In the event of a Sharknado, find the nearest catfish noodler
(This morning I’m over at Long Awkward Pause, where my assignment was to offer an informative piece on Sharknado survival. It’s a Public Service Announcement of sorts, minus the “service” part…)
Yes, Minnesota, even you have reason to fear a Sharknado. We all know it’s only a matter of time before “The Big One” hits the West Coast, probably somewhere in California first because, let’s face it, they get everything first. The aftershocks will then spread north along Oregon’s coastline, which is exactly where I happen to live. I’ve prepared myself for The Big One as best I can but the truth is: How much can you really prepare for a Sharknado?
Earthquake.
Tsunami.
Volcano.
No problemo.
But you’re going to need more than a survival kit of granola bars and toilet paper when faced with a giant tornado full of hungry Great White sharks. Although the toilet paper will probably come in handy. (Read more at LAP!)
I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writerβs journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...
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23 thoughts on “In the event of a Sharknado, find the nearest catfish noodler”
Find the nearest catfish noodler, applies to so many situations in life.
My wife and I watched it Sunday night and couldn’t stop laughing. Then again, we regularly have movie nights where we try to pick the of the worst sounding movies we can find. “After Dar” by Steven Seagal still reigns supreme on our list.
And yeah, I was in Subway yesterday and saw the table tents for Sharknado 2, which apparently Jared has a cameo in. Have you seen the movie trailer? Think bigger budget. Mostly for cheese. And I’m not talking about for Jared’s sandwich…
Your imagination has no limits. I’m looking forward to getting back into a regular reading and writing schedule soon! Hope you and the family are well. π
It’s so great to see you, Susan, and know it’s not just my imagination π Everyone’s doing good on this end, although one of my sons is struggling with some friends he’s made who are bad news. It’s been a challenge getting him to see that. I’m hopeful he’ll see the light before long. Parenting is a total blast sometimes *cough cough*
I’m looking forward to seeing your little typewriter here again soon π
It’s finally time to make time for myself and get back into the things I miss so much. Chatting with you is at the top of the list!! π Hope everything works out with your son….it’s so easy to fall in with the wrong crowd but I’m sure he’ll make the right choice.
Thank you for this important public service announcement. Sharknados are a real fear of mine after seeing such a realistic enactment of it on Netflix. Any sort of natural disaster that brings Tara Reid into my area deserves a lot of emergency preparedness planning so I appreciate you informing the public about such a real and terrifying threat!
I don’t mean to frighten you, but there’s talk of a Tara-nado coming to your area. Fortunately, her acting is so stiff that when she flies out of the funnel cloud she breaks apart on impact.
Find the nearest catfish noodler, applies to so many situations in life.
So true. In fact, most of Dr. Phil’s shows end with that sage advice.
I’m relatively certain Dr. Phil is a catfish noodler.
Noodler? Yes.
Whether catfish are involved is another matter…
of course you need more than granola! you need your bag of RX weed and some wine too….duh
; )
I have an idea your survival group would be the one having the most fun.
HAHAHAHA yup, and we won’t remember a thing when it’s all over!
Lol this was a movie that I was recently forced to watch. Did you know there is a sequel?!
My wife and I watched it Sunday night and couldn’t stop laughing. Then again, we regularly have movie nights where we try to pick the of the worst sounding movies we can find. “After Dar” by Steven Seagal still reigns supreme on our list.
And yeah, I was in Subway yesterday and saw the table tents for Sharknado 2, which apparently Jared has a cameo in. Have you seen the movie trailer? Think bigger budget. Mostly for cheese. And I’m not talking about for Jared’s sandwich…
Greetings from the professor! How are you this fine morning?
Do not mention Minnesota and Sharks, it took me years to go back in the lakes after Jawsπ¬
It would be irresponsible of me, as a journalist, not to warn you of the danger of sharks flying out of tornados in Minnesota…
ππAgreed
Your imagination has no limits. I’m looking forward to getting back into a regular reading and writing schedule soon! Hope you and the family are well. π
It’s so great to see you, Susan, and know it’s not just my imagination π Everyone’s doing good on this end, although one of my sons is struggling with some friends he’s made who are bad news. It’s been a challenge getting him to see that. I’m hopeful he’ll see the light before long. Parenting is a total blast sometimes *cough cough*
I’m looking forward to seeing your little typewriter here again soon π
It’s finally time to make time for myself and get back into the things I miss so much. Chatting with you is at the top of the list!! π Hope everything works out with your son….it’s so easy to fall in with the wrong crowd but I’m sure he’ll make the right choice.
I’m flattered to be at the top of that list, Susan π
And yeah, I feel confident he will get things turned around sometime before I kill him….
I’ll have to delete that comment so it’s not premeditated!! π
Hahaha! I think it might be too late π
Thank you for this important public service announcement. Sharknados are a real fear of mine after seeing such a realistic enactment of it on Netflix. Any sort of natural disaster that brings Tara Reid into my area deserves a lot of emergency preparedness planning so I appreciate you informing the public about such a real and terrifying threat!
I don’t mean to frighten you, but there’s talk of a Tara-nado coming to your area. Fortunately, her acting is so stiff that when she flies out of the funnel cloud she breaks apart on impact.