Another awkward moment at the mall thanks to Rihanna

As many of you know, my trips to the mall — although infrequent — often result in some type of awkward mishap. Maybe it’s because I’m a friendly person by nature who doesn’t discriminate because of race, creed, color, religious affiliation or, as with my last mall visit, even those who happen to be a mannequin. However, today’s visit to the mall was just plain embarrassing. Keep in mind that in the few months since the release of my book, I’ve had — and I’m not exaggerating — at least two people recognize me from outside a 10-mile radius of my hometown. Although I’m learning to accept this kind of celebrity, I could have never anticipated the reaction I got from Rihanna during today’s trip to the mall with my son…

Who knew Rihanna was so clingy?!?
Who knew Rihanna was so clingy?!?

Fortunately, my quick-thinking son Jake was able to snap this photo of me rebuffing Rihanna while exiting “Purfumania” after not finding any Hai-Karate aftershave.

I’m just thankful it wasn’t Oprah…

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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

18 thoughts on “Another awkward moment at the mall thanks to Rihanna”

  1. You never fail to disappoint dear Ned. How fortunate the paparazzi live under your same roof and can grab a photo op at any time. (Beware when he starts to sneak around the bathroom!)

    NOW: for a little 6 degrees of separation. My co-worker has a step son who is the starting linebacker for the Philadelphia Eagles and has been reportedly linked to said player. She told me a couple of weeks ago that she’s planning on Rhianna for their Thanksgiving dinner and just doesn’t know what to expect. Claims that they are “just friends.”
    Would you like me to have her invite you as well? Hey. I’m just here to help 🙂

    1. Hahaha! If he’s planning to have her for dinner, he probably doesn’t want extra company. Besides, after the Purfumania incident, dinner would be a little awkward 😉

  2. Overbearing celebrities are just the WORST. Like there was this one time that I was at Jamba Juice and Venus Williams kept incessantly engaging me in conversation, but she was making me late for grocery shopping so I had to split. I don’t have a photo though.

  3. That’s pretty much the most brilliant and uncomfortable photoshop ever. Thanks for that. Also btw I called you out in a post many weeks ago. Not gonna’ link it here because I always hate when people hyperlink in my comments. Anyway enjoying your posts as always! 🙂

    1. I can honesty say there was no Photoshopping involved. There was, however, a life-sized cardboard cut-out involved. Of Rihanna, not me.

      And thanks for the shout-out, Marla 😉 I’m just now starting to catch up with my reading, which has fallen wayyyyy too far behind. Thanks for your constant good spirit and kind heart. Plus some damned good clown fish photos 😉

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