Six headlines worth a Long Awkward Pause

As some of you know, I spend Saturday mornings chiming in on the Saturday Six with the rest of the staff at Long Awkward Pause. You can think of it as Hollywood Squares, except with everyone crammed into the middle square. And speaking of awkward, I’m getting a little uncomfortable with where Adam and Chris’s hands keep ending up. Anyway, the subject of this week’s Saturday Six is “WTF Headlines”, which is something I’m familiar with as a newspaper journalist. For example:


Calahan – She then donated the reward money she received for finding herself to someone chosen randomly out of the phonebook. That was her, too!

Chris – Woman 1: Who are we looking for? Woman 2: You. Woman 1: Oh, have you tried my cell phone? Woman 2: Yes, it says your lost. Woman 1: That’s weird, I don’t feel lost.

Katie – Crashing your own search party? Even I have better manners than that.

Ned: One month later, she is abducted by a serial killer but is able to sneak a call to the police from the back of his windowless van. “Officer O’Reilly speaking. Who is this? Oh, JENNIFER WELLS! What is it THIS time? Psychopath got you tied up in his van?” *makes jerking off motion* “Oh sure, Jen. We’ll get right on that!” — click…

Omawarisan – Everyone loves a good party.

BREAKING NEWS! Join me and the rest of the LAP staff for five more WTF Headlines here

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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

12 thoughts on “Six headlines worth a Long Awkward Pause”

  1. Gives new meaning to going to a therapist to “find yourself.” This is part of your Saturday routine?? How fun and funny! I wash and change bed linens on Saturday. But on Sunday… I jump on the bed.

    1. Ha! I wonder what Freud would say?

      Yeah, I write for Long Awkward Pause once or twice a month, and also join in each week for the Saturday Six with the rest of the gang. It’s a lot of fun. But probably not as fun as jumping on the bed.

  2. Nice to see your talents work in a group setting as well, Ned. And I’m not referring to those key parties you’re famous for in certain circles…

No one is watching, I swear...

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