wife beaters?”
You were missed. The smell of bacon disappeared. Hope you had a great time. Oh and you rock at golf or is that mini golf?
Thanks, Gibber 😉 I just keep telling myself there’s bacon in those little cups on the mini course. Or maybe bacon bits.
You’re welcome. Be honest you licked out the golf ball hole in case didn’t you?
Even with bacon involved, that still sounds so very wrong…
I know. It did didn’t it?
Welcome back! Nothing like being surrounded by family to make one appreciate deadline. : )
Haha! I’m appreciating it so hard right now…
Thus Spake ZaraNedstra.
I believe that’s “Spackled.” At least in French.
I just love family reunions! As long as it’s not MY family.
Great video. You look awesome, and I’m not a fan of socks with sandals couture.
I particularly liked the kid in the background wondering if you had lost your mind…
One of my cousins said it takes a “special” man to carry off wearing socks and sandles like that. But I don’t think her idea of “special” was the same as mine.
And yes, when I saw that kid while watching the raw video, I knew he was going to be the star…
When you get sick of saying “Deschutes,” you can concentrate on Lake Butte des Morts. (You can say Lake Butt and laugh, but that’s not the correct pronunciation.)
Lol! We passed “Lava Butte” (“Lava Booty”) along the way and we laughed for a good 15 miles.
Socks with sandals? No, Ned. Just…no!
I had blisters!
And no fashion sense…
But mostly blisters!
You were missed, but that video more than made up for it!
Thanks, grannyK! 😉
Ned, I’ve been reading the comments and making a note of the thrashing you are taking for wearing socks with your sandals. Your detractors are obviously mis-informed. The Roman Legions – arguably the toughest, meanest, most professional, most successful army that ever walked the face of the earth – wore socks with their war sandals. http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2005/may/20/highereducation.artsandhumanities Their culture was so pervasive that our numberingsystem came from them, even our language is based on their Latin.
“Rome left cultures, customs, government, politics, and religion, contributions that to this day have greatly influenced Western Civilization. As Rome expanded on the ideas of the past and bettered them, so should the people of this world expand and elaborate on Rome’s genius.” – http://www.aasd.k12.wi.us/staff/hermansenjoel/apmuseum/kiefferkerkhoff/webpage/contributions.htm
There you have it, you are a man amongst men Ned and wearing socks with your sandals iust just a sign of your manliness and anyone who disagrees should take it up with the Roman Army.
THANK you, Paul! I’m staying with my sandals and socks. I might even add one of those roman skirts.
Something tasteful that goes with your thong – that’s just the ticket.
I may GET a ticket — or citation — before it’s all over.
I may GET a ticket — or citation — before it’s all over…
Only if the wind gets under your skirt….
Didn’t Bette Midler sing a song about that?
I have been so absent from the blogosphere, it’s sad. Hope you are having a good summer. I miss the camaraderie…..
I always love seeing your little typewriter pop up. At the same time, it reminds me I need to spend more time making my ugly mug show up other places 😦
By the way, absent or not, that camaraderie is always out there in the blogosphere 😉
🙂 I’m glad….I’m trying to work my schedule so I have more “me” time and be able to poke my little typewriter into familiar places.
“Me” time seems to work in cycles, and not always in our favor. I have a tendency to fill my time to quickly with commitments — something I’m trying to get better at NOT doing so I can make time for more poking.
Wait, that sounded wrong. Or not…
man rule#1 – if you have blisters from sandals, wear flip flops, if no flip flops are available, wear cowboy boots with daisy duke shorts and a crop top as it is less distracting…do not ever…ever wear socks and sandals as the image burns itself onto the retinas of womens eyes and makes it physically impossible for them to consider sex with a man for a minimum period of 3 days after seeing it. you just sock blocked your fellow man, Ned.
oh! and welcome back…lol..you were missed
Lol! Thanks 😉
Haha! Would it help if I said it was a large pair of socks? Probably not. I suppose it’ll work out OK since it’ll take me three days to find Daisy Dukes…
That would be hilarious if you had crashed some random family reunion. I wonder if there are real family reunion crashers out there?
Only one way to find out… When’s your family reunion?
looks like a great time and hope there are no permanent scars from the squirrel attack.
Only the emotional scars…
BAHAHAHA! I don’t even know where to start!
Congratulations on making that fabulous putt (perhaps, Tiger should stop in for lessons) and for playing that music – a blast from the past! I still have that song in vinyl form.
not.even.kidding 😉
(Welcome back – you were missed!)
Thanks, Michelle! Tiger just left, actually. And he didn’t even hit a tree! I love that theme to Kubrick’s film. Whenever I put it on, my wife knows it’s time to play “The Monolith and the Monkey.”
Yep, “50 Shades” has got nothing on me…
LOL! Sounds like you have way better things to do than play putt-putt 😉
Reblogged this on awesomeastic and commented:
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COOL AND FUNNY!
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Looks like fun 🙂 Wasn’t Cranberry Chutney a famous stripper?
Only at Thanksgiving 😉
Nice putt! Looks like a great family vacation. We just had ours as well, but didn’t make it to the putt putt place this year. Welcome back and thanks a lot for the t-shirt.
Thanks, Susan! And it’s probably just as well that you didn’t make the putt putt course. When I asked for a driver, everyone left anyway.
Glad you liked the T-shirt. I’m not sure who gets it next, but I’m sure they’ll be in touch 😉
I have missed you… but I have been gone too. I had family time as well! But they were at MY house! 😀
Glad you’re/we’re back!!! 😉
Me too, Courtney! Good to see you back 😉
You’ve been missing?
I thought I felt a lack of disturbance in the Force…
I think it was probably just flatulence…
Great Post!
internationalawunderstanding.blogspot.com
Thank you!