Speaking of ergonomic chairs, does anyone know a good chiropractor?

imageBeing a journalist, I am trained to notice the most subtle signs of something amiss.

A hesitant glance.

A bead of sweat.

A chair that appears to be built backwards.

So, as I walked through our composition department this morning on my way to the news room, I immediately noticed that Peggy’s standard-issue office chair had been replaced with a broken piece of furniture. Who would do this to poor Peggy with the lower back problems? Why not replace her desk with a TV tray while you’re at it? Maybe we could move the copy machine on top of a book shelf so she has to use a ladder!

Poor, poor Peggy.

Then I remembered her mentioning she was getting a new “ergonomic” chair. Using the deductive skills I’ve developed over 16 years as a journalist,  I came to the following conclusion:

This must be her new chair.

I stared at it for a moment, trying to picture how one would ergonomically sit in it. I decided there was only one way to find out — a process that was captured by one of our office’s surveillence cameras… 

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Was this thing even put together right?

 

This seemed logical but provided even less ergonomic benefit than your standard commode

Seems logical but provides less ergonomic benefit than your standard commode

 

Maybe they come in different sizes and I'm too big?

Maybe they come in different sizes and I’m too big?

 

Maybe if I want to play Superman?

Hey, I can play Superman!

 

I think I'm on to something

Wait, I think I’m on to something…

 

This still doesn't seem right

… Not, still doesn’t seem right

 

Sometimes our cat does this on the arm of the couch

Sometimes our cat does this on the arm of the couch

 

Definitely not it

Definitely not right

 

Maybe it was upside down?

Maybe it was upside down?

 

I GOT it!

I GOT it!

 

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Oh crap…

 

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My first instinct was to delete these images. But then I thought of the hundreds, perhaps dozens, of others like me who could find themselves in a similar situation. Probably not with Peggy’s chair, but one like it. If I could help even one person avoid a visit to the hospital while trying to figure out how to sit in their ergonomic chair, it will have been worth it.

In an unrelated matter,  does anyone know a good chiropractor?

 

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55 thoughts on “Speaking of ergonomic chairs, does anyone know a good chiropractor?

  1. 1. That surveillance camera is honed pretty tight on ‘Poor Peggy’. Does she steal things?
    2. Perhaps that new chair is less about her lower back and more about ease of frisking by security?
    3. Great that you figured out the chair but Security probably isn’t thrilled that you blew operation “Catch Peggy Red-Handed”. They might assume you are an informant and part of the racket!
    4. Get out while you can! Call your wife to flush all the Post-It notes and throw the other stuff in a neighbour’s dumpster!

  2. Oh! Ned. I bought one of those chairs long ago and went through a very similar process of investigation. It never helped my back. My knees have never been the same. After a week it went back to Staples. Thanks for the laugh this morning.

  3. What the what! I think someone is pulling a prank on Poor Peggy! Oy, that just looks plain uncomfortable, with the exception of the shot of you with your ass in the air, that just looks funny!

  4. Were WE speaking of ergonomic chairs?? I don’t remember speaking about ergonomic chairs.. Maybe YOU were speaking of ergonomic chairs, but it wasn’t with me… I don’t think? WERE we speaking of ergonomic chairs??? *scratches chin* Hmmm…
    I don’t like those kind of chairs unless they also come with an upper rest for my body and somewhere for me to put my face! You know.. like a massage chair! Now THAT’s an ergonomic chair worth discussing!! he he! 😛

  5. lol Our ergonomic boss, either on a whim of concern regarding lower back health, or, more likely, in a bid to extract a deeper layer of sadistic pleasure from his minions, replaced all the office chairs with a batch lot of these things. Poor Peggy, indeed! Though, I do feel duty bound to point out that she now has a distinct, dare I say, unfair advantage in the office chair racing stakes – put $10 on her for me when the time comes… 😉

  6. No, that’s not the ergonomic chair. That’s Peggy’s punishment for messing up something at work really badly: now she has to work standing on her knees, and there’s a security camera to check that she’s not cheating.

  7. As far as I’m concerned, those so-called “chairs” are tailored for cartoon anatomy rather than the actual human form, as evidenced by Lisa Simpson’s many years of using one without once screaming in agony.

  8. They got you. They knew it would mess with your mind. Ned you’re a journalist, you can’t fall for the conspiracies! It did however give me a great belly laugh!

  9. From the pictures, it seems more appropriate to call this the office chair version of pole dancing. Hence the camera. Hence the lack of anyone visibly working in the background. Assume either Peggy was on her break getting her tassels adjusted, or you were doing a practice run for a return engagement of the infamous red briefs……

  10. I’m sorry, the only thing that comes to mind here is … do you ever get any work done? Obviously you lost at least an hour of productive time figuring out what is clearly a new cat climber thingy.

  11. That is absolutely hilarious Ned – I cracked up sitting here reading. I honestly could not see how it was a chair until you figured it out. I’m afraid that 1) my old knees would seize up after a short time and I would have to be lifted with the chair into an ambulance or 2) once I got down that low, I’d never get back up – although I’d be able to keep the floor around the area clean – much like an irobot, you’d find me whirring out from under the coach and headed for the floor under the kitchen table where the crumbs always drop.

No one is watching, I swear...

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