For those of you who witnessed me slide face-first down a pole during a windstorm a while back, it’s clear that I’m not above embarrassing myself for a laugh ā which isn’t to say it’s always intentional. But in this case, this morning’s post about visiting (and once living in) the Lone Star state ā and in particular, the thought of me in a cowboy hat ā has generated requests for evidence of my cowboy-hat-wearing days. So, Because I like to consider myself a cooperative person often clouded by poor judgement, I am including a photo from several years ago when I was, indeed, wearing a cowboy hat while playing in the water with my son at a nearby lake. On the advice of my lawyer, I am issuing the following disclaimer:
WARNING: The following image is graphic in nature and may not be suitable for young children, other than my son, who remains traumatized by his father’s stork legs…
See? Don’t say I didn’t warn you. After this, there’s a good chance that Lyle Lovett’s song “Texas Wants You Anyway” may not apply in my case.
Ned's Blog 
Cut-off jean shorts? Boy howdy! š
…Too fancy?
You are a good natured soul, giving your readers what they want.
Thanks Meredith, but I’m sure they are already regretting that… š
I’m surprised you left off the chaps. Surely they must make some waterproof ones…
I wore them for 8 seconds (rodeo reference) and realized I looked WAY TOO much like a member of the Village People.
Yes, there’s always that danger when chaps are involved.
There goes my stitches! Priceless and SO worth the trip thru WP today š
Now who’s the dude with great gams?!?
I take it you’re referring the little guy? š
Not a terrible pic, all in all.
Could be like the one I have of me (locjed away so no one can ever steal it and sue me for the hilarity induced hernia) around age 3, sitting on my pony and wearing the most Gawd-awful sombrero with my should a been cast as Annie, red curls corkscrewed out on all sides. That one truly makes the eyes ache š
It’s never too late for a Mexican-style revival of Annie, so don’t give up the dream, CeeLee š
Rest assured there’ll be no giving up on dreams out here. A rain delay perhaps, but the sun’ll come out-Oh God. Not that. Anything but that. LoL
Ha Ha Ha Ha! I was just thinking the same thing.
Wow! It’s a small world after all!
Wait… oh no, NO! Sorry!
Ah man…2 mind-busting songs in one day…lol
I give, I give!
I’ll tell you anything, just please make the bad songs go away! š
Shucks. I think the next photo needs to have a horse. Guffaws aside, great photo! Where did the paparazzi hide?
Ha! On the sand with my work camera and long lens.
Wow, I think that’s the only time “my” and “long” have ever been used in the same sentence together, aside from “long winded” maybe…
Why is it I don’t buy this…?
That’s pretty beefcakey. You might need to make a calendar.
I was thinking more like Spamcakey. Maybe they will sponsor a calendar?
Nope, nope. You can’t sell yourself short. I think you could grow your hair out long and replace Fabio altogether.
Isn’t he dead? If so, then yes š
giddy up
Dude…Your dimples!
What? My BUTT’s showing?!?
Cheeky Boy!
This is an embarrassing photo?? Yikes – you look great! Not a stork in sight! Now, in my case, there are large number of really bad photos! š
You didn’t see my webbed feet… š
It is not embarrassing unless you are in a speedo.
That would make it embarrassing for everyone involved.
Yikes! Where’s the mustache? Did it wash off in the water? Ha! That is actually an excellent picture Ned – you and the youngun look so happy.
The water plays heck with my spirit-gum ‘stache š
At first I thought this was a joke and then I realised the truth: Ned, you’re channelling John Wayne.
Ha! If I pull a muscle, I tend to walk like him š
There you go, then. Proof!
Buff much?
Biff, actually…
Still a nice photo. š
Thanks, Suz š
I’m cat-call whistling right now, can you hear it? That’s a good look for you.
Careful, If my head gets fat the hat won’t fit…
Ha! To the picture… but BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA to all your replies to the comments. You handled them well. š
Thanks, Heidi! I realize I have no one but myself to blame. Except for those skinny legs; I got those from my dad š
Lyall and Garth would be proud Dude
Ha! That’s always in the back of my mind…
Ha ha ha… oh Ned, you will do ANYTHING for a chance to show off your tank top. Shameless!
I was really shooting for a chance to flash those chicken legs and hoping for a KFC endorsement… š
The photo doesn’t look embarrassing at all, unless, of course, you’re standing in the water while wearing flip-flops with spurs. š
Haha! You know, the funny thing is I would totally wear those!
Look at them guns! What’s wrong with your legs? My man has bird legs, pfffft bwahaha! Yours look pretty good to me š
They say the camera adds another 10 pounds… to your guns š
You can take a man out of Oregon, but can you take Oregon out of a man?
This picture suggest that: YES, one can take Oregon out of a man. All you need is a hat apparently.
Anyway, a few days ago I flew to Holland at the speed of life, where your book had been awaiting me (and my family too). I’ve got to say it’s better than I expected it to be…and my expectations were already quite high. Most of what I read so far is new to me, but even the few columns/chapters/episodes(?) I did recognize were surprisingly funny. It’s amazing what the book format does to your words. There’s a big difference between reading something online and actually sitting down on a couch and opening up a book. (That last sentence should tell you how often I sit down to read books…about as often as you wear hats would be my guess).
So far I only read the first part of your book, but it’s resting quietly on my nightstand. Yes, Ned, every night we’re in bed together…and I fall asleep laughing.
So is there any place online I could write a customer review of some sorts? I think your book is way funnier than ‘The Da Vinci Code’, it’s way more clever than ‘Twilight’ and it’s so much easier to grasp than a phone book. Where could I let the world know they should buy your book?.
I’m so glad to hear you like the book, Arend. Seriously, I was worried you’d finally get it and say, “I’ve already read most of this crap! SHYSTER!” And yeah, it sounds as though I read about as often as you do, with or without a hat. That said, a customer review would be terrific. If you click on any of the book links at the very end of my posts, they will take you to places where you can leave comments/reviews. Supposedly it’s available on the UK Barnes & Noble site as well. Weird. I dont know how that works. Anyway, whatever you’d like to do would be appreciated, but don’t feel obligated even though we’re sleeping together.
I did want to ask if you’d mind if I use your comment as part of a “My Book” page I’m adding to my blog before the release of the eBook version next month (I just found out last week, sorry…) I particularly like “Surprisingly funny…” My intention is to have “reviews” that aren’t just hot air, but actually fun to read. Your comment would be perfect.
But if you’d rather not let the world know we’re sleeping together, I wouldn’t blame you…
Hey Ned,
I’m very proud to be in bed with you, even though you don’t get a side of the bed but rather a place on the nightstand;) Feel free to use my comment to your liking. I will also comment on one of the links you pointed me to. If those are to your liking, you’re also free to use those freely of course. You may even print out my comment and put it up on your fridge if you’d like, because pillow talk aside: your book is awesome. I just read the part on surgeons operating on the wrong people and/or the wrong parts of people and it’s obvious you’re more brilliant than a brain surgeon;)
Thanks so much, Arend. I really appreciate it. I’ll be including a link to your site as part of “review” text, so hopefully it will also send some folks your way after reading the comment. I may add something about winning a $1 million, too… š
If I win a million dollars this way I will buy a book store that exclusively sells your book. I promise.
Geez Ned, you look pretty hot in that pic š I don’t see anything wrong with your legs, haha! I think secretly you really like this picture of yourself and are fishing for compliments š
Lol! I have to admit I do like the photo, but mostly because my son looks so happy in that moment, before the moody teenager phase strikes! š
Yippie-Kai-Yay… Schmuck.
Mother Schmucker.
Nice one!
I couldn’t resist š
Damn. Welcome to the gun show. Almost distracts from that ridiculous hat š
I think “almost” is the key word in that comment.
It’s true LaFou.
The whole chicken leg thing is a keen evolutionary evolution. I noticed the shark net bobber thingys behind you and it’s interesting to note that Mother Nature has evolved Lone Star Dads so that even if the sharks get through the net they have such a small target that you’re not likely to be picked out by the hungry ones. That gets left to the fat boys. One more step on the evolutionary scale. You should be proud.
Haha! Chris, that is a brilliant observation; Survival of the chicken leggest. I will walk proudly on these drumsticks from now on.
Thank you.
Texas probably does want you. In fact, I think they are trying to drunk dial you right now.
Hahahahaha! That would explain all those hang-up calls.