Not until settling into my spot here at the library, for what I hope is the last day of manuscript revisions, did I begin to suspect I may have had too much coffee this morning. My first clue was a remark from someone I was chatting with who, in mid-sentance, suddenly remarked: “Did you know you never blink?”
I laughed. “Of course I do. I’m blinking right now.”
“Um, no. You’re not. Seriously — can you blink?”
The problem began last night, when I stayed up until midnight working on the final draft, then was up again this morning at 5 a.m. for a walk with my wife. We drank coffee together at a small diner along the way, then came home to more coffee. Then another cup during my Thursday morning visit with my Mom — followed by a trip to the drive-thru at Dutch Bros for a large Carmelizer before arriving at the library.
The second clue to my over-caffeination was a trip to the men’s room, where I laid down what we firefighters call “an aggressive and sustained attack” that lasted through two urinal partners.
The good news is that I’m definitely awake and being productive. The bad news is that my eyeballs are drying out and I am on my eighth urinal sidekick.
If the book goes well, maybe I could become the spokesman for Visine and Depends..?