In the event of a Sharknado, find the nearest catfish noodler

(This morning I’m over at Long Awkward Pause, where my assignment was to offer an informative piece on Sharknado survival. It’s a Public Service Announcement of sorts, minus the “service” part…)

Yes, Minnesota, even you have reason to fear a Sharknado.
Yes, Minnesota, even you have reason to fear a Sharknado.
We all know it’s only a matter of time before “The Big One” hits the West Coast, probably somewhere in California first because, let’s face it, they get everything first. The aftershocks will then spread north along Oregon’s coastline, which is exactly where I happen to live. I’ve prepared myself for The Big One as best I can but the truth is: How much can you really prepare for a Sharknado?


No problemo.

But you’re going to need more than a survival kit of granola bars and toilet paper when faced with a giant tornado full of hungry Great White sharks. Although the toilet paper will probably come in handy. (Read more at LAP!)

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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

23 thoughts on “In the event of a Sharknado, find the nearest catfish noodler”

    1. My wife and I watched it Sunday night and couldn’t stop laughing. Then again, we regularly have movie nights where we try to pick the of the worst sounding movies we can find. “After Dar” by Steven Seagal still reigns supreme on our list.

      And yeah, I was in Subway yesterday and saw the table tents for Sharknado 2, which apparently Jared has a cameo in. Have you seen the movie trailer? Think bigger budget. Mostly for cheese. And I’m not talking about for Jared’s sandwich…

    1. It’s so great to see you, Susan, and know it’s not just my imagination πŸ˜‰ Everyone’s doing good on this end, although one of my sons is struggling with some friends he’s made who are bad news. It’s been a challenge getting him to see that. I’m hopeful he’ll see the light before long. Parenting is a total blast sometimes *cough cough*

      I’m looking forward to seeing your little typewriter here again soon πŸ˜‰

      1. It’s finally time to make time for myself and get back into the things I miss so much. Chatting with you is at the top of the list!! πŸ™‚ Hope everything works out with your son….it’s so easy to fall in with the wrong crowd but I’m sure he’ll make the right choice.

        1. I’m flattered to be at the top of that list, Susan πŸ˜‰

          And yeah, I feel confident he will get things turned around sometime before I kill him….

  1. Thank you for this important public service announcement. Sharknados are a real fear of mine after seeing such a realistic enactment of it on Netflix. Any sort of natural disaster that brings Tara Reid into my area deserves a lot of emergency preparedness planning so I appreciate you informing the public about such a real and terrifying threat!

    1. I don’t mean to frighten you, but there’s talk of a Tara-nado coming to your area. Fortunately, her acting is so stiff that when she flies out of the funnel cloud she breaks apart on impact.

No one is watching, I swear...

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