Being a journalist, I am trained to notice the most subtle signs of something amiss.
A hesitant glance.
A bead of sweat.
A chair that appears to be built backwards.
So, as I walked through our composition department this morning on my way to the news room, I immediately noticed that Peggy’s standard-issue office chair had been replaced with a broken piece of furniture. Who would do this to poor Peggy with the lower back problems? Why not replace her desk with a TV tray while you’re at it? Maybe we could move the copy machine on top of a book shelf so she has to use a ladder!
Poor, poor Peggy.
Then I remembered her mentioning she was getting a new “ergonomic” chair. Using the deductive skills I’ve developed over 16 years as a journalist, I came to the following conclusion:
This must be her new chair.
I stared at it for a moment, trying to picture how one would ergonomically sit in it. I decided there was only one way to find out — a process that was captured by one of our office’s surveillence cameras…
My first instinct was to delete these images. But then I thought of the hundreds, perhaps dozens, of others like me who could find themselves in a similar situation. Probably not with Peggy’s chair, but one like it. If I could help even one person avoid a visit to the hospital while trying to figure out how to sit in their ergonomic chair, it will have been worth it.
In an unrelated matter, does anyone know a good chiropractor?
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Ned's Blog 
You aren’t old until you can’t figure out a chair – or how to get out of it.
Don’t even get me started on bean-bag chairs…
I once spent a week in one because I couldn’t get up – don’t fall for that one!
I’ve seen our dog try getting out of our daughter’s bean-bag chair. That was enough for me.
1. That surveillance camera is honed pretty tight on ‘Poor Peggy’. Does she steal things?
2. Perhaps that new chair is less about her lower back and more about ease of frisking by security?
3. Great that you figured out the chair but Security probably isn’t thrilled that you blew operation “Catch Peggy Red-Handed”. They might assume you are an informant and part of the racket!
4. Get out while you can! Call your wife to flush all the Post-It notes and throw the other stuff in a neighbour’s dumpster!
Good thinking! I’ll write myself a Post-It to remember to get rid of my Post-It’s!
Oh! Ned. I bought one of those chairs long ago and went through a very similar process of investigation. It never helped my back. My knees have never been the same. After a week it went back to Staples. Thanks for the laugh this morning.
If only Peggy had gotten her chair sooner, I could have saved you all that suffering…
What the what! I think someone is pulling a prank on Poor Peggy! Oy, that just looks plain uncomfortable, with the exception of the shot of you with your ass in the air, that just looks funny!
My ass gets that a lot, actually…
Were WE speaking of ergonomic chairs?? I don’t remember speaking about ergonomic chairs.. Maybe YOU were speaking of ergonomic chairs, but it wasn’t with me… I don’t think? WERE we speaking of ergonomic chairs??? *scratches chin* Hmmm…
I don’t like those kind of chairs unless they also come with an upper rest for my body and somewhere for me to put my face! You know.. like a massage chair! Now THAT’s an ergonomic chair worth discussing!! he he! 😛
I swear, If I see anyone walking around the office with a face ring from their massage chair, I’m going to be pissed!
ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! What? You don’t think Peggy should have a massage chair? She IS having back problems after all! 😉
That kind of thinking is NEVER going to get me a message chair, Lynn!
Message chair. Massage chair… I’ll take either one…
HA HA! Glad you caught that because I was really gonna have fun with that slip!! 😉
Did I change my name to Lynn? I don’t think I changed my name to Lynn?? Maybe I did and forgot??? Hmmmmm…
HaHaHa! Holy S@#T! I need that massage chair worse than I thought, Courtney! 😉
Whew… glad it’s still Courtney! Or is it??? 🙂
Now you’re just messing with my mind, Courtney-Lynn… 😉
he he he! 🙂
lol Our ergonomic boss, either on a whim of concern regarding lower back health, or, more likely, in a bid to extract a deeper layer of sadistic pleasure from his minions, replaced all the office chairs with a batch lot of these things. Poor Peggy, indeed! Though, I do feel duty bound to point out that she now has a distinct, dare I say, unfair advantage in the office chair racing stakes – put $10 on her for me when the time comes… 😉
If I can use the Superman position, I’ll smoke her on those races. Just sayin’ 😉
No, that’s not the ergonomic chair. That’s Peggy’s punishment for messing up something at work really badly: now she has to work standing on her knees, and there’s a security camera to check that she’s not cheating.
That would also explain why there’s no toilet paper in the employee restroom, too. Damn! Why must we ALL be punished!
You are indeed a hoot Ned..
xx
Sooz
As long as I’m not a Hooter… 😉
Ooooooowwwwww, I would LOVE that!!!! Hehehehehehehe….I’d show you MINE if you showed me YOURS…… 😉
xx
Sooz
As far as I’m concerned, those so-called “chairs” are tailored for cartoon anatomy rather than the actual human form, as evidenced by Lisa Simpson’s many years of using one without once screaming in agony.
Excellent points. And so is her hair, actually…
Ned, even when you were allegedly sat on it correctly, it didn’t look right.
Are you sure there aren’t any more bits to it
I should look around and see if there are any pieces laying around. I’m already on my hands and knees anyway…
You’re a one-man party, Ned Hickson…
I have to be. No one ever invites me to parties…
You too?
Must be anti-blogger sentiment…
On the positive side, I’ve never woken up in my own vomit in someone else’s yard. My own yard doesn’t count…
Of course not.
They got you. They knew it would mess with your mind. Ned you’re a journalist, you can’t fall for the conspiracies! It did however give me a great belly laugh!
From the pictures, it seems more appropriate to call this the office chair version of pole dancing. Hence the camera. Hence the lack of anyone visibly working in the background. Assume either Peggy was on her break getting her tassels adjusted, or you were doing a practice run for a return engagement of the infamous red briefs……
The thought of me doing all that in a red thong even give ME the shivers…
Hilarious as usual, Ned. Thank goodness.
Ergonomic my arse! This was designed by someone who had a major tiff with a chiropractor.
There is a sticker on the bottom: Approved by the American Chiropractic Association.
Who benefits the most when I need an adjustment after sitting in this thing?
I’m not even sure what you did on that thing but I wouldn’t call it sitting.
Good point. Whatever it was, it wasn’t as nature had intended.
Nope. Not even close. That was not age appropriate.
Don;’t worry, no one has ever accused me of being age appropriate…
I’m sorry, the only thing that comes to mind here is … do you ever get any work done? Obviously you lost at least an hour of productive time figuring out what is clearly a new cat climber thingy.
Lol! That IS my work. Who else is going to do it?
I’m so there. I want to test drive furniture and get paid while doing it. I’d include housewares and appliances too.
Kitchenware pays more because of the increased danger.
That is absolutely hilarious Ned – I cracked up sitting here reading. I honestly could not see how it was a chair until you figured it out. I’m afraid that 1) my old knees would seize up after a short time and I would have to be lifted with the chair into an ambulance or 2) once I got down that low, I’d never get back up – although I’d be able to keep the floor around the area clean – much like an irobot, you’d find me whirring out from under the coach and headed for the floor under the kitchen table where the crumbs always drop.
Hahaha! Well, if you ever need a place to stay and steady work…
All I ask is that you please lift your feet so I can go under – it saves rolling all the way around.
I had one of those and really liked it. I think I’m in the minority here …
That’s OK, Lynette. You’re still welcome here 😉