Our local library.
If you’re looking for me, I’ll be the one hunched over my ipad in a cubical near the “Periodicals” section, working on the final draft of my book, Humor at the Speed of Life, which is due Aug. 16. I realize my deadline is a whole month away. I also realize I am easily distracted, which is why I chose to put myself in a cubical, away from television, snacks, my beautiful wife and reliable wi-fi service. However, I don’t plan to be a total slacker. I will still be posting this week’s entry for The Door tomorrow, as well as Flashback Sunday on… uh, Sunday.
If you happen to be in the neighborhood of the Siuslaw Public Library, stop in and say “Hi!” But not too loudly; the librarian carries a taser — and she has really good aim. If I’m laying facedown, it’s only because I’m concentrating really hard.
Or I’ve been tased.
Either way, I’ll be glad to see you.
Ned's Blog 
Lucky you. Because proofreading is where the real fun begins!
Don’t I now it!
I see what you did there. Pretty cleaver.
I can’t wait to read your book. I already die laughing at the blog. I may not recover after reading a whole book.
In that case, I will need you to sign a waiver 😉
I predict you will be the next Dave Bury.
It’s Berry. Jeez.
Oh. Chuck. Whiz.
these conversations totally go to Ned’s head. stop it.
Chicken?
I’m the other white meat.
Vanilla Ice?
Danish cream
♫ Come on and eat me I’m a danish oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♫
Oh wait, that’s Rock Me Amadeus….
♫ I’m a danish I’m a danish uh uh uh oh ♫
That’s it. You’re going on “Don’t Forget the Lyrics” as soon as Wayne Brady needs his job back.
As long as I don’t have to know the actual lyrics to ‘Rocket Man’, I’m OK.
Then what you’re saying is you do know the lyrics to Tiny Dancer..?
I sing it during my puppet shows.
I live for Tuesdays.
DON’T. MAKE. ME. MISS. THE. DOOR.
Other than that. Carry on.
Oh. Please don’t look behind you, but I told the library to stop putting out my pictures all over the SHAPE mags….
Wait. Maybe it’s the ROAD AND TRACK…yeah that’s prob more like it.
Just don’t forget the door. It’s a beacon…blah blah blah…
It’s comforting to see Ted is not sitting in the children’s section.
Or the porn….
Our library doesn’t have a porn section, not counting Animal Husbandry.
The Suislaw library must have received a large donation from Paul Reubens.
That would be the Pee-Wee room.
Not until the puppet show…
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Ned performs the puppet version of “Jason and the Argonauts”.
I can animate three hand puppets at once. But I can’t tell you how.
Pinocchio?
…Plus Geppetto and the giant whale.
The blue fairy has a taser.
I’m on the cover of In Shape next month. They’re doing spheres…
That’s fine. I gave them your name anyway while I’m on shoot for the cover of sports illustrated. Hugh and I had a disagreement about the cover and centerfold of…..
I hear he can be difficult. I sent my column to Hugh for several years, hoping he’d print one of them. Eventually, he wrote me back:
Stop sending me this stuff. You’re scaring the girls.
— Hugh
Well. No wonder.
It was your cover and centerfold.
That skank.
I think it was because my [censored] was in the fold.
Yes. I remember Hugh being upset that he thought you had outdone him.
I bet the chairs there are uncomfortable. 😦
Just one more thing to keep me from dozing off.
I’m confused, why would you want to be away from reliable Wi-Fi? This does not compute.
SQUIRREL!
…. exactly…. 😉
A library…the phrase seems familiar, but so so distant in my memory.
Is that the bookstore that annoying doesn’t offer price tags? Or was it the hard copy of Wikipedia?
Both. And by the way, the librarian asked me to remind you that “To Kill a Mocking Bird” is now 53 years overdue…
Well, Boo
Those birds die hard
It’s that sweat and tea cakes 😉
Sorry I’ve been away! But I am SOOOO excited for your book! Also, I hope you know that as a one of those nerds that used to spend my life in the library to get my papers done and study, the library offers a lot of distractions…. May I suggest some blinders? I hope you have a wonderful vacation and remember to enjoy life 🙂 I would even to so far as to maybe do some work under a tree 🙂 …preferably one with no birds living in it.
Hey Stranger! No worries 🙂 I know the new job doesn’t allow as much blog time. As for the library, the only place I can set up is in the lobby, which has a constant flow of people in and out. I just have my ear buds and AC/DC going, which pretty much works as blinders. My hope is to get this manuscript done by Thursday night so I can at least enjoy a few days off before I go back Monday.
Oh great… a bird just pooped on my iPad screen.
What the heck is a bird doing in the library?!? 😉
Haha! 🙂 Well, I will be wishing a speedy finish so that you may enjoy your much deserved vacation 🙂
Thank you! 🙂
Ah, the library. I always find myself curled up with a book that has nothing to do with what I’m supposed to be doing. Hope the draft is coming along well! And if it’s not, you can always see if some electricity will jump start your creativity! Or coffee. Coffee is better.
I find drinking coffee while sticking my thumb drive into a wall socket always gets the juices flowing…
When my daughter takes her laptop to work, to the local wi-fi cafe for a coffee, i have to figure out what to do, mainly go to the library to write. But sometimes, I write down on paper what I will blog about and hope to get it better from this manner. I think proofreading is a pain! But a necessity. Good luck and looking forward to your upcoming novel! Liked your photos on the past library post and this, too. You look too wide awake and cheery still!