Poetic justice could mean a jail sentence for my poetry





Those are three words I never expected to be associated with. Especially that second one, which I’m still scratching my head about. But tonight, I’ll be joining seven other men for Round 2 of the “Who Is the Sexiest Number?” at The Public Blogger.

The objective is to write your sexiest poetry.

That’s right: Me, a humor columnist, bringing on “the sexy” against young rappers and artists. Let’s be honest, bringing “the sexy” is hard enough by myself. Believe me, I know.

Wait… not that I know what it’s like being sexy by myself. I just meant when I’m by myself it’s already hard… I mean tough! It’s tough writing poetry!


This could be really ugly.

Anyway, the polls are open and the poetry is posted HERE. Vote for your favorite or simply come to watch my horrible poetry trainwreck. I’ll warn you that I tried to be provocative with my own type of… uh…


I’ll let you be the judge…

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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

33 thoughts on “Poetic justice could mean a jail sentence for my poetry”

      1. And darn it! I missed the voting. Loved your bacon poem…sizzling indeed. What a cool competition. Is there more? Just seeing if I need that second fainting couch. 🙂

        1. Lol! Thanks, Michelle. I’m honestly not sure what happens next. If I make it through, there’ll be another round this Sunday — whatever it is. And the final is June 2…? I’m just having fun with it. No pressure. It’s only my sexiness on the line, right?

  1. The only thing sexier then a yummy plate of delicious, smoky, melt in your mouth porky deliciousness called bacon (and you of course) would be a big heart shaped tin filled with delicious yummy artery clogging bacon dipped ever so lovingly, gently and deeply in mood setting, pheromone turn on rich, velvety , sweet milky chocolate!!! Maybe several small packages of that porky goodness dip in different flavored milk chocolate! Add a bit of hit pepper to the chocolate for some spicy deliciousness.. Or dipped in half white and half milk chocolate… Add in a package of yummy porky, smoky, spicy bacon dipped in… Heart healthy deep dark chocolate! I’m not a doctor, but I do believe the dark chocolate will probably counter act the artery clogging properties of that tasty porky bacon!!!
    Next year for Valentine’s Day, the love of my life is getting a huge tin filled with chocolatey, porky yumminess… delicousness and lovingly hand dipped by me in all sorts of of velvety smooth and chocolates all wrapped in pretty and porky paper… He gave me his heart.. Hopefully I don’t give that loving heart a heart attack!!!
    Keep up the bacon poetry and it will make you famous for more then just being sexy!

No one is watching, I swear...

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