This Just In: Madman in charge of newsroom this week



[Breaking News from another strangely irrelevant moment in our newsroom…]

Our editor is on vacation this week. That means I’m in charge. And by “in charge” I mean putting my feet up on the editor’s desk and yelling “Someone get me a photo of that menacing wallcrawler SPIDER-MAN!”

Because this is a nonsmoking building, I do this while waving a giant chocolate cigar around. Yesterday for added effect, I slammed my hand down on the editor’s desk for emphasis. That’s when I realized the cigar had liquor inside. When our office manager came in and found me licking the desk, it got uncomfortable for everyone. Β 

So, today I’m just sticking to assigning stories. Being that we’re a small newspaper, we sometimes get scooped by the larger newspapers in our area. This morning, for example, I saw this headline in the Eugene Register-Guard. Sure, they may have broken the story, but we’re going to get the real story by digging deeper to find out who this “Bill” guy is…

Just who does Bill thank he IS?

Whoever he is, “Bill” isn’t getting away with this.

Not on MY watch.

And someone get me a photo of that web-headed SPIDER-MAN!


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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

27 thoughts on “This Just In: Madman in charge of newsroom this week”

  1. Since when did licking the desk become uncomfortable? Goodness…it’s such a PC world these days.
    Personally, I’m happy to hear that you’re in charge for a week — I’m sure you’ll be in the middle of several blog-worthy and/or jail bond-worthy stories. Can’t wait to read more. πŸ™‚

  2. Can you please fill in when my boss is on vacation?

    I don’t smoke but our entire campus is non smoking. The previous smoking areas are gone. Smokers must go to their cars which is a 10 minute walk…one way. The break is 15 mins. I see chocolate becoming the new tobacco.

  3. I used to run the educational services department of the Philly Inquirer. On Fridays we ran a page of lesson plans that I would write Thursday night using the material presented in Friday’s paper at the Thursday budget meeting. I used to muse about being editor for just one day. Alas, they never get me the nod so I am living vicariously through you and enjoying it thoroughly. Bill… watch out!

No one is watching, I swear...

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