It’s my third day in charge while our publisher and editor are away, and after Margarita Monday and Tequilla Tuesday here at the office, everyone agreed we need a day to recoup and probably clean up. No hard liquor today so that we can remain focused and professional between our new hours of 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., with the office closing for lunch from noon to 1 p.m.
To make the most of the two business hours we’re open, I packed up the tequilla. Sometimes as a leader you have to make unpopular decisions for the good of the company. I realize some folks aren’t happy that I’m cracking the whip, but we’ll just have to get through Wine Wednesday without the hard liquor.
Our first order of business will be to straighten up the office. It actually looks worse than it is. Bill’s desk, which is the one in the middle, remains virtually untouched by the partying. Although I think the pirate flag is new. Still, it’s a little embarrassing since there’s no place to set up the wine bar.
Our second order of business will be to find out who these two people are.
It’s a small office. When complete strangers are passed out on the floor near the copy machine, people tend to notice.
Our third order of business will be to change back all of our automated phone greetings, which our office manager, Kathleen, re-did on Margarita Monday in a really bad Scotish accent. We’re all really hoping that when she wakes up she’ll stop calling everyone “LADDIE!”
The weird thing is, I’m pretty sure she’s Canadian.
Anyway, wish us luck! If you happen to be in the area between 11 a.m. and noon, or 1 and 2 p.m., stop by the office for a cup of wine! And a scone! At least I think it’s a scone. Come to think of it, the door stop to our office door is missing…
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(Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation and a member of the writing team at Long Awkward Pause. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.)
Ned's Blog 
This is hilarious. I love your writing.
Thanks, Colleen!
Wait… have you been drinking? š
yes.
We’ll be expecting you, then.
Sounds like a great place to work. I’m in!
Are you guys hiring? Because I know a certain plaid-wearing wine-sipping girl that would fit right in…
You won’t even need an interview. Especially if you bring wine.
I brought wine to the interview, but drank it all in the waiting room while flipping through an old issue of Highlights. Then, I went to stretch my legs, but got arrested for loitering in the hall near the adjoining offices. Then I got into a fight with your building’s security guard, all the while claiming self-defense. He tased me until I gave him $20, which was all the money I had to buy more wine with. So, yeah, that’s why I do not currently have the wine with me. Am I still hired?
Calahan, we’re in the buidling across the street. But you’re hired anyway.
Wine bar! Say no more. Maybe I could drive up there by noon. I better hurry. Cabs are my favorite. There’s my little request.
I’ll hide a bottle near a work station, Amy! No one will ever look there…
I trust you, Ned…No drinking my bottle!
I’m more of a Chardonnay drinker, so you’re Cab is safe with me!
Yay! I’ll bring some cheese. š
Hmmm – were you going to call it Wine Wednesday anyway, or did my comment on your last post help you create this post? Either way, I am more than happy to participate in Wine Wednesday – now that we’re in the digital age, physical distance is no bar to mutual partying. On my way for the wine now …
It was either that or Weed Wednesday, and none of us can afford the calories for that. See you soon!
Embrace your inner lush I say! And, I’m actually an awesome writer AND REALLY Scottish! So, no one would notice a slur! š I need another job too….. Vodka, Whiskey, Absynth, Yes the imported version but you didn’t read that from me. Lol! When do I start??? š LOL
Perfect! By thee way, you started yesterday ā where ARE you?!?
Didn’t you see me? I was the blurry figure racing about. I got two articles published and ready to go to print and answered all the calls you guys missed. I think at one point you were singing to your wine glass. .. it’s OK, I got your back! š
That WAS you! Thanks for having my back. And for keeping me on key. I usually blow it when I get to the chorus of “16 Tons.”
“And what do you get?” Your welcome!
lol… seems like a fun place to work… have fun cleaning up and try not to wine too much… sorry I couldn’t stop myself…
Thanks, RG. We’ll try to put a cork in the wining… š
wassail wednesday is in full swing in my kindergarten. and it feels right.
And the more wassailing you do, the more righter it feels ā or so I was told by my kindergarten teacher…
Thirsty Thursday, here we come!
It’s thinking more like Throbbing Thursday, minus the sexual innuendo.
I find it hard to believe you’ve made it this far into the week without a staff belly shots tournament. Pitiful. Just pitiful.
Have you seen our staff?
Point taken. Excluding yourself. Of course. *grin*
At least the power hasn’t gone to your head, Ned…
That’s only because the liquor got there first.
I don’t want it to be Wednesday! Why can’t we go right to Friday? Where’s the booze? Did you guys drink it all? This week is too long. Do we really have to work 2 hours a day? Taking out my breaks, blogging and solitaire games, that’s more than I’m working now.
Wait, what do you mean it isn’t WHINE Wednesday? Oh, you mean WINE, sorry.
š
Wine Wednesday, Gracie? Are you sure that shouldn’t be Whine Wednesday? š
We don’t wait for Wednesdays for that.
just like earthquake attack lol
m.youtube.com/channel/UC_mMTD7q0N_4SyOl0Tusypw/videos?itct=CAAQhGciEwjU5of3r4DIAhVqE34KHV2RBeM%3D&gl=ID&client=mv-google&hl=en
I think I want you to be my boss…Pass the wine.
Wasn’t that a line from “50 Shades of Gray?”
I don’t know was it?
So I’ve heard…
I’m reading your “Week in Charge” completely backward but have already decided to send you my resume’.
I’ll plan to bring Rum Runners to my screening interview.
As far as I’m concerned this WAS the interview. You’re hired. But bring the rum runners anyway!
Oops! Sorry I missed you.
I was the chic laying by the copier š
I thought I recognized those boots.
So you listened….I’m slightly embarrassed for my comment of yesterday, but we were having a Martini Monday over here.
No problem, Pieter. I don’t even remember Monday.
It’s today. I think.
…please stop yelling…
What kind of slave driver makes his workers toil away until they pass out by the copier? Undoubtedly because your 11 to 2 schedule has no morning or afternoon rest breaks. How cruel and heartless can you be? Give ’em a break at 11:30 and 1:30 for heaven’s sake. Then they have time for an Irish coffee and some Irish yoga.
Now I feel bad.
Hey, I do bring donuts.That has to count for something…