For those of you wondering what all the fuss is about, I should explain that The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance) is located in our newsroom and is home to a collection of the best and worst examples of newspaper journalism, clipped and pasted to it by reporters here at Siuslaw News since the 1970s — back when truth was defined in black and white, yet the line between nose hair and mustaches was a little grey. For more than 40 years, The Door has served as a sentinel, preserving journalistic history while, simultaneously, preserving breathable air serving as the door to our commode.
As we do each Tuesday, we will now highlight a clipping, but not before keeping a tradition established decades ago by reporters in this very office.
And you’ll just have to trust me on that.
Join hands with me and, speaking in a monotoned voice similar to Hillary Clinton during a renewal of vows ceremony, repeat the following:
The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.
Let us get to it…
This week’s entry comes from 1993, when The Oregonian published this informative journalistic piece of investigative journalism information…
It isn’t clear whether the headline came with the original Associated Press article or was the masterstroke of a headline editor at the newspaper where, apparently, they aren’t paid by the hour, but by how many times they use the word “report.” However, the most important thing is that it took members of the Texas Congress 668 pages and 18 months to determine, “We really need more reports.”
That’s what the reporter reportedly reported, anyway…
Ned's Blog 
reports are good to have.
Yes, you can never have too many reports. Especially if the cost of bathroom tissue keeps going up…
Today I will shout it from the mountain top or 100 feet of elevation, the most we can find here in Illinois.
THE DOOR IS A FREAKING BEACON, PEOPLE, SO DEAL WITH IT AND BE DRAWN INTO THE JAGGED ROCKS OF MONKEYS FLYING OUT OF MY BUTT.. AND JOURNALISM
What they failed to mention is that there was only one letter on each page.
I hear you.
Seriously, I could.
And I’m sure the next report will include a report on that report.
Do not resort to deporting the report retorter.
Hahahaha! 🙂
What would the government do if they ever ran out of reports to read? Would they order more reports or actually do something about the reports? The world may never know…
Also, 668 pages in 18 months? It would take them at least a decade to get through Game of Thrones. Tisk Tisk!
Lol! Good points 🙂 Can you imagine if the government did a book report on Game of Thrones? I think I just gave myself a headache…
Once again, after audibly chanting in my best monotone, I can report that I love this.
Thank you for for the mono 😉