Excuse me, but I really need to get… The Door

The Door... sentinel of journalistic history and protector of olfactory senses prior to flushing.

The Door… sentinel of journalistic history and protector of olfactory senses prior to flushing.

Do NOT adjust your screen! There is nothing wrong with your computer! Unless, like mine, you’ve actually seen it in a 1980s movie, where it represented the era’s most advanced computer technology as part of a high-tech military defense system that becomes self aware. But assuming you’re looking at a screen smaller than an industrial sized microwave oven, then yes β€” you really are seeing an image of The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance) in our newsroom.

As I mentioned when I closed The Door a few weeks ago, it would be re-opened as the situation warranted. And today, my friends, we have a SITUATION.

For those of you just joining us, or those unfamiliar with The Door for personal reasons, I should explain that it is the most important door in our two-door newsroom. Not just because it leads to the commode, but also because it displays the best and worst examples of print journalism clipped and taped there by reporters at Siuslaw News since the 1970s. We like to think of The Door as the Smithsonian of journalistic history, except with the occasional sound of flushing. As iconic anchorman Dan Rather recently said, “It is unquestionably our most important relic representing modern journalistic history β€” or my name isn’t, uh… Barbara Walters?”

So, in keeping with tradition, let us join hands once again and, in a monotoned voice similar to me describing my last proctology exam, repeat the following:

The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.

Now… on too The Door!

As I said, a full-scale SITUATION has developed, warranting the induction of a new piece of journalistic history. What makes this entry special is that it comes from our own newspaper, demonstrating that even we at Siuslaw News are not infallible, as anyone who has used our newsroom commode can tell you. But in this instance, we’re talking about an annual special section we produce called Women in Business…

Our highly anticipated annual section that celebrates our local Women in Business with a cover photo of women who don't actually live or work here...

The cover to our highly anticipated annual section that celebrates our local Women in Business with a cover photo of women who don’t actually live or work here…

The idea behind this special section is to highlight local Women in Business by providing short bios and a photos of them, which they provide and purchase space for in advance. The newsroom actually has nothing to do with this project, which is assembled by a different department, somewhere in Zimbabwe I believe, along with the cover. Which could explain why no one noticed this when the section is folded…

I'm guessing a man was behind the brainstorming session for this cover design...

Sometimes “above the fold” isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be …

I’m guessing a man was behind the brainstorming session for this cover design.

And with that, we bid adieu to The Door until a SITUATION warrants opening it once again. Hopefully well after Joe has done his business.

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50 thoughts on “Excuse me, but I really need to get… The Door

  1. probably a brilliant under the radar move by your huge marketing department, as it does tend to draw the reader in to see what in the hell is going on.

No one is watching, I swear...

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