(I’m over at Long Awkward Pause today with a Special Live News Report for LAP-TV, which I should clarify has nothing to do with a lap-mounted camera…)
ALBERTA, Canada — In an unprecedented move aimed at easing tensions between the U.S. and Canada following Justin Bieber’s request for permanent U.S. citizenship, Canadian officials have agreed to what they are calling a “mutually offensive compromise” by granting temporary citizenship to one staff member from Long Awkward Pause.
“We think allowing anyone from LAP citizenship in our country for 24 hours is more than enough to make up for 10 years of Justin Bieber,” said Pierre Bidet, a spokesman who helped broker the decision. “However, if there is an attempt to extend the citizenship beyond 24 hours, we are prepared to jettison Rob Ford across the channel and into Seattle.”
After hours of closed-door deliberation, LAP announced it had selected a representative and, coincidentally, run out of beer. “From what we remember from the meeting, the two aren’t related,” said LAP staff member Jack DeVoss. “But we chose Ned because he was the most qualified. Plus he got there late and was sober.” (More at LAP…)
Ned's Blog 
Ha! What fun! Try not to cause an international incident.
I promise not to bring back any fruit.
How is my country/province going to handle a Ned Hickson?!
There’s no telling. And by that I mean I’ve been asked not to tell.
I believe that!
Great tic! Enjoyed. Still smiling
Thanks! Keep smiling! It makes people nervous after a while…
I think I’ve already managed to do that 🙂
I THOUGHT that was you!
haha! yes, it’s me!
Ha haaaa… as always… and I just found out I’ve covered every place in Canada you’ve been… 🙂 I was born in Alberta, lived most in BC, and spend every August in Nova Scotia… I like to think I’m not just your no. 1 groupie now, but I’ve also honestly earned, at least top 5, Cdn. stalker status too!
Hahaha! I thought I recognized you! 😉
Is this intended to solidify your campaign for president? No doubt the voters will line up behind the keg -er, I mean, you. Haha!
Happy New Year Ned!
You think it will help?
The keg, I mean.
And a Happy New Year to you, too, Tara!
Only if it’s a good quality all-‘Merica beer, like Budweiser.
*sends back Dos Eques keg*
Don’t do it… we need more land…
There’s always the Moon
I already have dibs on that… for my next secret hideout… the hollow volcano is getting crowded…
Ok, you can have Uranus too. But I get Endor.
Ironic choice in light of the series I am doing now on my blog…
It’s our common cosmic-ness.
that is so… sweet?
Lol Ned, Canada will welcome you gladly, especially in exchange for Bieber, LOL 🙂
Doesn’t seem a fair trade. To either country, really…
I’d sponsor you over him any day, lol 🙂
Does this mean you have diplomatic immunity now?
I think it’s more like I’m a carrier.
Hi Ned!
I love it when you write aboot Canada. It’s my favourite subject 😉
Sorry that I’ve been gone for so long–had to help Fr. Robert over the holidays. xo
Helping Fr. Robert is very honourable, Michelle!
Besides, I’m the one who should be apologizing. But now that the “A Star is Born” competition and holidays are over, I’m looking forward to having the time to visit my favourite writers again 😉
Nicely doune, Ned!